Marriage, Growing up, Children and Such
by Marshmallow Master
Summary: Guess what guys? Natsu knocks Lucy up, and now others are doing 'it' too! Pairings(oh gosh)- NaLu, GaLe, Gruvia, Mirajane and Freed(Fried?), RoWen, Elfman and Evergreen, Jerza, Happy and Charle. Mostly pointless, but hey, its fun!
1. Aw hells naw

ルーシーの家で(at Lucy's house)

Holy... Crap. I'm too young for this, aren't I? I know other girls my age(18) go through this, but they're, just, well...

But, anyways, I'm not ready for this! It's like, er, I'm not ready! You understand, right?

I was knocked out of wild thoughts as I saw a puff of smoke. Loke was standing in my bedroom. "KYAA! Loke! What are doing here?!" I screamed. Loke pushed his glasses up his nose. He looked like a model for "Pretty Boy Magazine" as he said, "I sensed you were distressed. I came as quickly as I could. So, what is it that's bothering you?"

I then realized the wonderful reaction I could get out of him if I told him my "special" news. I grinned evilly and whispered, "Hey Loke. I have some good news." I paused to giggle at the expression on his face. He looked very solemn. This expression would soon be gone. "I'm pregnant with Natsu's child."

Loke went pale. His hair was suddenly sagging over his eyes, and his chin was hanging below his knees. I waited for an uncomfortably long silence, until Loke turned around and slumped over. I swear, if he was a dog, his tail would be between his legs.

"I-I-I-I think you can handle it from here..." Loke murmured. I started rolling on the floor laughing, literally. I was having a jolly good time, until I remembered the pressing issue at hand.

Oh right, I'm preggers. This is horrible! What am I going to tell everyone? Wait, am I going to tell anyone? I know I'm going to tell Natsu, I mean, it's his child too. But, what about Erza and Levy and Gray? Are we going to tell them?

I gave it about three seconds of thinking to come up with this conclusion: No freaking way. I mean, everyone is going to tell us how irresponsible we are, or be cooing all over the baby. Both options would seem like going to hell and back.

Jeez Louise, this is going to be one helluva mess.

フェアリーテイルギルドホールにて(at the Fairy Tail guild hall)

When I got to the guild, I immediately went to counter and sulked. I was in a boiling black put of angst, and it was no fun at all, let me tell you.

I heard a person walk up behind me and sit down on the stool next to me. "Hey Lucy." It was Gray. I picked my head up and slowly looked at him, at scowl on my face. "What's up?" I demanded.

"The ceiling."

"Shut up."

"Jeez, looks like someone is grumpy today."

"I'm not in the mood."

"You aren't, are you?"

I gave Gray the death glare. He said, "What's wrong?" His voice was so concerned, it touched my soul. I burst into tears, and Gray put a comforting arm around my shoulders. And at that moment, I felt I could trust my life with him. And so I whispered in my ear exactly what was bothering me.

He screamed, "YOU AND NATSU DID NOT DO THAT, DID YOU?" Everyone stared. No one moved, or said anything. I gave out another wail, and set my head against the countertop.

Natsu and Happy strode in the doors, and Natsu yelled, "Why is it so quiet in here?" Then all attention turned from me, to him. Erza was the first to break the awkward silence by dragging Natsu by the ear outside saying things like, "We need to have a talk."

Oh dear. Poor Natsu.

Levy and Mira then strode up to me. Levy started to say, "So, Lu-chan, it looks like you and Natsu-" But Mira cut her off by saying, "Lucy, do you want to come to a sleepover at my apartment at Fairy Hills tonight? It's just for us girls. I think you, me, Lisanna, Levy, Erza, Cana, Juvia, Wendy, and Charle are coming. What do you say?"

Hmm, I probably will need something to get my mind off of things. "Okay." I said slowly. Levy started jumping up and down, clapping, singing, "Yay! Yay! Lu-chan is coming!"

I unenthusiastically clapped, halfheartedly saying, "Yay..."

(AN- Oh dear, what will happen to our dear Lu-chan at the sleepover? Will anyone find out her secret? Ooh, the drama! JK! I can do WAY better in the drama department...i hope...

Granny Kagura- Your hopes are in vain.

Me- You want to see where poor Kanna went?

Granny Kagura- *shudders* No, Master. But why am I here, anyways? This is a Fairy Tail fanfic, and I'm from InuYasha. And why are you calling me "granny"? I'n only, like, six months old, or something. This make no sense.

Me- Well, neither does Norma the Norwegian Norwhal.

Norma- Hiiii!

Granny Kagura- It's NARwhal!

Me- Don't care!)


	2. Sleepover I

妖精の丘にあるミラのアパートで(at Mira's apartment in Fairy Hills)

I rang the doorbell of Mira and Lisanna's apartment. I was getting soaked. It was pouring hard outside. Lisanna opened the door. "Hi Lucy! I'm glad you came!" I flashed a smile and said, "Thank you." She returned the smile and said, "Here, come inside. You'll catch a cold."

I followed her inside and what I saw was Juvia and Levy talking, Erza and Mira giggling over some food in a kitchen, and Cana casting Wendy's fortune, Charle watching with interest and amusement.

"Set your things here." Lisanna said, motioning to a sofa with other duffel bags on it, as well. "Okay," Lisanna, "I gotta go help Mira-nee with food." I nodded and Lisanna strode off.

I chose to see what Wendy's fortune was, and headed over. "So," I started, "What's your fortune, Wendy?" Wendy turned her head towards me. "Oh. Hello Lucy. Cana says something important is going to happen to me tomorrow." She said, "I wonder what's going to happen."

I patted her head. "I wonder too..." Charle spoke up then. "I don't see why you're so curious about it. You're going to find out tomorrow." Wendy sighed. "You just don't understand, do you Charle?" She said. Charle folded her arms over her and 'hmphed', I don't know what you call it.

Wendy and Charle left, bickering about one thing or another. Cana said, "I actually know what's going to happen to her. I just didn't feel like ruining the surprise." I widened my eyes at her. "Well what is going to happen?" I asked eagerly. Cana smirked. "Romeo's going to make a move tomorrow night on their date."

"Move?"

"He's gonna kiss her."

"Really? I'm so glad! They're so cute together!"

"Aren't they?" I was going to say something, when I was cut off by Levy shouting at Juvia, "I swear, if you don't tell him, I will!" Juvia looked startled and immediately said, "No no. Juvia will call Gray-sama right now."

Levy leaned back, looking satisfied. "Good." She said. Juvia dialed her phone, and we all quieted down to hear the conversation. We waited in anticipation as the phone buzzed.

And buzzed.

And buzzed.

"Hello?" It was Gray's voice.

"Gray-sama! Juvia would like to tell you something. But first, will you take Juvia to the ball? She would really like to go with Gray-sama and-"

"I would love to go."

"Really? Gray-sama would love to go with Juvia?!" At this point, Juvia's eyes had turned into little hearts, pulsing every now and then. No one thought it weird. I mean, this is an anime fanfic of all things.

"Well, duh I wanna go with you. I don't want to get stuck dancing with Erza all night."

"Juvia loves you Gray-sama!"

"WHAT?!"

"Er, um... Juvia loves Gray-sama?!" Juvia was redder than a tomato.

"You love me? That came out of the blue. I mean, I thought Mira and Fried was unexpected, but we're just way out there! I bet no one would've see this coming!"

Everyone sweatdropped and yelled into Juvia's phone, "WE DID SEE IT COMING!" All of us then erupted into chatter about how dense Gray really was. Except for Juvia. She was too busy rolling on the floor, singing "Gray-sama, chachacha!" Over and over and over until I felt like I was going to have conniption.

"SHUT UP JUVIA!" Cana yelled. Juvia kept singing. Then, out of nowhere, a giant metal word that read "IRON" dropped out of nowhere and hit Juvia in the head, knocking her out in the process.

"Thank you Levy. We all needed the lack of 'Gray-sama chachachaa' going around." Lisanna said. Levy grinned. "My pleasure." Was her response.

There was a pause as Mira and Lisanna went to retrieve the trays of fruit and fruit dip, along with meat cheese and crackers along with a plate of chocolate- chocolate chip cookies. Guess which one was empty first?

Well, if you guessed "The Fruit", you were completely wrong. It was actually the meat. My god, it was pure heaven.

After all of us stuffed our faces in a dainty, ladylike manner, Mira got an idea. "Hey, why not play truth or truth?" Everyone froze. They knew what was coming: Enough public embarrassment for more than a lifetime. But, unfortunately, when Mira got started, she wouldn't stop.

"It's a really fun and simple game." Mira continued on, brightly, "Here's an example: I would ask Levy 'Truth or truth?'" Levy paled at the mention of her name in one of Mira's 'examples'. "And of course, truth would be her response. And then I would ask a question somewhat to the nature of, oh I don't know, 'Is Gajeel good in bed?'" Levy switched from her previous ghostly white, to a scarlet that rivals that of Erza's hair. "And Levy would respond 'Oh, yes. He acts like a jungle cat. Rawr.' Sounds like fun, doesn't it?" I could see Levy mouthing "Jungle cat? Rawr?" to herself, over and over.

I'm so glad I wasn't in her shoes. Now, it's game on. Every woman for herself in Mira's twisted, demonic, hellish idea of a game.

(AN-

Me- Muahahaha! Behold the almighty power of the marshmallow master! I can do anything! HAHAHA!

Granny Kagura- Knock off that racket! I'm trying to plan my escape! Jesus, just when I'm free of Naraku, this crazy lady comes up.

Soul- *sigh* Tell me about it.

Me- What? Soul?! Nuggets, the seal wasn't supposed to weaken until 2013. Aww, that gypsy ripped me off.

Granny Kagura- What the heck is she talking about?

Soul- She put that seal on me because I found out)


	3. Sleepover II

"Lisanna. Truth or truth?" Mira asked innocently. Lisanna cringed. "Truth." She croaked. Geez, I didn't realize Mira was so heartless. Even her own little sister(who was missing for quite a long time in an alternate universe) is scared to death by her "questions". Mira giggled maniacally.

"Okay, so we all know that you had a thing for Natsu when we were younger. But now, you never say anything about it. What the heck happened there?" Mira asked. Lisanna reddened. She had an answer. "Umm, I was trying to be considerate to Lucy...?" She said/asked. "Cut the crap, Lisanna. We all can tell you have a real answer." Mira said, leaning close to Lisanna's face.

"I, um, uh... Like... Um... Er... Someone else..." Lisanna muttered. "Say it louder, soldier! You are a woman, not a pansy! Say it loud and proud!" Mira instructed, similar to how a drill sergeant would address his pupils. "I AM IN LOVE WITH GRAY FULLBUSTER!" Lisanna shouted.

There was a long, awkward pause. We could hear the rain drumming on the roof. No one moved. They all stared at Lisanna in a shocked silence, including myself. "...What?" I asked. "A viable question." Levy observed. "Juvia's gonna be totally POed." Cana said, with a smirk.

Charle's eyes glazed over. When she came back, she looked worried. "Oh no. At the ball, Juvia's going to-" Charle was then interrupted by Juvia bolton upright. "What about Juvia?" She demanded fiercely. "Oh, nothing, nothing..." Mira told her, with a comforting tone in her voice.

I wondered absently whether Mira had a split personality or something. Like, one moment she's a freaking dominatrix, and the next, she's the nice, friendly Mira like she is at the guild. Maybe I could ask Lisanna...

"Wendy," Lisanna asked, "How far have you and Romeo gotten? You're thirteen and fourteen now, aren't you? Don't tell me you haven't even kissed." Wendy shifted uncomfortably. Cana and I exchanged glances. We knew.

"Well, um, uh... We just, um... We've only been going out for three months!" Wendy stuttered/muttered. "Wendy," Cana said, "When I was your age, I had already kissed ten different guys." We weren't surprised to hear this. Wendy was though.

She was even more embarrassed. She drug her knees to her chest, and muttered, "Juvia, truth or truth?" Juvia glanced around nervously at us. "Truth...?" She asked. Ah, that's right. She was unconscious during Mira's "explanation". "Doesn't Lyon have a crush on you?" Wendy said, as quiet as before. Juvia shuddered. "Yes, he does." She said, her lips curling up. "Umm..." She said, obviously confused on who to ask, "Erza." She finally decided, "Have you ever even gone out with anyone?"

Erza immediately reddened. Seems like there's been a lot of that. "Umm, no..." She said quietly. "Ahh, don't worry, Erza. I haven't gone out with anyone either." Lisanna reassured. It hit what a nice person Lisanna was. She actually seemed to genuinely care about people. "So, um, yes! Levy, truth or truth?" Erza said, still unsure of herself.

Levy, still coming back to her original color from Mira's explanation, said, "Truth." With this kind of expression on her face X.X due to her newfound fear of being asked personal questions. Or that's what I thought. "Is that your natural hair color?" Erza finally decided on asking.

Everyone looked at Erza, disappointedly. Even me. I wanted to know something about Levy's secrets. "Umm, yeah. It is. One could ask you the same thing, Erza." Levy grinned, satisfied with herself. Cana, right next to me, whispered in my ear, "That was lame. I wanted to know if Gajeel really is like a jungle cat. Rawr." I let out a small giggle, which Cana returned.

"Lu-chan." Levy demanded. "Truth, or truth?"

(AN

Me- Voila! Good quality cliffie, really short and crappy chapter! Hahaha! That's reverse what I have usually!

Granny Kagura- One could argue that all of your chapters are crappy.

Me- That's it! That's the last straw! I'm calling Marshmallow #1(or just #1 for short)!

Soul- Nononono! Wait!

Norma- Hiiii!

#1(on phone)- Norma? Is that Norma I hear?

Norma- Auntie Marshmallow!

Soul- Auntie Marshmallow?

#1- Your lucky, Master. You got Norma all to yourself!

Me- I'm called master for a reason. Anyways, tell off Granny Kagura for making fun of me!

Soul- Your screwed, Kagura.

#1- Is that Soul I hear? You said that seal wasn't supposed to weaken until 2013-

Me- Yeah, yeah. The gypsy ripped me off. Now, verbally harass Granny Kagura. Go!

#1-(this part is edited out due to it's disrespectful nature)

Granny Kagura- How, how, how could you say such a thing?

Me- Good job #1, it's a good thing I keep you on top.

#1- Bye Soul! Bye Master! Bye Norma! Bye Granny Kagura! Bye, Soul!

Me- You said "Bye Soul" twice.

#1- I like Soul.)


	4. Sleepover III

パジャマパーティーに(at the slumber party)

"Lu-chan, truth or truth?" Levy asked. I paled instantly. I knew what was coming. Everyone was going to know my secret before it even had the chance to be a legit secret. "*insert cuss word here* Truth." I said. I tried not to look too panicked, to no avail.

"So, we all know what Gray meant when he shouted in the guild hall this morning. So, your question is, was this your's and Natsu's first time?" Levy looked intellectually interested, which made no sense. But wait, she hadn't asked if I was pregnant? Yay! Yay! I'm off the hook for now! Yay! "Yeah..." I mumbled. My cheeks reddened. Hmm, although my excessive mental rejoicing, I appear bashful on the outside. Good job, Lucy, good job.

Oh right, who should I choose. Let's see, my options are Cana and Charle. I don't think Charle would Cana a good question, so I decided, "Cana, truth or truth?" I smiled pleasantly, still elated at the fact that no one but Gray and Loke knew I was pregnant. But on second thought, how did those two, of all people learn it first?

Cana replied with the standard, "Truth." And i asked the obvious question: "How many gallons of alcohol do you go through every day?" Everyone seemed to be on the edge of their seats, besides Mira, who probably knew anyways. Cana tapped her chin. "Hmm, let's see. If I'm just not in a drinking mood, I'd say about 20 gallons." I heard Levy mutter, "How is 20 gallons 'not in a drinking mood'?" Everyone ignored her, but kept their undivided attention on Cana.

"On normal days, about 45 gallons." Cana said, "And when I'm really having fun," She grinned, "I can do 60 gallons?" Everyone gawked. "But my record is 101.7 gallons in one day." Cana grinned wider, and everyone else started saying things like, "I don't drink that much liquid in general," and, "When does she have time to do these things on her missions?" and the occasional, "Cana has serious skills."

Cana looked pleased enough with herself. "Now, now," She insisted, "Charle, truth or truth?" Cana looked amused. Charle looked shocked. "Truth." Charle muttered quietly. She looked spiteful. "So, who do like better, Happy or Lily?" Cana was still grinning a little.

Charle sighed, as if she was expecting this. Well, she probably predicted and had her answer all planned out. Man, this was going to be stupid. "Well," Charle started, sounding as official as always, "While I find Lily much more mature and better for conversation." I saw Erza nod and and felt understanding. Happy always did something weird. Then I thought of all the times that Happy did something weird. Which was every time I talked to him.

"But, Happy is more passionate and has the right state of mind. Also, I've been through more with him." Charle said, "So, I do like Happy better." Wendy looked at Levy and held out her hand. Wendy was grinning. Levy growled and gave her a twenty dollar bill*. I assumed out dear Levy-chan just lost a bet. But I didn't think either of them was the type to gamble. Then again, they wouldn't think I was the type to get pregnant before I got married.

"Now, now," Charle interrupted my thoughts, "Mira, truth or truth." Mira looked caught of guard, as if she forgot that she had to answer a question too. Then, she smiled sweetly, and said, "Truth." Charle then said, "What's the most embarassing thing you've ever done?"

Mira tapped her chin, as if she's done a lot of embarrassing things. Then she finally came up with, "One time, to make Erza angry," Ah. This was when Mira and Erza were rivals, "I tried to seduce Gray. And it worked." This sent everyone into fits of laughter, especially Erza, Lisanna, and Cana. They obviously remembered when this happened. But there was one thing that confused me.

"But why are you laughing if you were angry, Erza?" I asked. "Well," Erza started, still laughing, "I was angry at first, but the look on Gray's face made me forgive Mirajane very quickly." Wow. I didn't know Erza had a sense of humor. But, now thinking about it, it would've been pretty funny. Gray might've of as well have grown a double chin and be named Jethro.

Juvia, however, was not amused. She was astounded that "anyone would do such a thing to her precious Gray-sama." I thought I saw Lisanna blush a little. When the laughter calmed down a bit, I cared enough to look at the clock, because I was getting tired. 11:46. Seriously, I got here around seven. Had four hours really gone by? It didn't seem likely, yet it was true. Plus, didn't pregnant people have to sleep more, or something...?

I yawned. Erza looked at me, and then at the clock. "Wow. We should get to sleep." Erza said, looking more composed after the huge Gray-Mira thing. Geez, I'm lauding just thinking about it. It was pretty dang funny. "Yeah. I don't want to have dark circles under my eyes for my date tomorrow..." Wendy trailed off, turning slightly red at the mention of her boyfriend.

"Wendy and I can share the armchair." Charle said. "I can sleep on the floor, because I brought a sleeping bag." Levy brought up. "Same with Juvia." Juvia said, patting her own sleeping bag. "I wanna sleep on this couch, it's really comfy." Cana said, stretching out on the large, leather couch. "Hmm, I guess Erza and I can sleep in my room." Mira said. Lisanna smiled brightly. "So that means Lucy and I can sleep in my room." She said, still smiling.

Okay, normally, I would've been kind of afraid to sleep in a room with Lisanna alone, because I thought she still liked Natsu. But now that I knew she liked Gray, I wasn't as afraid I would get on her bad side. "Okay," I said friendly, "I'll go get my things."

(AN

*Blah, blah, blah. I know they use jewel as their currency, but I really don't care enough to try and figure that out. I can't handle math in the summer.

Me- Hahaha! Chapter 4 is done at last!

Granny Kagura- Took you long enough.

Soul- Yeah, being lazy isn't cool.

Me- I don't care! But I do care that Lucy and Lisanna will either have a humungo argument, or have a touching moment. Either way, Lisanna will-

Granny Kagura- Okay, I thought your principle was never to spoil the readers?

Soul- When has she ever said that?

Me- Yeah, I'm confused too.

Granny Kagura-Oh, you've never said that, I just felt like ruining your reader's lives! Hahaha!

Norma- Hiiii!

Me- *sigh* It won't ruin their lives.

Soul- Are you okay, Kagura? Did you eat something funny...?

Granny Kagura- Jeez! Even Naraku gave me more respect than you guys!

Soul- I know Aretha Franklin wanted the same thing you did.

Me- Aww, Granny Kagura has an inferiority complex? She thinks she's not good enough for us?

Granny Kagura- That's not it at all!

Me- Because I can call Marshmallow #3 and get some sessions set up and-

Soul- No. No! NO! #3 is even scarier than #1!

Granny Kagura- What?

Me- I'll take that as a yes!

Soul- X_x

Granny Kagura- No, that's not what I meant!

#3- (over phone) *Le gasp* Is that Kagura? Like, Naraku's Kagura?

Me- That's Granny Kagura to you.

#3- I am forever sorry master! Please forgive me!

Me- You are forgiven. But, are you free on Fridays at 5:30?

#3- Now I am.

Me- Good. Granny Kagura needs some sessions.

#3- Oh. Granny Kagura and I will have loads of fun! I'll show her what the people sell behind Wal-Mart!

Granny Kagura- No! I'm not into that stuff!

#3- You will be after my sessions)


	5. Sleepover IV(the final sleepover)

パジャマパーティーに(at the slumber party)

I laid in Lisanna's window seat, with blankets all around me. It was extremely cozy, and I wondered how I would be able to force myself out in the morning. Oh wait. Mira's making pancakes and bacon. Bacon. Yum.

I closed my eyes, wanting to fall asleep. Despite being in, until a while ago, a romantic rival's bedroom, it was pretty peaceful.

It wasn't like Lisanna and I always had petty fights like Natsu and Gray, it's just that it was uncomfortable, knowing that if Lisanna hadn't have gone to Edolas, her and Natsu would probably engaged now. I felt bad for her, going into a world that wasn't her own, then coming back just to find that her romantic hopeful had a different girl(me), then crushing on a guy who had a rabid stalker who would probably kill her if she tried to make a move on him. No offense, Juvia.

Man, now that I think about it, Lisanna's life, love life at least, must really suck. And I was to blame. If I hadn't have come to Fairy Tail, Lisanna might be the one pregnant with Natsu's child. But then again, if I hadn't have joined the guild, maybe the events in Edolas might have gone differently, and Lisanna would still be there. Agh! I should just be happy that Lisanna doesn't resent me or anything.

"Lucy?" I jumped about a foot in the air when I heard Lisanna say my named. I also screamed, "Kya!" My heart was pounding from the scare that she had given me. "Lisanna, I thought you were asleep. You scared me." I mustered. "Sorry." Her voice permeated the darkness. "I wanted to talk to you." She wants to talk to me. Oh no... What if she's mad about something and-

"I've been thinking about what Gray said at the guild this morning." Oh no. What if she finds out- "And I was wondering why someone would be upset they, you know, did that." Crap. Lisanna's way to intuitive for her own good. "So, did you guys use protection...? I mean, I don't want to butt in on your privacy or anything." Lisanna started to sound worried. Then, I decided to just give up, and tell her.

I sighed, for good dramatic effect, and said, "It's okay. You're right. I'm pregnant with Natsu's child."

"Wait, you're not just joking, are you?"

"No! Why would I joke about something like this?"

"It's just that," Lisanna paused, "I think... That maybe you would want to... Make me jealous...?"

"Why would anyone be jealous of an unplanned, pre-marital pregnancy?" My voice had a cold edge that I did not want there. I wished that Lisanna and I could be friends.

"Well... Um..." Lisanna sounded extremely awkward.

"It's okay. I don't think you have any more feelings for Natsu. You can tell me if you do. I wouldn't be mad."

"Nah. I'm over Natsu. He was just a childhood crush. Nothing more."

"But what about Gray and Juvia? What are you going to do about that?" I was genuinely concerned for Lisanna. I didn't want her to get her heart broken. I was afraid Natsu had broken her heart, by being with me. But now that I know that it wasn't, it made me very happy, and I wanted her to avoid it at all costs.

"I don't know! Juvia would probably kill me if I did anything with Gray."

"Oh, yeah. I forgot about her..."

"W-well... Can you introduce me to someone else? Do y-you know anyone else that would like me?"

This caught me off guard. I wasn't expecting Lisanna to want to find someone else. "Lisanna," I said carefully, "Maybe you shouldn't go through loves like that. You need time to heal. I can introduce you to someone in the future. But, for the time being, I can invite you to my house to eat chocolate ice-cream and watch sappy romance movies. How about that? I mean, I think that's what pregnant women and women getting over a love do, right? I'm just going with clichés here."

I heard Lisanna laugh. "I think you're right, Lucy. About the love thing. I would probably just get my heart broken if I tried dating again. Well, I never really got that far with Gray, but that's not the point. I think I could use some chocolate ice-cream and sappy romance movies. But-"

"But what?" I asked. I started to panic. What if she had the same knack of making people do uncomfortable things that her sister did.

"But, I want you to tell, at least Natsu and Erza. They are your teammates. Maybe Levy, she's like your best friend, isn't she? It's not good to keep secrets like that."

I was afraid of this. But, Lisanna was right. I should tell them. I was originally only planning to tell Natsu, but now five other people would know. Geez, I was going to get it later. I mean, the whole celestial spirit world was probably raving about it by now. I didn't want that to happen here. "Okay. I'll tell them. But will we still get to eat ice-cream and watch romance movies, right?" I said, dutifully.

"All right, Luce. How about tomorrow at three?"

(AN

Me- What? When did this turn into a hurt-comfort fic? JK! The chappie's not over yet!)

The next morning, I ate Mira's delicious bacon. I even dipped it in whipped cream that was meant for the pancakes. It was surprisingly awesome. It felt like angels were frolicking on my taste buds. Cana and Levy gave me strange looks, but I didn't care. It was that delicious.

I actually got Wendy and Juvia to try it, and they agreed with me that it was delicious. After that, Charle gave me weird looks. "C'mon Erza, It's delicious!"

"I don't know... I've never had anything like it-"

"You know you want to. Whipped cream and bacon. Two great tastes that taste great together."

"Juvia finds it quite enjoyable."

"Oh... All right..." Erza dipped her bacon in the tub of whipped cream and tentatively directed it to her mouth. Her face lit up. "This," She said, "Is like angels are frolicking on my tastebuds!" Wendy and I grinned. I said, "Exactly how I would describe it."

Lisanna and Mira looked at each other, nodded, then dipped their bacon into the whipped cream. They simultaneously stuck it in their mouths, and identical smiles lit their faces. "This is going on the menu at the guild." Mira said, and Lisanna dipped her bacon again, nodding all the while.

Charle, Levy, and Cana had similar expressions on their faces: disgust. "How can you people eat this stuff?" Charle demanded. "Yeah. It's like, I don't know, an abomination or something." Levy commented. All of the believers gasped at the same time. "How dare you say such a thing!" I exclaimed. Then, I realized what an amazing opportunity this was.

"Levy, we need to talk. Erza, you come with, too." I said, while dragging Levy outside of Mira's apartment. Erza followed closely behind. When we were outside, Levy said, "Look, I'm not going to eat that bacon crap. It's so-" I cut her off, saying, "It's not that. I wanted to tell you two something." Erza looked caught off guard. She was probably expecting to lecture Lecy about the ultimate epicness of bacon and whipped cream.

"Well, what is it Lucy?" Erza asked, looking pretty dang confused. "Well, um... It's about what Gray said yesterday at the guild." I reddened, and Levy got an evil little grin. "Ah. So Lu-chan's gonna tell us-" She said, but Erza put a hand on her shoulder, and scarily(AN- Is that even a word?) said, "Shut up." Levy shrank down and said in a tiny voice, "A-aye!"

"Well, I'm, er..." I shifted uncomfortably. Erza and Levy were leaning forwards, wanting to know what it was I was going to tell them. "I'mpregnantwithNatsu'schild!" I said, very quickly, seeing as how the author did not use any spaces. "Eh?" Levy asked, her eyebrows furrowing. "I think she said she's pregnant with Natsu's child." Erza said, a look of absolute astonishment on her face. I didn't blame her. I would do the same.

"Ahh... It all makes sense now," Levy said, "But Lu-chan, are prepared for a baby in any way whatsoever?" Levy was getting right up in my face. Erza was doing the same. "Well, um..." I started, backing away from them. "Yes! I will help you prepare. We'll be here for you, Lucy. Tell us when you need anything." Erza persisted while Levy said something along the lines of, "Yeah, I won't even complain when you eat that freaky bacon stuff. I mean, it makes sense, seeing as how your pregnant and everything. Oh! I should read some books about pregnancy with you. Doesn't that sound fun?"

While I replied with a hasty, "No." my voice was overpowered by Erza's. She was saying, "I like the bacon, and I am most certainly not pregnant. Got that?" Erza looked very scary. Levy shrank again. "Aye sir!" She said. Erza looked satisfied, leaning back and crossing her arms. "When are you telling the guild?" Erza asked politely, despite her very, very violent nature towards Levy just a second ago.

"When someone figures it out when they're not supposed to." I said hastily, knowing that this is what I wanted. "Oh all right." Levy said, "But when someone does find out, can I throw you a baby shower?" I just smiled, and nodded.

(line break)

When we walked back to the kitchen, smiling, and laughing, everyone was astounded. Their jaws had dropped all the way to the floor. I suppose they suspected Levy would come back with a couple of new bruises. "B-but, bacon! A-and pow! And-" Juvia stammered. I adverted attention from our little bacon dilemma, by saying, "So Wendy, where's Romeo taking you tonight?" I leaned over Mira's countertop, and stared into Wendy's reddening face.

"He's taking me to La Café Belle*." She muttered, and I gasped. "That is the nicest restaurant in town!" Cana exclaimed. "They make good cake for Juvia on rush order." Juvia said flatly. "I wish Gajeel was as classy as Romeo." Levy said. I laughed. "Maybe he should take an etiquette class with Natsu." Everyone smirked. "That is something I would pay money to see." Lisanna said, grinning. Wendy looked up a little. "But, forget our boring old boyfriends," I said, "What are you going to wear?"

Wendy's jaw dropped, and held up a finger, signifying she had no clue. "You can borrow some of my old clothes." I said. Wendy looked panicked. "No. I don't want to wear your clothes."she said hastily. I glared. "What's that supposed to mean?" My comment was ignored. Mira said, "I'll help you. I won't make you wear anything scary like Lucy wears." Wendy looked relieved, as did Charle. I screamed, "If there's something you want to say, say it!" This comment was ignored as well.

"Well, I'm coming along, whether you like it, or not." I said, pouting with my lips. "Me too. I'll make sure you have whatever you desire!" Erza said, animatedly. Wendy looked tentatively at her fashion crew: Me, Mira, and Erza. Charle facepalmed. This afternoon was going to be LOADS of fun!

(AN-

Me- *LOLz! Cameo from my Soul Eater fic! Hahaha! *awkward pause* I'm night high, don't judge. Anyways, I decided this would just be going through everyday life, and it'll be really long and boring... But never mind that! I'm taking Granny Kagura, Soul, and Norma for a walk in the park. You know, to get some air.

Soul- As much as I appreciated being able to breathe different air, are these chains really necessary?

Me- Of course! I don't want you running away, now do I?

Soul- *under his breath* Drat. Foiled again.

Granny Kagura- Hey! Lady! Do you see what this crazy is doing to me? I have to get free!

Me- Who are you shouting at, Granny Kagura? Oh wait... That's Marshmallow #4! Good eye, Granny Kagura!

Granny Kagura- *cries* A single tear shed, for my lost sense of security in this cold, dark place people call the world.

#4- OMG! Is that Soul? Like, THE Soul?

Me- Sure is!

Soul- Oh great. Another fangirl. Just what I need.

Me- Pshaw! You should see one of my other friends(not yet a marshmallow)! She would be all over you!

Norma- Hiii!

#4- NORMA! *kisses and hugs Norma*

Norma- Auntie Marshmallow #4!

Soul- *sweatdrop*

Granny Kagura- Another tear shed for my lost sanity.

#4- What will you have me do, O Master?*kneels*

Me- Oh, nothing. You can walk with us, though! Just don't let Soul or Granny Kagura out of their restraints, got it?

#4- I shall greatfully accept your offer and dutifully obey your commands.

Soul- What did this crazy lady do to these poor girls?

#4- Ahh! That story starts from the fifth grade when*tells long and heroic tale of the elite squad of marshmallows*

Me- *sniffs* That was beautiful, #4! Bravo! Bravo!

#4- No, thank you Master!

Me- You're too kind!

Soul- *sigh* How did I get mixed up with these crazies?

Granny Kagura- Another tear shed for my lost time. What a sad tale of woe I bear on my shoulders to-

#4- *whispering* I don't think anyone cares...)


	6. Lisanna becomes a boss

衣料品店で(at the clothing store)

"Wendy, I think this one would look totally cute on you!" I said, holding up a very light yellow dress that had a singular piece of fabric on the right shoulder, right above a shiny-looking thing.(an- here's the link[it's just the dress though]: . )

Charle looked horrified. "What do you take her for?" I pouted. "I just thought it looked like something I would wear." I muttered. "I'm kind of thinking that's what she wanted to avoid." Mirajane said sweetly. Erza pulled an even shorter white one with pinkish colors of polka dots on it(an- Yes, I am going to give you a link to every dress: . /_kY5WNu7XcU8/SRtMcGidJJI/AAAAAAAACd4/DpD-TE0M4-w/s400/party+ ). "What about this one?"

"THAT ONE IS WORSE!" Charle yelled. "Shush, Charle. You're going to make a scene." Wendy calmed. "And guys," Wendy addressed Erza and I, "I'm thirteen. Keep that in mind." Aww, I don't care that she's thirteen. She's so cute!

"Well, I'm not really sure this what you're looking for, but I think it would look good." Mira smiled and showed us a dress with short and a whole mish-mash of blues and browns with a little bow. (an- I keep my word: . )

Erza looked deep in thought. "However cute the dress may be," She said, "I think you should add a belt." Wendy smiled. "That would be wonderful!" Charle did her signature, "Hmmph", which I supposed meant she approved.

We walked to accessories. Erza looked at them for about five seconds before taking a brown leather one out with little colored studs(an- the belt, not the dress: . ). "I love it!" Wendy said. Mira smiled and said, "Now, what should we do for shoes?"

"I think some gladiators would suit Wendy more than anything. And they would go with the dress." I suggested. Mira, Erza, Wendy, and Charle stared at me in awe. "That was actually good fashion advice for a thirteen year old." Charle said. "Somehow, that offended me more than anything." I muttered to myself. This, was of course, ignored.

We browsed for a while. But, we unanimously agreed that we liked these the best(an- I don't even feel like describing them: . /_SczghthqN-I/Sdyyxa8mnXI/AAAAAAAABuU/LCNbp1Hi1xA/s400/brown+-+Irada+Gladiator+Sandals+ ). "I'll get Cancer to do your hair!" I said, wondering what Cancer would with Wendy and her freaky amount of hair. "Well, let's just go check out." Wendy said.

And apparently Erza comes here a lot, so the clerk was all like, "No pay for Ms. Scarlet!" I wonder how much stuff Erza has bought here for a clerk to have the authority to not charge us money. Although I did pay 4,000 jewel for that yellow dress. For me, of course.

We walked to Wendy's apartment and had her try on the clothes. She looked totally cute! We made the right decision in getting her the clothes that we did. "Gate of the Giant Crab, I open thee! Cancer!" I cried. Cancer came with his scissors, and snipped them once. "How shall I do your hair- ebi?" I told him, "It's not me today. Do her hair. Do whatever seems to go with the outfit." I indicated Wendy, who was waving nervously. "All right- ebi."

Cancer was so fast with Wendy's hair, I couldn't follow it with my eyes. He was snipping, and sometimes muttering, "Ebi." The whole process took about thirty seconds. But I have to say, the result was stunning. It was a simple waterfall braid, and it went great with Wendy's long, long hair. (an- in case you don't know what it is: . /3662/5753626705_e4cd91bf02_ ) Although I don't see why Cancer needed scissor for that.

I glanced at Wendy's wall clock. It read 2:47. "Ahhh! I need to pick up some ice cream and scoot on home!" I muttered. Mira looked at me. "What?" She said. "Nothing, Nothing..." I said, "I just need to go." Mira smiled, "Well, go and have fun!" She said.

I had a feeling she wanted to get rid of me.

Nonetheless, I sped to the store and picked up some ice cream. Chocolate. Yum. Ten gallons, I mean, I didn't know how long Lisanna was staying over. So I prepared for the worse.

I ran home in the rain, worrying that Lisanna would be mad at me for letting her stay out in the rain. Although, when I got to my apartment, Lisanna wasn't outside. I shrugged it off, thinking I would call her when I got inside.

But instead, I walked in to see Lisanna lounging on my couch, with my TV already on. I only sighed. Apparently Natsu had told her all the tricks to breaking and entering my home. "Hi Lucy! I came in through the window. Natsu told me it was the best way to come in." Lisanna said, cheerfully.

Yup.

"So, you can go ahead and pick out a movie," I said, taking some spoons out from a drawer in my kitchen. "Whoa..." I heard Lisanna say, "What's this?" She held up my new book I was writing, since I finished the other one. I screamed and snatched it out of her hands. "Don't go taking other people's things!"

Lisanna smiled apologetically. "Sorry. I'm to used to hanging out with Natsu, Mira-nee, and Elf-nii. They don't care one way or the other." She explained. I pursed my lips. "I bet they wouldn't." I said. "Anyways," She said brightly, "Let's watch some chick flicks!" I put on my game face. "Let's do it!"

Six hours, four movies, and five and half gallons of chocolate ice cream later, here we were: "I can't Nick cheated on Maxine with Lissa! Lissa doesn't deserve him! Max does! Max does!" Lisanna wailed. I sniffed, tears pouring out of my eyes in ridiculous amounts. "But at least Max moved out of Anne's house. She always was a shady character." I said.

"Aww. I liked Anne. She was so nice."

"And a traitor to Max! She told Lissa that Nick didn't love Max!"

"Aww. It was such a beautiful movie!" Lisanna bawled. We cried in each other's arms(an- and this, folks, is the closest I'm going to get yuri) until I heard a cheerful, "Luuuuuucyyyyyy!" Coming from my window.

I leaned away from Lisanna and wiped the tears from my face. "Natsu, I'm not in the mood." I said. I looked at his carefree face and foolish grin. I wonder how he would react when I told him I'm pregnant... "Oh, hi Lisanna!" Natsu noted, only noticing her now. She tried to smile and wave, but the effect was ruined by her red eyes.

"Whoa, what happened?" Natsu asked frowning. Happy just now flew in the window saying, "Naaatsuuu! Why did you leave without telling me where you're going?"

"Huh? I thought you knew where I was coming. We come here every night."

"But I didn't know!" Happy was just whining now. Lisanna perked up, as if she thought of something. "Happy," she said, "You and I should go. Lucy has something she wants to tell Natsu. Don't you Lucy?"

Crap.

Natsu frowned. Happy simply wailed, "But I just got here!" Lisanna gestured Happy over with her finger and whispered in his ear. Happy listened expressionlessly until Lisanna pulled away, and then he got an evil grin on his face. "Uh yeah, Lisanna and I are just gonna go..."

Lisanna and Happy exited my apartment and after the door was shut I heard Happy giggled madly, followed by a large crash, and then an, "Ow...". Natsu jumped down from my windowsill and asked, "What's up Lucy?"

(AN-

Me- *Okay, that is fairly reminiscent of James Patterson's Maximum Ride- School's Out Forever[amazing books by the way, I suggest you read]. And I don't own it, or it's characters!

Granny Kagura- Why do you have to say that stuff? I mean, we all know you aren't JP in disguise or anything.

Soul- Oh, Kagura...

Me- We all know that! It's just a formality!

Granny Kagura- Oh, umm...*trying not to look stupid* *failing*

Me- Granny Kagura, where have you been?

Soul- Seriously, you would you were raised by wolves or something.

Granny Kagura- I wasn't raised at all!

Me- And speaking of disclaimers, I forgot to do one at the beginning of this fic, didn't I? Well, I don't own Fairy Tail, or any of the characters. They all belong to Hiro Mashima.

Soul- See that Kagura? That's called a formality.

Granny Kagura- *sulks with #2, Fluffy, Miroku, and Kid*

Me- And if you don't get that, look at my bio. There's all sorts of fun stuff there!

Norma- Hiiiii!

Me- Oh, but I do own Norma.

Soul- I would rather own Fairy Tail.

Me- Psht. N00b.)


	7. They know

Chapter 8

Lucy's apartment

"What's up Lucy?" Natsu asked. I grinned awkwardly, and laughed the strangest noise I had ever heard emanate from my mouth. Natsu frowned at me. "You're weird, Lucy." he said. He said that so often, it was getting old.

"So, what did you want to tell me?" Natsu asked easily. 'I didn't want to tell you...' I thought, annoyed at Lisanna. Then I got nervous and started hyperventilating, like I was playing Oregon Trail 2, or something. (me- Good, God. I don't even want to talk about it.

Granny Kagura- Today, she played a game where her party was me, Soul and Norma.

Me- Noooo... Don't tell them-

Granny Kagura- We all died. Except her.

Me- But- but-

Granny Kagura- I died from burns because she thought I was being a pansy and could deal with it.

Me- Hey, I gave you aloe and everything. Its your fault you didn't get better after I gave the right treatment.

Granny Kagura- You should've just waited for that prairie fire to stop!

Me- Norma and Soul didn't get burned!

Granny Kagura- But you let poor Soul die of cholera!

Me- I didn't even know he had it! It's almost as bad as you get mauled by bears or mountain lions or somethings.

Granny Kagura- What about Norma? You knew she had Typhoid Fever.

Me- But the guide didn't tell how to treat it.

Granny Kagura- excuses, excuses...

Me- You know what, I need to keep writing! BTW, I'm kinda thinking about writing a fic about Natsu, Lucy and the rest of Fairy Tail going on the Oregon Trail. I'm not that sure, but if they do resort to cannibalism, they'll eat Cana[forever alone]. If you're interested, check out my bio.)

"Well, Lucy," Natsu said, "If you aren't going to tell me, I'll leave." He stuck out his thumb and motioned towards the window. I sighed. I really needed to pull an Uncle Vernon on that window. But, be that as it may, this calmed down and made me say, "No, Natsu. Just sit down."

He plopped down on the couch Lisanna and I had probably stained forever with chocolate ice cream and tears. I sat down next to him. "How do you feel about, erm, kids?" I asked awkwardly. Natsu got a big grin. "I love kids! They're so much more fun than the rest of you!" Ouch, that stung. Well... At least he likes them.

"And what about marriage and s***?"(an-Long story short, my sister and I concluded that if you end every sentence with "and s***", you sound like a BAMF. Examples, "Mom, I need to go to library and s***!" "I'll take the wood-grilled steak and s***." "Santa, can I get dolly and s***?")

"Umm... I've never really thought about it. Can we get to the point?"

Okay, I guess this wasn't the most graceful thing in the world, but I pulled up the t-shirt I was wearing, pointed at my abdomen, and yelled, "PREGNANT!"

Natsu only stared at me blankly. "Huh?" He said. I grabbed his shoulders and looked him in the eye. "You're gonna be a daddy." Confusion stole over his face, then horror, which was quickly erased by his typical competitive face. "All right! I'm all fired up now!(me-eep!) I'm gonna be a way better father than everyone! Especially Gray!" He then fell about laughing about how much he would kick Gray's a**. But, Gray doesn't even have a girlfriend. How was he gonna have a child soon enough to compete with Natsu?(an- okay, maybe some kind of something will happen to Gray... But I don't know.)

"Lucy." I jumped about a foot in the air, hearing Natsu's voice completely calm and collected. "When is it going to come out? Is it gonna be a boy or a girl? Man, I can't decided which one I would-"

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait. First things first, didn't Erza already have this talk with you? Second, we could have Cana do her little card-y thing-"

Cana POV

I set down my barrel. "I think someone didn't properly respect my form of magic." I muttered. "What?" Wakaba asked. "Nothing... Nothing...". I resumed with my barrel.

Lucy POV

"-and third, you aren't phased by this at all? Really?"

"Nope."

Okay, Natsu was never one to lie, like, ever. Nonetheless, I carefully studied his face. Not one sign of fright. Dang, I made the right choice by getting knocked up by him. Wait, what did I just-

"Oh! Lucy!"

"What?"

"Aren't moms and dads supposed to be married?"

"Um, well..." This was probably the most awkward conversation I've had with Natsu.

"Whatever! Lucy, will you marry me?"

I screeched a bit. I'm not gonna lie.

"Whoa! Slow down! Where did that come out of?"

"Well, since I don't want our child to be a bastard child-"

"You're the one who knocked me up, you know!"

"Let's get married!" I don't think he heard me. I just stared at him for a while, though. He started to look uncomfortable, and he said impatiently, "Well?"

"Um, okay." Man, don't I deserve a pat on the back? "Um, okay."? That was totally romantic. And I guess this tear and ice-cream stained couch was too.

Natsu jumped up on the couch. "All right! I got the prettiest girl in Fiore to marry me, and an equally pretty baby coming! What else could I ask for?"

Um... Maybe for us to be older or something? This to have been planned better? I don't know... Maybe the marriage caused the baby, and the baby not cause the marriage? Or maybe I'm just funny that way. Well, I guess this turned out okay. Better than I thought- I felt Natsu's arms close around me. I turned so I was facing him, feeling my face flush.

He looked down into my eyes, and I saw tears of joy in them, and the smile on his face just made it all the better. I felt myself smiling, and tears welled up in my eyes as well. "I'm so happy, Lucy." He said. "I am, if you are." I responded.

He pressed his lips against mine, and I felt the tears roll down our faces as we closed our eyes. But this time, we were happy. Happy tears were nice. We pulled away, and I took my hand from Natsu's neck, to wipe the tears from his face. He was just... so perfect for me. I love him, plain and simple. No buts or only when's. I love him even when he does stupid things. I'm so happy we found each other.

He grinned his trademark grin and said, "You're the best! I love you so much!" I smiled back. "I love you too."

(an- awww, wouldn't that be such a great place to end a chapter? Not today! We can all rejoice and be happy!

Granny Kagura- Well-

Me- I never count you.

*pause*

Soul- Need some ice for that burn?

Granny Kagura- Shut-

Norma- Yo momma so fat, that when she walks in front of the TV, you miss three episodes.

Soul and Granny Kagura- *stares*

Me- Man, I should really monitor what she looks at online.

Granny Kagura- But I don't even have a mother!

Me, Soul, and Norma- *giggle immaturely*

Granny Kagura- Oh yeah, reeeeaall mature.)

(at the guild hall)

Lucy POV

"I can't believe I let you do this to me." I said, pouting as I walk next to Natsu into guild hall. "Well, we don't keep secrets from family."(an- lol, when I typed that, at first I said "seacrests". Yup. I totally hold Ryan Seacrest and his clones hostage in my basement and tell my family about it. Defs yes.)

I made a fart noise.

When we walked in, we greeted by happy choruses of "Hey Natsu!" and "Hey Lucy!", and someone(I think it was Cana) yell, "Lovebirds in the house!" Which resulted in drunk peals of laughter from too many immature mouths.

I'm totally above that. I just let that fart noise slip that one time.

Natsu pulled me by the hand to go stand on the bar. I wanted to die of shame. I slipped down to hide behind the bar, still holding Natsu's hand, squeezing it very hard. "Hey guys!" Natsu yelled Everyone turned toward Natsu, and the noise dimmed down somewhat. "Lucy's preggers and we're getting married!"

This was quietest I've ever heard the bar. But, one whistle cut through the silence(I think this was Cana too). Fortunately, this gave way to many cheers and a lot of laughter. Unfortunately, this meant I had to get out and accept people's congratulations.

Juvia seemed especially happy, and she treated me very cold or suspiciously ever again. I guess I was no longer considered a romantic rival. Thank the lord. I also think that accompanied the lack of dirt I found in my underwear drawer as well.

I received several especially warm hugs from Gray and Mira. Elfman told us what men we were. Bisca gave me great advice, as a fellow bride of Fairy Tail. "Just let them do what they want. There's no way getting around it, anyhow." Even Gajeel and Laxus were around to tell give us nods from the back. I think I even heard Macao laugh, "Better start knitting now!" (an- No way. Lucy's too legit to knit. Crocheters rule!).

I started to hear Levy and Mira start to plan various parties that went along with this life-altering statement. So, naturally, I ran away to where Cana sat. She motioned for me to bring Natsu as well. She set down her barrel.

"Hey, guys. Congrats, I guess." She said. I nodded, trying to stop Natsu from punching in Gray's face for who-knows-what reason. "Natsu," Cana called, "Want me to find out if it's a boy or a girl?"

He whirled. "Yeah, do it!"

(line break)

We waited in steep anticipation. It was a while before Cana looked up and said, "Well..." We leaned forward. "It's twins! One boy and one girl!" (an- Doesn't everyone just love my cute indecisiveness?) She said. Natsu turned around and repeated the news to the crowd, who cheered in response.

Okay, maybe this wasn't so bad after all. "By the way, are Wendy and Romeo still out?" I asked Cana, who nodded.

(an- So I'm pretty sure we all got annoyed at some point by my ramblings. Oh well... And the next chapter is gonna be the RoWen date, so feel free to skip it if you don't care.

Granny Kagura- Can I skip it?

Me- No.

Granny Kagura- Why?

Me- Because I said so. [and a hearty hello to all my fellow stubborners out there. Go Tauruses!]

Granny Kagura- Can I skip the chapter after that, then?

Me- No.

Granny Kagura- I'll break Oregon Trail if you don't let me.

Me- *le gasp* You wouldn't.

Granny Kagura- I would.

Ryan Seacrests in the basement- She would!

Me- Why are they there now? Did I just pull a Haruhi Suzumiya? Dang, I'm good.

Soul- I doubt it.

Norma- Hiiiiii!

Granny Kagura- So is that a yes?

Me- ...Fine. But I hate you. Make me some bacon, Breccan!

Breccan- Anything for you!

Me- Oh yeah, I have a fake boyfriend now too! I combined the character of Fang, Gale, Rhett Butler, InuYasha, Kyon, Koizumi, Ed, Al, Mustang, Ling, Natsu, Gray, Jellal, and a hint of Iggy to make my perfect boyfriend.

Soul- You obsess over way too many things.

Me- You almost made the cut.

Granny Kagura- That's really creepy.

Soul- Can I sleep with the Seacrests tonight?

Me- But-but you're assigned to room with Norma!

Soul- She'll just have to sleep with Kagura tonight. Because I thin you're gonna creep on me. The Seacrests will hide me.

Norma- Yaaaaaay!

Granny Kagura- Nooooooo!


	8. Ice cubes in the milk

(at Le Café Belle)

Wendy POV

My heart was going thumpity-thump and my face was as red as it ever was. Yes folks, it's me, the most awkward teenager on the planet. On a date. With a guy. With abs.

I hope he wasn't wearing his vest tonight. As absolutely beautiful his abs are, I felt really shy around guys with their shirts off. Unless we're swimming or something, then that's completely different. But that reason is also why you don't see me hanging around Gray for more than five minutes at a time. I would be redder than Rudolph.

I looked down at my own outfit. The dress was cute, but I was starting to have some doubts about the belt. Did it make it look like I was trying too hard? Or did Romeo like things like that? How am I supposed to know? I joined the guild when he was like, six or whatever and I've only known him as my own age for what, a year? Three quarters of a year? I don't even know.

Oh great, now my palms are sweaty. What if he holds my hand? He's done that before, but my palms haven't been this sweaty before. And why was this date more important than all the others? What made it different. Was it the fact it was at the most high-end restaraunt in town?

How did Romeo get this much money? Was he saving up to take me here? That would be very romantic, but it didn't seem like something that would happen. Especially for me. I'm surprised that I got this far in a relationship. I mean, I just-

"Wendy?" I jumped about a foot in the air. I turned, my face very red, to see Romeo there. Good, he wasn't wearing his vest. He was wearing an untucked white dress shirt with a bow-tie(an-Romeo wears a bow tie now. Bow ties are cool ;D), and black dress pants. I had to say, he looked messily cute.

I grinned awkwardly and said, surprisingly steady, "You ready to go?" He nodded and smiled. We fell in side by side walking to Le Café Belle. I looked at the ground and talked to Romeo about several mundane topics such as Cana's plan to get a haircut, who would cut the grass at the guild, everyone's drinking habits(they didn't even touch on Cana's; that subject had been beat to death already), and the like.

Finally, we arrived at the front door. It was more beautiful than I ever remember, or maybe I was just hopped up on hormones. But, unfortuneately, I had to look up at Romeo which caused my slowly fading blush to jump right back out on me.

Luckily, I saw Romeo's face was also reddening, which made me feel less awkward to know that I wasn't the only awkward child here. He opened the door for me, but when I saw there was another door, separating the resteraunt and the foyer(question- do you say it foy-ER, or foy-YAY?), I opened that for him, and we laughed about it. New cheesiness level achieved. Give me a prize.

The guy at the front, looked at us funny, but when he saw my guild mark, he just sighed and shook his head. "Table for two, please." Romeo told him. The guy said, "Right this way." We followed him. He was a tall, skinny blonde with mean eyes. I saw his name was "Ichabod". Due to my knowledge of literature, this made me smirk.

Ichabod led us to the back part of the resteraunt that overlooked the river. There was iron twisted in intricate patterns all over the place, with twinkling lights on the said iron. It was really pretty. Ichabod set our two menus on a table right next to the river. There was no one else on the deck-place thing.

Ichabod bustled off to seat some trendy couple or whatever, leaving us alone next to the river. "Wow," I said, dazzled by the beauty of the place, "This is amazing!" Romeo grinned shyly, and rubbed the back of his head. "You really like it?" He asked.

"Of course! It's absolutely gorgeous!"

"Thanks." We looked at the moon over the water and the stars in the sky. There were some guys in a boat, floating down the river. They yelled, "Have fun kids!" When we didn't answer, they just roared with laughter. I couldn't help but grin as well.

"Well, what are you going to order?" Romeo asked. I looked hastily down at the menu and said, "Ummm... The shrimp with the cocktail sauce? No, the lobster bisque. Wait, um, lasagna primavera? Um-" He cut me off, saying, "I'm getting the spaghetti and meatballs." His voice cleared my mind, and I said, "Sorry. I guess I'll get the shrimp."

"Hey," he whispered, "Just before I left the guild," I leaned in, knowing I would get a good bit of gossip by his tone of voice. "Happy and Lisanna came into the guild, and they told me something you're not gonna believe." He said. I leaned in, and our faces were only about six inches apart, but I didn't realize. "Well, Lisanna said-"

"Hello. I'm Craig, and I'll be your server tonight." We jumped apart. I turned to see a slightly chubby guy with a receding hairline and a beard standing next to our table. He looked nicer than Ichabod, anyways. (an- That Craig guy, I based of a youtuber, 'wheezywaiter'. I highly suggest you look him up).

"Are you ready to order?" Craig asked. "Uh yeah... I guess we are." I said, and looked at Romeo. He nodded. Craig took out his notepad. "What'll it be?" He asked. He seemed bored. "The shrimp thing with the sauce." I said. He wrote and it down and when he looked up, Romeo said, "The spaghetti and meatballs."

Craig wrote that down as well, and asked, "Anything to drink?" Uh-oh. I hadn't thought of that. "The half lemonade, and half iced-tea." Romeo said. "And a glass of milk for me." I said. "All right. Tonight is a bit slow, so you should get your food in a short time." Craig said, picking up our menus.

Once he was safely inside, I said to Romeo, "All right, what did Lisanna say?" Romeo looked around, but said in a normal voice, "Well, apparently, Lucy's pregnant."

"No!"

"Yes! I couldn't believe it myself. But I guess it was just a matter of time."

"But still, they're only eighteen. And you think they should married first."

"Let's be serious, Wendy. Although his childish demeanor, Natsu is actually normal and I'm pretty there's nothing wrong with his, erm, sexual attraction to women."

That was a weird thought. I couldn't imagine Natsu doing anything, um, impure. He was just such a good person! "They're still so young! They could've at least paid attention to protection." I whispered the word "protection". I grew ever blushier, and I was glad to see Romeo was as well. Sex was just something that everyone at Fairy Tail just didn't talk about.

"But, we don't want this getting out. Can you imagine how embarrassed Lucy would be? Sorcerer Weekly would just love this." Romeo said. I nodded in agreement. If, God forbid, I ever found myself in the same situation, the last I would want is Jason screaming, "COOOOOOL!" at the baby moving and asking to touch my stomach.

And just thinking about how many navel-bearing shirts Lucy had made cringe. That would suck big time for her. "Here are your drinks." I looked around to see Craig with our drinks. "One Arny P, and one milk." He set them on the table. "Your meal will be out shortly."

He stalked off, and I looked at my milk. And to my horror, there were ice cubes in my milk. In my milk! That was just gross! I mean, I wanted to be tall and everything(an-not short? Lol, FMA reference), but ice cubes in milk was just wrong.

"Look, they put ice cubes in my milk." I said, and pushed my glass towards Romeo so he could see. "So they did," He said, "Just throw them in the river. It's just water." I looked at him oddly. "No way. What if someone in there looked out the window to see a bunch of ice cubes flying into the river." I insisted.

"Oh my gosh, Wendy. No one will notice. I would do it myself, but that'd be gross. Just do it."

I mustered a shy little smile. "All right." I said. I stuck my hand in the cold milk, and drew out the three ice cubes. I then tossed them in the river, and smiled wider. "See? It wasn't that bad?" Romeo said. I beamed at him

Craig POV(what?)

I watched the two kids eat on the porch. The bluenette was throwing her ice cubes in the river. I made an evil face. I put ice cubes in her milk just to troll her. It was suggested by the King of Trolls himself, Hiro Mashima. He's the greatest troll of all time. I wish I was as good of a troll as him.

The girl was in Fairy Tail, but I didn't know about the boy. Although he did have a nice troll face, and knew about Fairy Tail gossip, so it was safe to assume he was in that guild as well.

I'd heard their conversation about this "Lucy". I'd seen her participate in The Grand Magic Games. And she was pregnant? I think Sorcerer Weekly would pay good money for a story of that magnitude. A star of Fairy Tail, with its newly regained fame, was pregnant? I mean, I was troll.

"Craig! Back to work!" My boss yelled. I sighed. I guess I would have to troll different customers now.

Wendy POV

All in all, the date was really fun. Romeo and I ate and chatted for a good two hours, but time flies when you're having fun, right?

"It's almost 9 o'clock, we should be heading back." He said, looking at his watch. "Whoa. That went quick." I said. I didn't want this night to end.

We stood up. Romeo left the money on the table, while I tipped Craig 1000 jewel*. He was a good waiter, he deserved it (an-lol!). We pushed in our chairs and took one last look at the river. The moonlight was shimmering on the slow moving surface, as well as all the stars in the sky. I felt Romeo grab my hand. I squeezed it to let him know that I approved.

We walked out of the resteraunt hand in hand. Now, we weren't saying anything, we were just enjoying each others company. And I thought that was just fine. Finally, I asked him, "Do you want to go back to the guild?" He nodded. Good. I wanted an excuse to spend more time with him.

However, when we reached The Park(an- I can't remember the name. Wasn't it South something?), I stopped him. "Thank you for tonight," I started, turning red, "I really had a good time." And, in an amazing bout of courage, I kissed Romeo's cheek.

He just looked in my eyes, then at lips. I started to feel uncomfortable, but then he took my face in his hands, and kissed me. Right on the mouth. I was shocked at first, and I was certain that Romeo could just feel the heat radiating from my face. But then, I got into it.

It was a slow, loving kiss, a great first kiss if I do say so myself. When we broke apart, Romeo said, "We should do this again." I smiled. He was so great! How did I ever meet such a nice guy?

When we got back to the guild, it was more alive than usual. "What's going on?" I asked. Romeo shrugged. So, we went inside.

(an-*Okay, whenever you hear me talk about jewel, I'm either going by the dollar to yen google converter, or the fact Mashima said in the first volume that jewel is basically yen, and that yen is 100 yen to one American dollar. So, Wendy tipped Craig about ten dollars. Sense make?

Granny Kagura- You're not Yoda.

Soul- You haven't even seen Star Wars.

Me- Neither have you two. And I did sit through like the first hour episode 4 I think it was. I'm not even going to pretend I know about Star Wars. And I picked that "sense make" up from my awesomesauce science teacher.

Soul- Can I go to school with you?

Me- Lol, no.

Granny Kagura- Why can't he?

Me- I can think at least one fangirl that would attack you on sight. A fangirl even more rabid than myself.

Soul and Granny Kagura- O_o

Me- I think I've mentioned her before.

Granny Kagura- Maybe it was in Two Souls.

Soul- Or your bio.

Me- And for all y'all folks new to le Master's adventures, check out my bio. You would understand me so much better. I apologize in advance about the lack of new paragraphs. I put it in with paragraphs, but it didn't work. I'll try to figure that out.

Granny Kagura- She probably won't.

Norma- Hiiiii!

Me- Yeah, probably not for a long time.

Soul- Lazy.

Me- Well, I-

Soul- Just don't even try.

Me- :( Yeah, you're probably right

Breccan- I'll love you anyways, Sweetums!

Me- I appreciate it, but don't call me Sweetums.

Breccan- How about My Queen?

Soul-Too formal

Me- Can you call me Alicia Keys?

Granny Kagura and Soul- ?

Breccan- Um, only if I get the extra bacon next time.

Me- Lol, silly Breccan. There's never any extra bacon!)


	9. Downsizing

Chapter 9

Lucy POV

I woke up in my bed with Natsu's arms wrapped around me. I lay like that for a while. It felt nice and warm. That's one of the reasons I loved Natsu. He was always so warm. It felt nice to have a heater that you could snuggle with in bed with you.

Then I looked at the light slanting in the room. It was really bright. I reached for my handy dandy smart phone on its customary spot on my night stand. I looked at the date and time. Wednesday December 19, 785. 11:26 a.m.

"Natsu! Get up! Its eleven thirty!" I yelled at him. "What's so important about eleven thirty?" He asked, groggily. I pushed his scarf aside, and poked the side of his neck like I knew he didn't like. He jumped about a foot in the air and out of my bed.

"Whoa! It's eleven thirty!" He exclaimed, sitting on the floor. We were still in our clothes from last night. "You better go home and change." I told him, already looking for outfit of the day. "I'll wait for you so we can go together." He said, while picking himself up and dusting himself off.

"It might be a while. I'll have to shower and everything."

"All right."

I was once again stunned by his utter dedication. "Just don't come in when I'm changing."

"I've already seen you naked, Luce."

"That doesn't mean it isn't awkward!"

He shuffled out of the door saying, "Yeah whatever."

(line break)

So I showered, got dressed and stuff. Natsu wasn't waiting in my bedroom, as a pleasant surprise. I wore a Heart Kreuz t-shirt with my knee-length shorts(an- my favorite of Lucy's outfits. Also least, erm, revealing to put it nicely).

I walked into my living to see Natsu reading my book. "AGH! LUCY KICK!" I screamed. I got him right in the cheek. "Ow." He said, dully. He rubbed his cheek. "You ready?" I asked. "Yeah." He pouted. We walked out the door, holding hands.

Now the winter ball was on Friday the 21st. The Winter Solstice. That's when the snow fell in Magnolia. So naturally, Fairy Tail had another party. Except, this was an exclusively wizard party. And we were actually supposed dress nicely. Black-tie formal. It was insane. Although this was technically my first time going...

This morning, I had looked at my maroon dress. It was threadbare and torn in some places due to all the ordeals it had survived. I could get a new one from online, but the ball would've already happened by the time it arrived. So, I'd have to go and buy one. Ugh. I guess I should do that today. Soon enough Natsu would ask that age old question- "Hey Lucy!" Natsu asked.

"Yeah?"

"Let's go on a job. Just a short one before the ball!"

Yup. There it was. This is where I started whining. "The ball's only two days away. We can go after!"

"But I want to go now!"

"But I have to get new dress! I also want to insert time for erm, uh..." Good God, how did I put this? "For uh, reading up on... Uh... Pregnancy and s***..." (an- now doesn't that sound BA?)

This seemed to work, because Natsu then exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I forgot!"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU FORGOT?"

This went unheard. I believe Natsu might be suffering from Selective Hearing-syndrome. Along with everybody else I know. "I can't have you going on missions! What if something happens?" He said to himself.

I was honestly touched. But, something about this statement bothered me. "I could go on a mission if I wanted to." I said, offhandedly, as if it didn't matter. Natsu just stared at me, horrified. "But, something might happen!"

Natsu was never one to worry much. But I wasn't gonna let this here ijjut(an- Meruvian for idiot. Meruvian is the language of my plant, M1526. The capitol city is Meru. I share it with #2. And we aren't above capital punishment, so watch your back) win this argument. "So what if something happens to me? Something might've happened to me on any of our other missions." I defiantly told him, my teenage girl coming out.

"Well, I'm more worried now." Natsu said, as if it made perfect sense. Then a very horrible and mean idea came to mind. I'll hate myself for the next nine months. Good god.

"Yeah, I guess you would be more worried. But, I'll only get bigger and bigger, and enemies will realize that I'm an easier target. I don't think I should go on any missions while I'm pregnant." I said, somewhat guiltily. I didn't like mooching, but that was overpowered by my astounding laziness.

"Oh, you're right! But what will you do while I'm gone?"

"I can read about pregnancy, I can buy stuff for a child, I can hang out with Mira, I can write my book, I can make wedding plans, I can attend the numerous parties held in our honor, I can go dress shopping, I can-"

"I think you'll be plenty busy." Natsu said, sounding convinced. I nodded. But one thing bothered me.

"But you will stay until after the ball, right?" I asked, scrutinizing him. I really did want him to stay.

"But I'll get so bored!"

"I'm here!"

"I'll still get bored!"

Oh, um. Wow. I guess.

"Well, um. Never mind then." I said. We walked in silence for a while, but another thought crossed my mind.

"Hey, now that we're getting married and having children, shouldn't we, like, I don't know, live together?"

"Oh yeah. I haven't thought about that. So whose house should live in?"

"Hmmm... Mine is just an apartment... I have to pay a monthly rent..."

"My house then?"

I looked at him funny. I've never really been to his house. Okay, that one time when I stalked him(an- OVA 4 reference). I guess it would be more practical. It was sad leaving my apartment, though. I was going to miss it, although I still needed to Uncle Vernon my windows. Although, that wouldn't be necessary now.

I'm really growing up now, aren't I? Those days when Natsu climbed through my window, and I would be angry about were almost at an end. I didn't like the feeling that I was aging. I felt like crying, but I figured that would be stupid. I guess my "growing up" phase would be over soon. I'm becoming an adult. I mean, seriously. I'm engaged with a baby on the way. It was really overwhelming, and I'm only 18.

"Yeah, your house," I consented. I grabbed Natsu's hand tighter, wanting to hold onto the childhood that was floating away so soon.

(line break)

So, Natsu and I decided to move all of my things to his house in the two days preceding the ball. It wouldn't be hard; I mostly had only clothes.

When, I got to his house, however, the place was dumped again, even since the last time I had been here and cleaned it. So, Natsu, Happy and I spent the morning cleaning, so we could fit my meager possessions somewhere. To my relief, Natsu and Happy did not share a room. The house was a bit small, but it was cute. Natsu said that I could get Laki(since she has wood magic) to make the attic into two separate bedrooms for our children that would obviously need them.

So, I went up into the attic. It was a bit dusty(okay, maybe really dusty), but nothing was up there. I didn't really think Natsu and Happy spent much time here, anyways.

Natsu said that their "Natsu and Happy" sign out front, wouldn't be right anymore. This was obviously correct, but I think they would be too upset if it were thrown out. I said they should keep it as wall art. They had a fireplace, so I suggested they put it above that. They both seemed glad with said arrangement.

But I did take all of Natsu's belongings from missions and stuffed them in our room. I let the job board he had stay. I thought when our kids were old enough, they could put their jobs on it too. It was a really sad and nostalgic experience.

We were at the guild hall now, though. We were having a good laugh with Wendy, Erza and Gray, and then I saw the scariest sight ever. In my whole entire life. And this includes everything pictured in the show.

Mira and Levy with a notebook. I looked on my sides. Gray was on my left and Natsu was on my right. No clean escape. The enemy was approaching quickly with their grins increasing in size and a carnal desire to waste my afternoon. I pushed on Natsu.

He looked at me good-naturedly, and asked, "What is it?"

But by then it was too late. The enemy had arrived. I lost(an-Ugh, I hate everything. And I lost). "Hey guys," Levy said, "Can we borrow Lucy?"

"Yeah, sure!" Natsu said, standing up. I didn't move. I looked at my feet in hopes that no one would notice my presence. But since my friends were gifted with the sense of sight, I wasn't that lucky.

"We're gonna go shopping!" Mira said.

"I was busy today." I retorted, hoping this would discourage them from bringing me with. I looked at Natsu, hoping he would step in for me.

"It's okay, Luce! We can move you tomorrow!" He grinned and waved. I glared darkly at him. Levy grabbed my wrist. "C'mon! We're going DRESS SHOPPING!" She said in a sing-song voice.

(an- Lol, poor Lucy. I'm gonna steal a plot from any Say Yes to the Dress episode. Lucy finds a dress she likes, friends don't like it, Lucy gets friends to like it, out of their budget, gets it anyways. Yup.

Soul- But I love that show!

Me, Granny Kagura, and Breccan- *stares*

Granny Kagura- Why?

Soul- *sulking with #2, Fluffy, Miroku, and Kid* You just don't love me for who I am.

Me- *teary eyed* It's okay, Soul-y! I'll send you off to Maka for 2 chapters!

Soul- You're a wonderful person, Master!

Me- You're very welcome!

Me and Soul- Hug

Granny Kagura- So who's gonna replace Soul. Short-term, though, of course.

Me- Lingy! Duh!

Granny Kagura- Ling from Fullmetal Alchemist?

Me- You bet your biscuits! Now, I have some flight plans to make. Oh, BTW, I'm thinking about making a fic about all those Fairy Tail characters dropped into the American Civil War. And since I'm still on a bit of a Gone With the Wind kick, they will be Southerners. Flames welcome and appreciated. They show me you have morals and care about people enslaving other people. I think the people who flame are actually the nicest people. Well, on this anyways. I'm up for a political discussion. If you care enough to join.

Breccan- I can discuss politics with you.

Me- But you're imaginary.

Breccan- I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT!

Me- FACE REALITY, BRECS! YOURE JUST A FIG NEWTON OF MY IMAGINATION!)

(after note- I realize I posted this in one night, but I was writing it all summer, so I congratulate you for making it this far)


	10. Pwetty Dwesses

I honestly tried. I wanted this to be fun. Mira and Levy were two of my best friends, and I was shopping for one of the happiest occasions likely ever to happen in my life. But, as I'm sure you might've guessed, it didn't quite work out that way.

It was painful. Literally, physically painful.

"But, I was gonna spend today with Natsu." I whined, as we walked down the street to the place where we were going shopping.

"Believe me, you'll have plenty of time for that after you get married. Do you have a date set? It would be nice to know how big you'll be." Levy told me. I though about it. Maybe June or July would be nice. And since now was late December, I guess I would be due in late September. I would be pretty big in June and July. And don't twins like make you bigger than if you only have one? I wouldn't be able to wear a like a mermaid or a trumpet or anything like that. That was okay.

I liked the look of an a-line dress for pregnant women. And I guess I was included among them. "Maybe June or July..." I said, dismissively.

"So like six or seven months." Levy figured, "Not so late, that you'll be worried about your water breaking like the next day or something, but late enough to a have a cute bump. These maternity pictures need to go on pinterest. I mean, weddings and pregnant women! What else do they want?"

"The Doctor or Tom Hiddleston." Mira said wisely, to which Levy and I nodded solemnly. Doctor Who, weddings, and maternity pictures are the trifecta of pinterest. You can add in some Loki fan girls too. We stayed quiet for a while, contemplating the complexity of the women on pinterest, and the even deeper complexity of the men.

Mira and Levy stopped walking, and I bumped into them. I looked at the store. The sign read- "Gleinfeld: Magnolia Branch" (an-wha...?). It looked very expensive.

"I don't have a lot of money on me. Only about 4500 jewel*. Defs not enough for a dress" I told my companions. They looked at each other. "We'll pay the rest." Mira said, after a few seconds of whispering on their part.

Whoa. That was really nice.

"Consider it an early present." Levy assured, "Well we have an appointment with Nikesha(an- wha[Say Yes to the Dress]Wha...?) like right now, so let's go."

We walked through the front doors to see a ridiculously plush lobby and tons of pretty dresses everywhere. I saw a mermaid-y one that I thought would be cute on someone, but I couldn't put my finger on who.

"Which one of you is Lucy?" I looked to see a nice-looking black lady with her long hair pulled back in a high ponytail going halfway down her back. She wore a black turtle neck sweater. I put up my hand.

"I am." I said, with a smile. "Hi! I'm Nikesha! I'll be your dress consultant today. So, who do you have with you today?" She said, as if it had been scripted(an- What? They don't script that...).

"My friends, Mira and Levy."

"Oh! You must be from Fairy Tai!" She exclaimed, taking note of the mark on my hand, "Congratulations on the games*!"

"Thank you." I said, flatly. This topic had already been beat to death. Don't beat corpses. It's just wrong. Metaphorically and literally. "Well, what is your budget for today?" Nikesha asked, with some sort of forced politeness. God, I would hate this job.

"Umm..." I looked at Mira and Levy. "200,000(about 2,000 US dollars) jewel." The lady looked at us, like we were cheap or something. I mean, seriously? Dresses cost more than 200000 that's stupid! That's more than my rent every month! Oh wait, I don't have rent anymore. I can buy things I want! But a ridiculously expensive dress is defs not included.

"Well, is there anything you had in mind, style-wise?" She asked, politely. A little too politely. "I was thinking an a-line," I said. "Because I'm pregnant." Was added hastily at the end, due to Nikesha's skeptical look. I really would want a princess dress if I wasn't pregnant. All big and floofy.

"All right, when are planning on having the wedding?" She asked. "June or July." I said.

"Right this way." She said, and motioned for us to follow. She brought us down a long hallway in which trendy women who were older than we were. And probably richer.

"You girls can wait out here," Nikesha said, and pointed to Mira and Levy. "You can come with me in the changing room and tell me about yourself."

We walked in an equally over-the-top room, where she told me to sit down and tell her about myself. Oh god, where do I start. I figured I wouldn't include anything before he grand magic games, probably not even that. "Have you ever heard of Salamander of Fairy Tail?" I asked her. I guess I would tell her who the happy father was.

"Of course. He was great in the games!"

"Well, he's my fiancé and baby-daddy."

"Oh..." I'm not sure she knew what to say. "I like his hair." She decided.

"Yeah, his hair is nice." I agreed. There was a pause. "Where are you going to have the wedding?" She asked.

"Umm... We haven't discussed it yet. Probably at the guild hall." I said. "Okay, I'll go pick out some dresses. You can go talk to your friends." Nikesha said.

Well, I probably would've anyways.

So far, this has not been fun. It was super awkward, and I think everyone was looking at us weird, like, "What are these teenagers doing here?"

The conversation with Mira and Levy did not go much better.

"Well," Mira said, her social graces escaping her, "Um..." I just want to go back. But it has to be done.

I won't bore you with the details, but in the end, it was a boring and awkward trip, the likes of which I do not want to repeat.

Well, in the end, I got this dress for 98,000 jewel. (replace *** with com:

.*** )

I'm just glad I got that over with.

*45 American dollars

(an- Okay, I'm just gonna say it straight out: That sucked. It had potential to be a great chapter. I let myself down. I decided to not torture you any longer and just finish it off where I did.

Ling- What? Why am I here? How did get here?

Me- Shut up, Lingy. I'm not in the mood to be funny. This is a depressing time for me.

Ling- Geez, I thought I would just stick to the script you gave me.

Granny Kagura- Yeah. This was kind of a waste of time.

Me- Blah, blah. I'll write again when I'm night-high. That's when I'm at my funniest. I was writing this in the morning.

Norma- Hiiiii!

Me- Well, merry Chrismahannakwanzika. This gift sucked.

Granny Kagura- Yeah, it did.

Me- Blegh.)

(BTW- I figured I'd just get this out there. I'd tell you eventually. My first name is Megan, #1 is Mallory, #2 is Maison, #3 is Hannah, and #4 is Piper. You'd find out sooner or later.)


	11. Gajeel is a tard-brick

Lucy POV

Oh, thank the lord that the dress ordeal is over. Now I get to spend the rest of the night with Natsu. The date and time is wednesday, December 19, 8:32 PM. I still have awhile to have fun. I guess buying a dress for the ball would have to wait.

I hurried back to the guild, and everyone was still there, drinking up a storm. I called the smell of the guild hall the three Bs: Booze, blood(like from the bar fights), and body odor. It smelled so familiar. It smelled like a place I could call home. Not that the scent was particularly pleasant.

I was greeted with several, "Hey Lucy!"s, and I smiled and said hello. I then felt someone, Gray, grab my arm and say, "Look at him! He challenged Cana to a drinking match!" He pointed at Gajeel, who was barreling down the alcohol like it was water. Wait, scratch that, barreling down the alcohol like it was air.

I laughed. We only knew of one person who could beat Cana at drinking, and that was Bacchus of Quatro Cerberus. Gajeel certainly was not Bacchus. "Why would he?" I laughed.

"I bet Cana was taunting him." Gray said, "Iron- brain." It was a fond insult, if that made any sense.

Although, Natsu and Gajeel did seem alike. Natsu did not take to taunts kindly. Poor Gajeel, he'd have a massive hangover in the morning.

Gray and I joined Natsu, Happy, Erza, Wendy, Charle, Juvia, Lily, Lisanna, and Elfman watching the show. It didn't take very long at all. Gajeel was knocked out cold. Cana's cheeks weren't even red and she was steady on her feet as ever. Dang, she has swag. I kinda wanna give her a flat billed hat and fur coat.

We were having a great time. I was talking and laughing with everyone else. I'm pretty sure we were drunk. Not on alcohol, but on nighttime and laughter. And I'm pretty sure we'd feel better in the morning. And pregnant people aren't supposed to drink, right...? (an- ha, I know they aren't. Yay health class:/)

I looked around, from a particularly long laugh, ensuing from Erza's comment of "I just, like, dream of world where a chicken can cross a road without it's motives being questioned!", to see our dear Levy-chan trying to slap Gajeel awake. I turned back to our conversation, uninterested.

Levy POV

Good, god, they're rambunctious tonight, I thought to myself, trying to slap Gaj-kun awake. I adopted Juvia's nickname for him, after she told me. I thought it was really cute, and totally cool and ironic.

"You are a BRICK!" I yelled in his face, finally fed up with my hand hitting piercings, "A brick of f***ing TARD!" I concluded. I slapped his face again, but this time, hand caught one of his piercings again, and this time it broke my skin. "S***..." I muttered. I had been at this for a solid ten minutes.

This was aggravating. How could I get him to wake up? I wanted him to take me home. As you read in the last chapter, the afternoon was not, by any extent of imagination, what one would call fun.

And since, Gajeel INSISTED ON LIVING HALFWAY INTO THE F***ING FOREST! my only way back, was on his motorcycle, which I didn't know how to drive. And I couldn't just ask Lily to take me home, either. I didn't want to bully him into doing anything.

And for those who are wondering, yes, I am PMSing.

So, I did the only thing I could think of. I sat on Gaj-kun's chest, and waited.

One minute- still steady breathing

Two minutes- no changes

Three minutes- one slip up at 19 secs, but otherwise normal

Four minutes- steady breathing, I starting checking my nails

Five minutes- His eyes are fluttering open...

"WAKE UP, DUMB-F***!" I yelled, getting of his chest, "YOU'RE TAKING ME HOME!" No one in the guild even turned their head. He sat up, squinting at me, and rubbing his head.

"TAKE ME HOME, TARD BRICK! GET YOUR A** ON THE MOTORCYCLE AND TAKE ME BACK TO THAT S***TY HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE F***ING WOODS!" I screamed in his face. Then he did the last thing I expected: He grinned. "You're sect when you're angry." He mumbled, fumbling across some of is words.

Oh my god, he's still f***ing drunk!

I tried to calm down, knowing a drunk Gajeel had the potential to be veeeeeeery scary. "Just take me home." I pouted, trying to look like I probably just bruised his face. And my hands.

He giggled. "I'll take you home, all right." I decided to not let it show that my rape alarms were going haywire. "Do it fast, s***-for-brains." I humphed. Well, yolo. He was drunk. He wouldn't remember any of this in the morning.

Gajeel simply giggled and lead me out the door. Only after we were a half of a mile away from the guild, that I realized I was letting a very very drunk tard brick drive me home at 50 mph on a metal death trap.

This was not one of my better decisions. And I guess he took "Do it fast, s***-for-brains" literally.

(line break)

Is that our house I see? I'm not dead? I'm not in a coma-induced dream? While, I was thinking this, Gajeel chose that opportunity to lift me up and carry me into the house.

My cheeks warmed, despite myself. He carried me inside, into our bedroom. Okay, all thought of PMS gone, this was pretty scary. The rape alarms were nearly broken. "You're in for a wild night," Gajeel murmured huskily in my ear.

He wrapped his arms around me, and started roughly kissing my neck, down to my collar bone and continuo. The rape alarms were there, but I didn't want Gajeel to stop.

(line break)

The next morning, I woke up next to Gajeel, naked. Brief snippets of last night's...activities played across the back of my mind. I'm not on the pill... I'm fairly certain Gajeel didn't use a condom.

Oh good god... What have I done?

(an- *le gasp* Levy-chan! You're so OOC! Cursing, rape alarms and such. BTW, this probably the closest I'm coming to a lemon. Even writing this, I felt like sicko.

Lingy- I only have one question.

Me- What

Lingy- What is a tard brick?

Me- I don't even know.

Granny Kagura- Oh my gosh, you guys are idiots! It's obviously a piece of the TARDIS!

Me and Lingy- Stare

Norma- Hiiiii!

Me and Lingy- Continue staring

Me- ... No. Just no.)


	12. Jellal 7

Levy POV

Well, this morning, I put a bag on my head, and went to the drug store to buy a pregnancy test. It was embarrassing. Gaj-kun had to drop me off, drive around for awhile, and then pick me up again.

The bag part was literal. A brown paper sack.

The ride back home, was embarrassing too. I kept on getting flashes of last night... Especially when I looked at Gaj-kun's hair.

The worst part wasn't even that I might be pregnant! The worse part is that Mira was right! Gajeel was like a jungle cat in bed!

...rawr...

At least it means I love you in dinosaur.

(Line break)

After waiting the longest two minutes of my life, I didn't have the willpower to look. I made Gajeel do it. He just stared at it for a looooooooooooong time. I prepared for the worst.

Gajeel collapsed. "Oh, s***..." I muttered. The test thinger was still in his hand. I looked at it.

A plus sign.

Lucy POV

"Ahhh... I feel so great and refreshed! Today's going to be a-" I was violently knocked out of my thoughts by a sudden wave of nausea coming over me.

I rushed to the singular bathroom of the house and heaved my wheaties to my heart's content. "Luuuucy!" Natsu yelled, "Are you okay?" He walked in the bathroom.

"Yeah," I said, "I think I heard of this happening to pregnant people. They call it morning sickness. I'll be fine later."

Natsu frowned. "That's stupid." He decided.

I nodded. "That is stupid."

Once I felt better, I washed my face, and brushed my teeth. I hate throwing up! I smelled like, um, puke then! I got dressed and stuff, and Natsu and I went to my apartment to get my things. It only took an hour or so.

By 11:38 AM, on December 20, we were all moved in together. So, I decided to bring something up with Natsu.

"So, how much do you actually know about weddings?" I asked him. Happy groaned, and flew out the door.

"They're where people get married." He told me, proudly, "Mira told me last month."

"Anything else?" I asked. I was burning with curiosity.

"Umm... Is there anything else to know?" He said back, a little skeptical.

Oh God... This is gonna take a loooooooong time.

"So, did you know we're supposed to dress up all nice and there's a big ceremony and everything?"

"Really? Cool!"

All right, that was clear now. And then another thing. "And the bride and groom, which is us-"

"You're the bride and I'm the groom, right?"

"Right. Well, we choose a few people, like good friends and everything, to be our groom's men, and bride's maids. And one in particular are called the best man, and the maid of honor. Sense make?"

Natsu was frowning a bit, but he nodded. "I think I got it." He said.

"Well, like, would you have any ideas on who you'd like to be your best man? Maybe like Gray, or..." I trailed off. I really hoped he didn't go all "Not that droopy eyes bastard on me!"

"I don't know... I'll tell you when I think about it." Whew. Off for now.

"And that we're supposed to have a nice location and like a person to preform the ceremony."

"Oh, we'll we can just use the guild. And I'm sure Gramps would."

"So, like, when do you want to have it?" I asked.

"I don't know. When do you want to have it?" Well, at least I'll get what I want.

"I was thinking like June or July."

Natsu leaped up. "Oh my gosh! We could have it on July 9 at 5 o'clock, so then it would be 7/9/795 at 5 o'clock."

"That would be pretty awesome." I conferred. I meant that genuinely. "We'll need to write that down somewhere..." I muttered, searching for a pencil and paper. I found a notepad and pencil, after a little bit, and wrote "Wedding" at the top. It underlined it. Underneath, I wrote "July 7, 795 5 pm".

Now, another thing was bothering me. "So Natsu, what's your favorite color?"

"What does that have to do with weddings?"

"It's what color the theme will be! Like, my bridesmaid dresses would be that color, that's what color the decorations would be, and stuff like that."

"Oh, okay. Well, my favorite color is orange, like fire.*"

"Okay, that sounds good." I wrote down "orange" under the date.

We discussed more wedding stuff, and when we were done, in addition to the things we already had, that orange snap dragons(yes, seriously) would be the flower, and that, yes, Natsu WAS willing to wear a bow tie for the ceremony. Bow ties are cool. I was satisfied.

"All right, I'm gonna go get a dress for the ball. You can go do whatever Natsu's do." I said, standing up.

"All right! I'll go find Happy!" He exclaimed, leaping up, "Bye!" He ran out the door.

(Line break)

So, I went to this little dress shop I found in western part of Magnolia, and got this totally cute dress. It was icy blue in color, with no straps, and a bow right on the boobs. The skirt was open in the front, and it was really ruffly. I LOVED it! But it was a bit tight in the chest...

Well, by this time, it was about 4 o'clock, so I went back to the guild. I was hungry, and I kinda wanted to take Mira up on the whole bacon with whipped cream thing on the menu thing.

However, the first thing I saw when I walked in the doors was our dear Levy-chan, with her head on the bar. Similar to what I might've looked like when I realized I was pregnant. It looked like Lisanna was talking to her.

I walked over and asked Lisanna what was wrong. She whispered in my ear, "She thinks she's pregnant."

I had to resist the strong urge to say something like, "HA!"

Instead I said, "Oh..." I couldn't think of much else that wasn't offensive. "I guess we're in the same boat, then." I patted Levy's back.

She raised her head, only to smack it back down again.

"So," I turned to Lisanna, deeming her better conversation at the moment, "Do you have dress for the ball? I bought mine just now."

She smiled. "Yeah. I got mine on Monday. It's a strapless vintage style navy blue dress that cuts off that the knees. It's kinda ruffly at the neckline, and there's sparkles in the ruffles. It also has more ruffles in the skirt, and those are sparkly too."

It sounded like it would look good on Lisanna. "That sounds really cool." I told her, truthfully.

"Thanks." She replied. Erza walked over to us, then. "What's wrong with Levy?" She asked me and Lisanna. I whispered in Erza's ear the words of, "She thinks she's pregnant."

Her face showed signs of pity. "It kinda makes me wonder who's next." Lisanna said, quietly. Erza then looked almost smug. "Not me, I'm as single as single can be." Her back was to the door.

I looked at the door. Unexpectedly, it opened to a good looking blue haired boy with a tattoo around his right eye. Even I recognized him as Jellal, Erza's childhood friend. And I'm pretty sure they had something going on, too.

"Um, Erza." I said, and pointed behind her towards Jellal. She wasn't paying attention. "Yup," she babbled, "No stopping this wild bachelorette." Jellal had spotted us. He was headed this way.

I screamed, "ERZA MARIE SCARLET! WHO IS STANDING RIGHT BEHIND YOU?" This got her attention. She whirled and did the anime jaw drop. "J-J-J-Jellal?" She stammered.

Jellal put on his best Koizumi face** and tried to calmly explain why the heck he was here.

(Line break)

(An- and I'll take this time to explain these:

*- Okay, this is not a proven fact. I just winged it and this was my best guess

**- for all of you unfamiliar with the Haruhi Suzumiya series, this face is just a pleasant smile. All the time. ALL the time)

Jellal carefully explained a long story which I think is better explained from Erza's point of view. Lucy out, y'all!

Erza's POV

Weeeeeeeeell, after a very very awkward two minutes, I learned why Jellal was sitting next to me.

Apparently, after the Grand Magic Games, he had FINALLY got over that uber-annoying guilt complex he had. He spent the next several months gathering money with Ultear and Meredy to bribe the magic council. In the end, it was roughly 885,000,000,000 jewel. Or, about 8.85 billion American dollars, I believe. We all gawked at this astonishing amount of money acquired in such a short amount of time. So much, in fact, that Ultear and Meredy decided to retire to the countryside and farm magically enhanced plants used for making medicines. Jellal had decided to come to Fairy Tail, and that's where we were today, folks.

I could not believe it. This was a dream come true. Although, it was funny that he showed up while I was talking about being a bachelorette.

Everyone greeted him with open arms, due to his contribution in the Grand Magic Games. Mira stamped him on his ankle(an- I don't know... Was that a good choice?). This was probably one of the greatest moments in my life. It felt so surreal, like it was a dream, but I knew it wasn't. And that was so much better.

Jellal was smexy as usual, taking me aside, amidst all the commotion. My heart was beating quickly. I was really excited to see what he wanted.

He took my chin in his hand, and looked in my eyes. My heart officially going overdrive. I can't believe he didn't hear it. I was reminded rather of the time we met in Era, with him as Siegrain. But my heart was beating for very different reasons.

"You knew I was lying when I said I had a fiancé, right?" He asked me. I could feel his breath on my nose. "Of course." My voice was steady.

"Remember the day at the beach?" My breath caught in my throat.

"How could I forget?" Man, not guilty or evil or amnesiac teenage Jellal was really really seductive. My stomach was doing flip flops.

"Would you like to pick that up?"

I couldn't help myself. I mashed my lips against his. Like the new Jellal, this kiss was very smexy.

Oh yeah. Jellal in Fairy Tail would be plenty agreeable.

(An- well, we have a new Jellal. Which adds to the ever growing list:

•Nice child Jellal

•Evil child Jellal

•Siegrain

•Evil teenage Jellal

•Amnesiac teenage Jellal

•Guilty Jellal

•Smexy Jellal

You could add in Mystogan, if you wanted. Bringing the total up to 7 or 8. To be quite honest, I like smexy Jellal the best.

Granny Kagura- I like evil Jellal the best. Bad boys. Yummy.

Soul- Well, not to brag, but I step in the shower before I turn on the water on.

Me- Souly! You say that right after getting back from a romantic vacation.

Granny Kagura- You really do that? Whoa...

Me- Lol. Silly Granny Kagura. Brecs is the perfect boy. He dresses nice. And he's not gay!

Soul- Don't I dress nice?

Me- You wear the same thing every day.

Granny Kagura- Seriously. That's just gross.

Me- Lol, sometimes, I look at the guys in my class, and I think to myself, "Would it kill them not to wear team shirts for our town? I mean, no offense to our town, but I'd like to something other than sweatpants and event tees." And that's where my thoughts stop, because then I'm like, "Wait! We're twelve! It really MIGHT kill them!"

Norma- Hiiiiiii!

Soul- Whoa. That's about the most open you've been about your feelings for a long time. Like since you were in fourth grade!

Me- How do you know what I was like in fourth grade?! My anime adventure started in sixth grade!

Granny Kagura- That's really creepy.

Soul- I email Hannah[#3].

Me- I met Hannah in fifth grade.

Soul- Oh... I didn't know that!

Me- Well, it's also come to attention that links don't work in the story. So, I'll work on putting them in my bio. Just because I love you all so much.

Breccan- MORE THAN YOU LOVE ME?

Me- Calm your biscuits, Brecs.)

After note- I WAS trying to be accurate with all my pregnancy remarks, but now I don't even care. So, some things(probably a lot) will be off about pregnancy.


	13. Elephant asses

Lucy POV

I woke up, feeling great. 8:48 am on Friday the 21st, the solstice. Tonight would be the ball, and I would have a great time! I was super excited. This was gonna be the best day ever.

I practically floated while getting dressed. I woke up Natsu who was ready in practically five minutes. Apparently Natsu was super happy too, because we skipped arm in arm with Happy to the guild. Well, Happy flew, but he still sang with us.

"Oh we're off to see the wizards!

The wizards of Fairy Tail!

Because, because, because, BECAUSE!

Because of the fact we're some of them!"

It was a great skip.

As we arrived, so was Gray. Apparently even Gray didn't dampen Natsu's mood. We walked in the guild, still singing our little Wizards of Fairy Tail song.

Lisanna, Elfman, Mira, Juvia, Erza, and Jellal had already gathered around the counter. "I'm just telling you guys," Lisanna was saying, "I never have, never will, want to play flute!"

"But you totally look like the kind that would!" Erza was insisting.

"Playing the flute is MANLY!" I'm sure you can guess who said this.

"I would seriously go out and buy you a flute." Gray said. Lisanna blushed slightly, but Juvia was too busy fangirling over how 'noble and generous' her Gray-sama. I'm not sure, but even though she told Gray, I'm not sure he understands...

Oh well. I'll see how this plays out. At least Juvia is off my case.

"Oh Jellal," Erza was saying, "You haven't really met Lucy." Jellal gave a pleasant smile. "I guess the craziness of last night," Jellal started. Erza blushed. "I didn't get the chance to introduce myself. I'm Jellal Fernandes, current boyfriend of the Titania." Erza stuck out her hand, and Jellal slapped it. Geez, Erza was the one that had been bragging about being single just last night.

"Hi I'm Lucy, current fiancé of the Salamander." I said. I stuck out my hand, and Jellal shook it. "Wow," he spoke, "How did that happen."

"Unplanned pregnancy. Super traumatizing and all that." I shrugged. Jellal eyes widened.

"Whoa," He told me, "that's quite the reason."

"It's all cool. Natsu's a good guy. Everything's fine." I assured.

"Glad to hear it." He offered another smile. Mira then took that opportunity to lean over the counter, and whisper, "Well, Levy said that she thought she was pregnant too. Gajeel's child of course."

Jellal gaped. "Man, baby boom much." We all nodded in agreement, except Juvia, who was probably imagining some hypothetical family she wanted to have with Gray someday. Gray, of course, was still oblivious to this.

"Well, we are having twins." Natsu grinned. "A boy and a girl. Cana did her little card-y thing."

Cana POV

I sat up in bed. I felt the same disturbance in the card magic world that I did when Natsu and Lucy announced their engagement. Well, at least I wasn't having that weird dream where I was singing karaoke with an armadillo named Bobette.

Lucy POV

"Have you thought of any names yet?" Lisanna asked. "Geezus, this has all happened this week!" I exclaimed. We laughed. It was a good feeling.

"So, what are we going to do at the ball tonight?" I asked, hoping to drain some of my excess excitement on them. I got choruses of, "The ball!"

"I'm uber excited, but I don't have a date." Lisanna told us, "Could you guys introduce me to someone? Nothing long-term, though."

Gray frowned. He touched Juvia with the back of his fingers. "Could we introduce her to Lyon?"

I could practically see the Excalibur-face* waiting to show up on Juvia's face. "It'd probably be good for him." She managed to choke out with still being polite. Man, I've never seen Juvia like this.(an-sorry Lyvia and Gruvion shippers)

"Lyon? That guy from Lamia?" Lisanna asked. She whispered in my ear, "He's kind hot. I guess I got thing for ice mages." I smiled.

"Yeah. I guess he'd appreciate it..." Juvia trailed off, apparently not caring one way or the other. Ouch. Did she really hate Lyon this much? (an- maybe not the greatest interpretation of Juvia's thoughts of Lyon, but hey. This is a fanfic. No one cares)

"This is gonna be so fun!" Mira squeaked. We chatted for about an hour, and pretty much everyone else was showing up. But a certain blue haired script mage and her super scary boyfriend weren't showing their faces.

Levy POV

I sat next to Gaj-kun on our couch, not saying anything. We had been sitting here for about a half an hour. Neither of us had said anything. Lily had left. It was just us. Alone. With a huge elephant shoving its fat a** in our faces.

I got the urge to go use the bathroom. I didn't want to disturb the silence. If I moved, then Gaj-kun would probably say something. About the fat elephant a**.

Another five minutes passed.

I seriously had to go now. I dared not even shift my position.

Another five minutes.

I was going to die. I clenched my teeth. I HAVE TO ENDURE.

Another minute.

I cave. I leapt up and ran before Gaj-kun could say anything. Ah, sweet relief.

Wait. Now I have to go back. I scowled. This was going to be horribly awkward. But, I've stalled long enough. This needed to be done sometime.

I tread carefully out into the living room. Gaj-kun turned his head toward me.

"Hey, shorty." He spoke. I clenched my toes.

"Yes." I managed to squeeze out.

"You're pregnant." Despite myself, I felt like saying something like, "You don't say, Sherlock?"

Instead, I said. "Yeah." My ears started turning red. Uh-oh.

"What are we gonna do?"

A pause.

"I don't know."

Another pause. Longer, this time.

"Look, I ain't gonna be one of those bastards who ditches their girl after making one mistake." Gajeel, said, looking like he wanted to turn away from me. But he forced himself to look me in the eye.

Oh. My. Gosh. My heart was pounding a thousand miles a minute. What's he gonna do?

"So, ummm..." Gajeel came over to me and got down on one knee. Oh my gosh! My spirits were lifting, my heart sped up to beat as fast as an epileptic rabbit's.

"Will you marry me?" Our faces were red. I could barely move to say this: "Of course!" And totally flying tackle hugged him. Well, I guess I really am in the same boat as Lu-chan.

But, Captain Hindsight says that this probs wasn't the most romantic thing in the world. It could've been done better. And with a ring.

"Hey, Gajeel." I said. He looked down at me.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"Do you have a ring?" I asked. Gajeel stared at me blankly.

He turned around, and I thought I heard him mutter a word that shouldn't be used in polite company. "I'll be right back." He muttered, shamefully.

He walked out of the room, and came back about 20 seconds later holding a simple band made of iron. I wonder where he got that*.

Gajeel slid it onto my finger. It was way too big.

"One moment." Gajeel said and ran out of the room. This time the ring fit. "You're so manly and BA." I cooed, knowing he'd like hearing this the best.

Gajeel wrapped me up in his arms. "I know." He says.

*- Well, I'm not sure if this is possible for Gaj-kun to do this. I think that I'm too wrapped up in Musica from Rave Master...

(An- Well I suppose you're wondering about the late update.

Granny Kagura- Yes, I'm sure everyone is DYING to know.

Me- *glares* Well, I've actually been busy.

Soul- But you're not in any extracurricular activities!

Me- Well my English teacher(that I hate) made us write 5 articles within four days, and it sucked. She has a weird obsession with newspapers. This is the second one she's had us do.

Granny Kagura- But you could still update before or after that!

Me- But, this is the big reason. Since I write all of this on my iPod, I had a freak accident in which all of the notes on my iPod have been deleted. All of my fanfics, all of my original stories, all of my Internet passwords, all of the things I wanted to remember, and everything in between. I couldn't bear to open the app for several days.

Granny Kagura- Pansy.

Me- SHUT YOUR W**** MOUTH! I WILL CUT YOUR FACE!

Norma- Hiiiii!

Soul- Geez, Master Meggles. Calm down.

Me- NO! I'M TALKING ABOUT A VERY SENSITIVE TOPIC! GO SIT IN THE CORNER, SOUL!

Soul- *obeys*

Me- And Brecs!

Breccan- Yes, my dear?

Me- I want to snuggle and watch Merlin! Lets go!

Breccan- All right! Colin Morgan, Bradley James, and Eoin Macken will make us feel better.)

BTW, I will post a new fic I'm working on. It's about Cana reminiscing about her past relationship with our dear Gray. I was kinda thinking about how Cana's just forever alone, and that she needs more love. So I decided to make something happen. But don't worry, I'm still a die-hard Gruvia shipper. Just don't worry.


	14. In which Natsu steps on Lucy's feet

(An- The other girls' dresses for the ball I'm not gonna bother to describe, but I have what I think they'd wear linked at the bottom[I'm so sorry] of my bio)

Lucy POV

We were startled to see the doors of the guild open to reveal Gajeel and Levy, looking as happy as can. Well, Gajeel was looking about as happy as he could get without it being comical.

"Hey guys!" Levy waved at us. I saw something glint on her finger. Could it be a-

"Hey Levy! Hey Gajeel!" Everyone said as they sidled toward us.

"Jellal, this is Gajeel and Levy." Erza told him. She turned to Gajeel and Levy. "This is Jellal." After they smiled and shook hands and the like, Levy exclaimed, "Guess what guys? We're engaged!" She held up her hand to show us an iron band, hastily made. Probably the handiwork of Gajeel.

There were congratulations and crude jokes aplenty. I slipped over to my dear Levy-chan.

"So I guess we really are in the same boat." I told her.

"Bro-fist!" She yelled, holding up her fist. I complied, and it was probably the most epic bro-fist ever to be held on this planet.

"So, are you going to the ball?" I asked, and immediately knew it was stupid question. Of course she was going to the ball.

"That's a stupid question. Of course I'm going to the ball!" She told me. Called it. "But I really am super excited." She told me. "Another party, just because we ARE Fairy Tail." I smiled. Yeah. We are Fairy Tail.

(Line break, since I'm too lazy for real ones, and I'm typing this on my iPod)

Later that day, we all went home to change and get ready. It was a struggle, really. I put on my dress quickly enough, but before I could call Cancer to do my hair, I heard Natsu yelling.

"Dammit! What's wrong with this thing! Where'd the button go!" He was yelling in frustration. The vest he was wearing had obviously been buttoned by a person who hadn't had to button many things. He had buttoned the second button in the first button hole.

"Here. Let me." I said. He pouted.

"Fine." He muttered. As I unbuttoned and re-buttoned his vest, I thought of what it would be like on our wedding day. Natsu would obviously be wearing a nicer suit, and I wouldn't be there to button his buttons for him, so he would have to figure it out himself. And he would be wearing a bow tie, and god knows how that will turn out. Maybe he'll get a one of those that has velcro and the strap that goes around your neck.

"There, all done." I stepped back. Dang, Natsu looked pretty hot anyways. With a white dress shirt and a black vest with his scarf on top, he was almost as fangirl scream-worthy as Soul in a tux*.

"I don't see why I need to wear this thing in the first place!" He said.

"You're probably underdressed, Natsu." I retorted. I mean seriously, this was black tie formal. Natsu wasn't wearing a tie.

"Whatever." He shrugged.

So I called Cancer to do my hair, and, lo and behold, he did it in my signature side-ponytail. All right, that's okay I guess.

"Ready?" Natsu asked, lounging on our sofa. OUR sofa.

"Yeah." I said. Then, Natsu did something so gentlemanly and smooth, it totally caught me off guard. He stuck out his arm for me to intertwine mine with.

"Shall we go?" He asked. Now, just because he was so serious, he was about 32x more smexy. I took his arm happily, and we went out the door. Happy was flying just ahead of us, knowing it would be tactful to keep his mouth shut for awhile.

It took us a long time to get there, but maybe it only seemed like that. I think I tripped over my skirt a couple of times. I mean, I was used to wearing things that came above my knees**. And this dress was way bigger and poofier than my maroon dress.

"You look cute in that dress." Natsu told me, out of the blue. I smiled.

"You look hot in that vest." I told him, smiling.

"Well duh I'm hot. I'm a fire mage." Natsu said this with such a straight face, I'm not sure if he was kidding.

"That's not what I meant."

"Oh."

"I look hot in my tux, don't I?" Happy asked, noting his own attire.

"The ladies will be all over you." Natsu exclaimed.

A pause.

"Hey, Luce. Can I tell you something."

"Yeah. Shoot."

"Well, I was thinking about our babies-"

Oh gosh.

"You should name them after fish." Happy suggested. I gave Happy a funny look.

"And I kinda like the names Haru and Cattelya***. They feel, I don't know, familiar. Like I should know them, somehow." I frowned. Now that I think about it, I felt the same way. But I did like the names.

"I like those." I said, feeling that these names were right. Natsu grinned that grin of his. Happy, tapped his chin, like he was considering of they were as good as fish names.

"Sweet! This is gonna be awesome. Think about it, Luce. We'll Natsu and Lucy Dragneel, parents of Haru and Cattelya Dragneel. Doesn't that sound great?" He asked.

"Yeah, it will be awesome." I smiled.

"You liiiiiiike each other." Happy said.

I smiled. "Yeah, I guess we do."

(Line break. You know, I've been using a lot of these. Maybe I should make it flow more... Nah)

The ball was still building up when we got there, but there was still a lot of people there.

The guild was beautiful. It was decorating lavishly with all things that were white in color and sparkly****. Fake snowflakes fell nonstop from the ceiling, but never actually reached the floor. There was also a large crystal chandelier in the middle of the room, that looked like it had been frosted over. Fake snow covered everything up high, but too high for anyone to actually reach it. Tables were set with centerpieces made of ice, no doubt some handiwork of Gray was somewhere among those.

The dance floor looked like an ice rink, but I doubted it was, however cool***** that would be. Natsu took notice of this first, though, yelling, "An ice rink? Awesome!" He ran towards it, pulling me along.

When we arrived, Natsu was disappointed to see that, no, it was not an ice rink. "We'll have to go ice skating sometime." I told him. That did sound like a lot of fun.

"But while we're here..." I started. Natsu picked up immediately.

"Would you like this dance?" He asked. I almost eeped in public. Natsu was being so charming tonight.

"Of course, kind sir." I replied, taking Natsu's hand. I put my other hand on his shoulder, and he put his hand on my shoulder. I laughed.

"No, you put your hand on my waist." I instructed.

"Uh, I knew that." Natsu reddened a bit. He put his hand where instructed.

I listened to the music, and it was a waltz, so I said, "And now, since this is a waltz, we just step to the rhythm. 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3." After Natsu had got the feel for it, I said, "Now you lead." This didn't go as well. After only about a couple of seconds of Natsu leading, he stepped on my foot, and since the heels I was wearing were so high, I tripped on my hurt foot and into Natsu.

He caught me and put me back upright. The rest of the song went smoothly, and afterwards, I suggested we got sit down and eat.

"Sweet! I'm starving!" Natsu yelled. I resisted the urge to say, 'Of course you are.'

The hall had filled up nicely by now, and we saw Mira waving us over, from a larger rectangular table. We went over, and saw her sitting with Freed and Lisanna.

"Hey guys." I greeted, casually. Happy, Natsu, and I took a seat across from them.

"Where's Elfman and Evergreen?" Happy asked.

"Evergreen isn't ready, so Elfman's waiting for her." Lisanna answered bluntly.

"Is anyone else here yet?" Natsu asked.

"Ummmm..." Mira squinted and looked around. "Oh look!" She said, and pointed to door. "There's Romeo, Wendy, and Charle!"

"Charle!" Happy exclaimed, rushing over to meet them. And since Happy was meeting them, we didn't feel the need to wave to over so we got comfy.

"I saw you guys dancing," Lisanna said, "Did you have feet problems again?" My feet shifted unconsciously, remembering the pain of just a short while ago.

"Maybe..." I mumbled. Natsu gave a regretful grin, and rubbed the back of his head.

"Ha, well, do you want me to teach him how to dance better?" Lisanna offered. I remembered the time she had gone all Erza during that filler episode about the ball.

"Oh, don't worry about that filler episode. I was being funny for Mashima." Lisanna reassured me. I gave a sigh of relief. Whew.

"All right, just keep your feet on watch." I warned. Lisanna laughed.

"C'mon Natsu. Let's dance!" Lisanna said.

"But I'm still hungry!"

"You get to dance anyways!"

I watched them go, thinking about what it would've been like if Lisanna hadn't gone to Edolas. Natsu might not have found me, and I might still be under fake Salamander's spell. They would probably be together. Lisanna would be the one pregnant with Natsu's child, and engaged to him.

I would've never known my first and only love, I'd still be wandering around aimlessly, I would be lost and alone, and I wouldn't be in Fairy Tail. I simply couldn't imagine a life without my friends. They've changed my life, and for the better. I just can't believe what it would've been like if I hadn't-

My thoughts were cut off as I heard Mira withdraw from her conversation with Freed to say, "Oh. My. Gosh." I followed her line of vision, until I saw what she was looking at.

Gray. Juvia. Mistletoe. Kissing.

Well that escalated quickly.

*- Look it up. Just look it up.

**- I had to. I just had to.

***- These are names of some characters in another of Mashima's works, Rave(of which I do not own). And for those who are wondering, yes, there will be a Musica, and an Elie, a Shuda, Let, and Julia, too.

****- What? Did they have Edward Cullen hanging from the ceiling, too?

*****- Can you believe I just made that pun? I can't.

(An- Well I certainly went over the top with those star things.

Granny Kagura- As with everything else.

Me- Meanie. I don't even do that.

Soul- She's right, she's way too lazy to go over the top.

Granny Kagura- Whatevs. You still have to write your history essay.

Me- Ugh... I'll do that before school tomorrow.

Soul- And your science presentation.

Me- Okay, history essays are a joke to write. Seriously, my teacher only expects five sentences. It's pathetic. And my science presentation isn't due until next week. I have plenty of time. I'll do it tomorrow.

Granny Kagura- This sounds like a Sunday-night project.

Soul- Yeah...

Norma- Hiiiiii!

Me- Ugh! I'm tired! I need to go to sleep. Leave me alone, conscience! I'll do my homework later!)


	15. Everyone eats face

Gray POV

Well, I believe an explanation is in order. Well, it's not really that complicated.

I picked up Juvia for the ball, since we're going together. Remember from the sleepover? And so we came here, and noticed we were under the mistletoe. So, being the sexy beast I am, I took this advantage, to kiss her. I'm just glad she didn't pull away. (An- Lets all do it together! *facepalm*)

So, I guess that really wasn't very entertaining. I'm not even sure why you're still reading this after a couple of paragraphs of me just ranting about how I kissed Juvia. I know Master got bored just writing it. Blah, whatever. We're getting to a good part. We're moving as slow as molasses in January, but we're getting there.

Lucy POV

Wow, just wow. So I'm pretty sure the only thing in this chapter that might've made you laugh is that last paragraph of Gray's POV. Just wow.

Well, everyone showed up. Blah, blah, blah. Lets fast forward to when Lisanna met Lyon.

Gray and Juvia sat next to me. When Natsu and Lisanna came back, Lisanna smiled at them, as expected.

"Oh good! You guys are here! And not to sound rude, but where's this Lyon guy?" She asked.

"Umm..." Gray scanned the crowd, while Juvia sighed, and rubbed her forehead. Lisanna waited patiently before Gray called, "Oh look! There he is! LYON! GET OVER HERE!"

He didn't even get up? Lovely.

Well, Lyon turned around and walked over to us, tray casual.

"Yes?" He asked.

"Here's Lisanna. Go and socialize and s***." Gray said, shoving Lisanna in front of him. "She didn't have a date to the ball and was looking for someone to fill in." Lisanna mustered a smile and wave.

"No!" Lyon shouted, "My Juvia is-"

"Mah girl now." Gray sounded smug. Juvia seemed to materialize out of nowhere under Gray's arm.

"B-b-but..." Lyon stammered for awhile. "Fine. Come along Lisanna. I'd like to get to know you." They walked off together. I furrowed my eyebrows, still stuck on that odd exchange.

I shrugged. Oh well. Fairy Tail will be Fairy Tail.

"Hey Lucy! Lets go get some food!" Natsu shouted.

Well, yolo. "Aye sir!" I shouted.

We pigged out, it was super fun. We went and danced again, and me, Natsu, Happy, Gray, and Juvia all did the can-can with a giraffe and I saw Wendy break dance with some armadillos. It was good fun, and when we went to sit down again, we saw Erza and Jellal k-i-s-s-i-n-g under the mistletoe. I whistled at them, and Natsu and Happy sang that famous song.

"Jellal and Erza!

Sittin' in a tree!

K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

It was hilarious. Nights like this reminds me why I love Natsu and Happy and Fairy Tail so much.

I joined in on the second verse:

"First comes love!

Then comes marriage!

Then comes a baby, sleeping in a carriage!"

Hehehehehe! I love tonight!

Erza POV(such a turbulent chapter in my POV experience)

Mmmfgh. Kissing Jellal. Can't get much better than this. Mmmfgh.

Wait, is that... Natsu and Lucy and Happy singing that song. Oh well, mmmfgh.

Elfman POV

Mmmfgh.

Evergreen POV

Mmmfgh.

Mirajane POV

Mmmfgh.

Freed POV

Mmmfgh.

Gajeel POV

Mmmfgh.

Levy POV

Mmmfgh.

Gray POV

Mmmfgh.

Juvia POV

Mmmfgh.

Romeo POV

Mmmfgh.

Wendy POV

Mmmfgh.

Lisanna POV

"Why is everyone kissing?" I asked Lyon.

"I don't know."

A pause.

"Wanna make out?" I asked.

"Sure."

Mmmfgh.

Lyon POV

Mmmfgh.

Lucy POV

"You know," I said, "It's a good night."

"You got that right! This food is so good!" Natsu agreed.

"Lucy, Natsu, I'm gonna go talk to Charle." Happy said.

"Go get 'em!" Natsu encouraged.

I was about to turn around to say something to Levy, but saw her making out with Gajeel, I groaned.

"Why is everyone making out?" I complained.

"Hell if I know. That's just disgusting. It's a party. We should be partying!" He said. He jumped up.

"Lucy, lets go dance! That was fun the first time!" Natsu exclaimed. I smiled, and jumped up as well.

"All right, but you can't step on my feet anymore." I told him.

"Yeah, yeah." He threw off my request. "C'mon, you're so slow!" He complained this time.

We ran to the dance floor, and made a fool of ourselves. It was a jolly good time. And when we heard the opening notes of Gangnam Style, we high fived and had pretty much the best dance ever to be held on earth land.

And since I don't sweat because I'm fan service, I danced for a looooooong time. Eventually Gray came up, and we did the can-can with Natsu and Erza. I looked at the edge of the dance floor to see the Trimens fighting over Cana. Hahahaha. Poor Cana.

Eventually, we all circled up and did the chicken dance. That was really fun.

"All right, all you couples, gather 'round!" Called the DJ after 'The Hokey Pokey' was over. "Everyone pick another couple!" There was madness, and eventually Natsu and I ended up with Jellal and Erza.

I think Gajeel and Levy got Romeo and Wendy, Freed and Mira got Lisanna and Lyon, Gray and Juvia got Elfman and Evergreen, Happy and Carla(who still insisted that she and Happy were not together, only she was dancing with him just this once) got Bisca and Alzack.

"And now, you switch partners for this next song!" The DJ called again. I looked at Jellal. I barely knew the guy, but I guess I could dance with him. I also glanced warily at Natsu and Erza. This probably wouldn't end well for Natsu.

"Hey Lucy," Jellal said, coming over to me, "Care to dance?"

"Why, of course." I complied.

Well, needless to say Jellal was a way better dancer than Natsu. But he was just so tall. I mean, he's taller than Erza, who was taller than Natsu, who was taller than me. The top of my head, like, came up to his shoulder. But he was pretty hot, which I guess was a bad thing for me to think, but hey, it's a party. No one cares.

"Look at them, I'm glad I haven't tried dancing with Erza like this yet." Jellal said, looking at Natsy and Erza. Erza was doing her typical 'dancing demon' moves, and Natsu was looking really sick.

"I'm glad I'm a girl and have an excuse not to dance with Erza." I responded.

"So, Lucy, I've been meaning to ask you something." Jellal said.

"Really?" I was genuinely confused.

"Yeah... So, how did Natsu propose to you?" This almost made me fall over. Of all things...

"Heh, well, it was kinda like-" I told him how absolutely unromantic it was. "But why do you want to know?" I asked slyly, hoping to get some good gossip.

"Promise not to spill to Erza?" He asked.

"Promise."

"Well, I'm kinda thinking of proposing."

I widened my eyes, and gave my best open-mouthed grin. "Really? But so soon? You just got here."

"I think we've gone through enough where it's safe to assume its acceptable to propose. I'm nearly 28, and need to do something good with my life."

"Make sure to do execute it better than Natsu."

"Well, yeah."

"So when are you going to do that?"

"When the opportunity presents itself. I've bought a ring and I'm carrying it around now."

"Ooooh! What does it look like!"

"The biggest, crudest diamond I could find on a gold band."

"That's awesome. Natsu still hasn't got me a ring... Maybe we'll have to go and get one..." I would probably want a colored stone, maybe like a ruby...

Jellal stopped dancing, so I looked around. The music was over and Natsu looked green.

"You're a lovely dancer, Jellal." I complimented.

"Same with you." He returned.

Erza was now shouting at Natsu who had fallen over.

"Get up Natsu! What are you doing? You can't handle a little dancing?" She put her foot in Natsu's face, and twisted it. What would Erza do when Jellal proposed?

"C'mon Erza, get your foot off of Natsu's face." Jellal coaxed. Erza studied Natsu for a little bit, and then slowly took her foot off of his face.

"Let's let Natsu and Lucy alone." Jellal put his arm around Erza, and looked over his shoulder and nodded at me. I gave him my approval nod. Jellal would be a great addition to the guild, being the only one who could easily calm Erza.

The night went on, and everyone got gigglier. Yes, alcohol was involved. I tried to keep away because I figured that would be good for fetuses.

Gray got really drunk, to put it nicely. The last I saw of him was taking Juvia home, although I think it probably should've been the other way around...

Juvia POV

Oh Gray-sama, even while drunk you are gentlemanly and polite in every way. Except for that one time you grabbed my boob. And when you made a 'that's what she said' joke. And when you took off your clothes. And when your beer spilled down your chin. But that's it.

I was holding Gray-sama's hand. It was cool, like ice and my Gray-sama's personality. My Gray-sama. My knees wobbled at the thought of those words.

"Juvia..." Gray-sama squinted at me, "Are your bees knuckling? I'll... Carry you."

"Now they are." I told him, fluttering my eyelids as fast my heart, which was pretty damn fast.

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! Gray-sama was carrying me... Someone pinch me!

I watched his face as he carried around town. I admit, I gave him wrong turns sometimes, just to prolong my time with him. But that doesn't matter in the face of true love, such as ours.

I was sad, and my insides went from light to heavy when he set me down to walk me up to my apartment.

Gray grinned at me impishly, and I wondered why. "Hey, Juvia. Can you show me your place?" He asked and winked at her.

Is this going where I think it's going?

(An- Yes Juvia, yes it is.

Soul- ?

Me- Google it, Soul, google it.

Granny Kagura- But why is Gray drunk? That's lame. And I bet he's still a virgin, too. He shouldn't be putting the moves on Juvia.

Me- You're just a GrayLu shipper. And my theory of Gray's virginity, is that he and Cana got really drunk one night and lost their virginity to each other. Before Lucy joined, though. But not longer than six months before.

Granny Kagura- And why are Jellal and Lucy like BFFs now? When did this happen?

Me- It happened in this chapter, and I can just see them being BFFs, can't you? Same with Gray and Lucy. They could be BFFs, and they would be the most kick ass trio ever. I'll have to make that happen.

Soul- And why is that?

Me- A new TV show, 'Heroes' has warped my mind with hopes of Claire and Peter Petrelli being the kick ass uncle-niece combo they are.

Norma- Hiiii!

Soul- You are a weird, weird kid.

Granny Kagura- She listened to Nat King Cole in vinyl this morning.

Me- I am a weird kid. Fangz![geddit?])

And for those who truly 'geddit', drop a review and I will send you virtual waffles(#). I'm trying out a new thing. Cookies are getting.


	16. Chicken and Waffles

Juvia POV

I was in a cloud of bliss. A cloud of Gray-sama bliss. My heart leapt when I saw his face on the pillow next to me. I had a perfect night, even though Gray-sama probably wouldn't remember my favorite part.

When I shifted my position, as to get closer to him, he stirred. He sat up, rubbing his eyes.

He took notice of me then, saying, "Juvia? Why the heck are you in my bed? Wait, this isn't my bed. And where are your clothes? Where the hell are my clothes? Oh god, don't tell me we..." He trailed off, unable to say the words.

Gray-sama's reaction troubled me. Was he not glad?

"Did we not use..." He started, then whispered the next word, "Protection?"

I thought back to last night, in all its glory. First, (this content is edited out, due to its vulgarity). But nowhere in the night do I remember... protection...

Oh god... What if what happened to Lucy and Levy is happening to me?

"Juvia... Did we just..."

"I think we did."

"Oh um..."

"So what now?"

A pause.

"I guess we should probs get hitched." Gray suggested. I froze. My heart skipped a beat, I stopped breathing, and I think my eyesight and hearing blinked out for a second there too.

Gray-sama grabbed my shoulders, and asked, "Juvia! Are you alright!" His stare into my eyes was so intense, I almost blanked out.

"Did you just... Propose?" I choked in the middle. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! AKDJAKSJAKSJKAJDKALSJDLSJLAJ SLAJ!

Gray frowned for second, and said slowly, "I think I did."

"OH MY GOD YES!" I threw my arms around him, forgetting we were naked, and started mackin' all over that beautiful that I have loved for so long. This is my dream true! My prince asked to marry me!

Well, I guess it was because of an unplanned pregnancy, but, as I love to say, "The ends justify the means!"

"Juvia, could we put our clothes on?" Gray asked.

"When have you ever wanted to put your clothes on?" I retorted.

"Eh, good point."

Lucy POV

Well, last night=the best night ever. And I stayed sober so I can tell the tales. And I got a video of Wendy break-dancing that is SO going on Sorcerer Weekly's website.

Natsu is being a warm boss like he always is. Screw heated blankets, I got myself a fire wizard. I loves mah Natsu.

I got up, and had an urge for fried chicken and waffles. I looked in Natsu's cabinets in vain. Well, apparently Natsu never felt the need to buy any bisquick, chicken, or shake and bake, so decided to get dressed and go to the store.

I put on some jeans and low cut tank(Lucy would wear that), and woke up Natsu.

"Natsu, I'm gonna go get some KFC and bisquick. I'll be back." I said. Natsu turned over to tell me, "Make the chicken be extra crunchy."

"And the potatoes extra soupy. With some soy sauce." I added.

Natsu stared at me. "Knock yourself out, as long as I get my crunchy chicken. And can you make me a sandwich?"

"Oh, don't even go there, girl." I sassed back. I put on my classy double button knee length gray wool jacket*, and walked outside.

I immediately turned around and went back inside to get a hat, mittens, and a scarf. It was snowing out there. Good lord, it's cold. Like, 15 degrees(I'm going by Fahrenheit here)**.

All right, now I'm ready. I'll go to the grocery store first. How much money do I-

I forgot my purse.

I turned around yet again, and grabbed it off floor next to hook for my jacket.

Okay, for realzeez this time. I'm going to the grocery store first, so the KFC won't get as cold. But I guess Natsu is a living flame, I could go to KFC first, since its closer.

I opened the doors with a flourish. The guy at the counter nearly choked when I walked in. I guess he had some bad coffee. He was slightly pudgy, balding, and had a great beard.

"Do you know what you want?" The guy asked politely, rehearsed. His nametag said, 'Craig, trainee'.

"Hmm... How about a 10 pice bucket of extra crispy chicken, and can you out three legs in there?" I didn't want to argue with Natsu and Happy. Getting a leg was serious shit. "And a small extra creamy mashed potatoes with some soy sauce in it."

Craig said, "I don't think we have soy sauce, but we do have ketchup, mustard, BBQ sauce-"

"Put all three in there." I said. Craig looked seriously freaked. Jeez, I'm pregnant. Don't judge.

"Umm... Okay..." He said, and shouted my order to the back, where all the real magic happens. Thanks Colonel Sanders.

In a mere minute or so, the delicious smelling chicken was in my hands, and I was out the door. I think I heard laughter as I let the door swing shut.

Craig POV

I can't believe I actually met the subject of my trolling, the Lucy Heartfilia. And she was defs preggers after ordering something like that.

After I quit La Café Belle, I got a job at KFC almost immediately, and now I'm a trainee. I only hope she didn't hear me laugh. Why did I laugh? Well, I am trolling her, and another, bigger reason which you'll find out quite soon.

Lucy POV

The grocery store. I'm so glad I'm here. It's cold out there. But now that I'm in here, I'm starting to question why KFC didn't give me a bag for my order-

Craig POV

;D *ding*

Lucy POV

Oh well, I guess I'll use a grocery store bag for it.

I casually made my way around the aisles, looking at things. I picked up some Oreos along the way, because, like, how can't you? And when I got to the bisquick, I looked at the suggest recipe for waffles. It needs milk! Duh! Off to the dairy section!

I picked up a can of redi-whip in the dairy section, along with a half gallon of 1% milk. When I was walking to the check out lane, I also picked up some strawberries, Little Debbie's, and crunchy chow mein noodles. Mmm... Sounds like a snack.

But, I nearly dropped then when I looked at the magazines. Sorcerer Weekly in particular. The front cover was plastered with pictures of me and Natsu. The headline:

"Expecting A New Fairy Tail Member!

The newly recovered guild's cutie, Lucy Heartfilia, and notorious dragon slayer, Natsu Dragneel, appear to have done the dirty, and we all know what happens when a Salamander really loves a Celestial Wizard!"

Sweet Jesus! What is going to happen to my life? This was the last copy that was left.

I bought the Sorcerer, along with my other things, and got the heck out of there. What if creepers were looking over the shelves and taking pictures of me with all this stuff?

I kept my head down, and power walked all the way back home. It was like when my dad was stalking me that one day, except I don't know if anyone is actually stalking me. I stole a glance over my shoulder. Just a scant amount of pedestrians, due to the cold weather. I sighed. Good. But it wasn't like I won't keep power walking.

When I walked through the door, I twisted the dead bolt shut. And the handle. I unloaded the groceries, and called, "Natsu! Happy! I got food!" They came running.

"Did you make me a sandwich?" He asked. I shoved the Sorcerer in his face.

"What is..." He trailed, seeing the headline. Happy peered over his shoulder. "Sweet! You guys made the front page!" Happy said.

"No! Not sweet! I didn't want this getting out! People will be creeping on us, and bothering us do much. This sucks!" I complained.

Natsu was digging in the bucket of chicken. "Do you want a leg?" He asked politely, holding one up.

I took it and sat down without a word. I opened my mashed potatoes. I dipped my chicken in it. Natsu and Happy exchanged glances, that clearly said, "She cray-cray."

"Quit looking at each other like that! Just because I'm eating this, it doesn't mean you can make fun of me! You guys are so mean!" I took my chicken leg, potatoes, and the unopened Oreos to the bathroom with me and locked the door. They can't just judge me like that! This is a very confusing part of my life! I'm pregnant before marriage, and now the whole country knows? I just want my chicken and potatoes and Oreos.

Luckily, Natsu knew not pester me while I was like this, but Happy wasn't so smart.

"Lucy! If you come out, I won't laugh if you dip the Oreos in your weird potato thing!" Happy called to me.

"Shut up." I told him, with a dark aura surrounding me. I hope Happy could feel it through the door.

"Natsu! Lucy's scary!" I heard Happy yell. Good.

I ate my chicken in brooding silence, and slowly realized that Natsu probably wouldn't have waffle iron, either. Dammit. I'll just ask for one for our wedding.

I eventually cooled off. Well, I ran out of chicken and got hungry for some more chicken. The Oreos didn't cut it.

"Lucy! You're back!" Happy exclaimed. I gave him a confirming grunt, and got out a chicken wing. Natsu was happily tearing into a thigh, and Happy was still eating his leg. God, that sounded weird.

After I ate the wing, I looked at the strawberries. Eh, they looked good. I washed them and nearly ate the whole little carton thing they came in. I let Natsu and Happy have one. Between the two of them, they had one.

I then heard my phone ring from my purse, and leaped to get it. Levy was calling. I tapped the answer button on the screen, and heard screams in the background. Well, it sounds like she was at the guild.

"Lucy, you and Natsu have to get down here. Now!" She insisted.

"What, wh-"

"Just do it!" She screamed, and hung up.

"Who was that?" Natsu asked.

"Levy," I replied, already pulling on my classy jacket, "She said we need to come guild. Now."

"All right! Let's go!" Natsu jumped up.

"Aye sir!" Happy yelled.

(insert super lame montage here)

"Oh. My. God." My jaw dropped.

"I can't believe they did that." Natsu agreed.

"Aye." Happy confirmed.

This time, it was Gray and Juvia's turn. The reaction was similar to the other anouncements, except this time it was bigger. It was paired with the engagement of Jellal and Erza. Hahaha, good for Jellal. He manned up. I just hope they didn't have unprotected sex.

I scanned the crowd for Levy, and Natsu went to talk to Romeo and Wendy, and Happy went to hit on Charle again.

"Give me the scoop, girl." I said to Levy.

"Well, Gray knocked up Juvia, and now getting engaged. Fortunately, Erza didn't have unproved sex with Jellal, but he proposed." Levy explained.

"Man, at least Erza got a ring." I said, wistfully.

"So did I!" Levy bragged, flashing her iron band.

"Better than nothing." I writed it off with a flick of my wrist.

"Man, Jellal. What a guy." Levy said.

"He's a good dancer, too." I added.

"Well... Okay..." She muttered.

"Oh! Levy-chan!"

"What?"

"Somehow, it leaked to Sorcerer that Natsu and I-"

"Do they know about Gajeel and I?"

"Not that I know of." I said.

She looked relieved. "Good." She said.

Ouch. She doesn't even care.

Erza and Jellal walked towards us.

"Hey guys, care to help us with something?" Erza asked.

*- obsessed with those, I love 'em

**- 15 degrees? That's not even that cold. But I guess I am the one writing this...

(An- *le gasp* What do Erza and Jellal want?

Soul- You haven't even decided yet.

Me- So? Doesn't mean I can't market it.

Granny Kagura- Get over yourself. You're twelve.

Me- ...so?

Norma- Hiiii!

Me- Last night, I decided in a desperate attempt to attract more reviews, that I'd adopt the practice of asking a question every chapter. What should I call it Granny Kagura?

Granny Kagura- Question of the chapter.

Soul- You should call it sparky sparky boom time.

Me- I'll call it... "Master's Question Corner"

Granny Kagura- Ouch, she didn't even listen to us.

Soul- That stings.

Granny Kagura- Wanna go to beach?

Soul- No way, it's February out there!

Me- Oh, and speaking of February, it's v-day on Thursday, so I guess I'll write you a little story about me and mah Brecs.

Granny Kagura- Oh dear lord.

Soul- Spare my soul.)

My POV

God, I hate the bus... Why everyone just shut up?

"Good afternoon, sweetums! Would you like some tea?" Breccan called from the kitchen. He came out wearing the apron I made for him, crocheted from fuzzy blue yarn. Blue is his favorite color. Oh, my Brecs.

"Lavender would be lovely..." I told him. I walked into our kitchen after him. It smelled like muffins.

"Did you see Gregory and his Roes again today?" I asked him.

"They're in love as always. We should make supper for them on v-day!" Breccan suggested.

"No, you promised we would get one of those heart shaped pizzas and watch Gone With the Wind and Merlin and Fairy Tail!" I whined.

"Oh yeah... But promise me you'll let me make cupcakes for you." Breccan asked.

"Oh Brecs, you're too good to me." I told him, "And I got 51 out of 50 on my history test!"

"Really? That's awesome."

"I wish you were there, though."

"You were fine, you had the memory of my hot, sexy hair to carry you through."

"You always know what to say." I told him, and put my arms around him.

"And you our hot glue chunk, Peter." Breccan said.

"I lost Peter."

"WHAT!? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT! HE CAN'T BE LOST!"

"FACE REALITY! THERE'LL BE OTHER HOT GLUE CHUNKS!" Tears were streaming down our faces. We hugged until the microwave went off for my tea water.

(Me- Well, I'm not sure where that came from, but I'm glad I got that our of my system. And Gregory is Breccan's best friend, and Roes is his awesome gf. She's cool.

Granny Kagura- Just shut up before you embarrass yourself further.

Me- Yeah, that's probably a good idea.)

Master Question Corner- What are your plans for v-day? I revealed mine during the story.


	17. We all hate Terri Huffernuts

"So, I'm pretty sure we all know what we have in common here." Erza started.

"Uh duh, we're all Fairy Tail. What do you think I am, stupid?" Natsu said.

"We're all getting married ash-ass." Gray said.

"No one asked you, sub-zero."

"Slanty-eyes!"

"Droopy-eyes!"

"Enough you two." Erza commanded. Natsu and Gray shrank back in their seats without a word. "We're all getting married, yes. So I'm here to propose a plan."

"Ha! Propose! That's a good one." I laughed.

"Uh, yeah, I guess... But we've all got engaged."

"We've been through this." Natsu complained.

"Dammit, Natsu! I want to share a wedding with you guys!" Erza shouted at him.

"A-aye!" Natsu whimpered.

"Well, I'll go in on it." Levy said, crossing her legs. "I mean, it'll be cheaper and less set up and clean up is involved."

Levy had me at "less set up and clean up".

"We'll do it, too!" I exclaimed.

"Carpe diem!" Gray shouted, and there high fives aplenty.

"Lucy and I had already had a date in mind." Natsu announced. "July 9 at 5 o'clock. Because its the year 795."

"Oh. My. Gawd!" Levy's cute and petite mind was blown by the epicness of Natsu and I's party planning skills.

"I approve!" Gray yelled, his mind obviously blown by our statement.

"So it'll be then?" Juvia clarified.

"AYE SIR!" We yelled.

"We can get dresses for you guys, and hopefully it won't be as lame as my appointment!"I cheered.

"Hallelujah, praise The Lord. I didn't think I'd have enough dress shoppin' opportunities!" Levy said, in a mock southern accent.

"So, what're the colors gonna be?" Gajeel asked.

"Why? Are you afraid it'll clash with your distinctive skin tone?" Jellal asked. I'm not sure if it was genuine or sarcastic.

"OMG yes! Gaj-kun does have a distinct skin tone. It's like, dark, but light. But it's not really tan or olive..." Levy trailed off.

"Juvia agrees." Juvia piped in.

"Neon pink! Any objections!" I yelled.

"Girl, what color is Natsu's hair?" Erza asked me, in a sassy voice.

"Oh... Yeah... What about pale gold?" I suggested.

"If we're going gold, we're going full gold, girl." Gray suggested.

"Yeah, buddy!" Levy fist bumped Gray.

"Wait... If we're doing gold, then what will our centerpieces be like?" Juvia asked, "They can't be flowers if its gold."

"Candles and and sticks. Maybe we could go for a rustic look." I said.

"Nope. We already got gold." Natsu defended.

"All right, all right." I backed off. Natsu, Gray, and Jellal seemed strangely, I don't know... Into this? If they weren't in relationships, I would be seriously questioning their sexuality.

At the end of our little planning session, we decided, that yes, we would be doing gold and candles. We would go all Hogwarts, and float a bunch of candles in the air because we're just that cool. There would be lots of gold colored ribbon involved in our plans as well. And lots of gold spray paint and Pinterest DIY projects. Heheh... Another great excuse to sit around all day.

This time, I lagged behind to talk to Jellal with Levy. I could totally see Jellal becoming the semi-gay friend. Oh, confused, are we? Well, here's my definition of a semi-gay friend:

'He always hangs out with girls. All the time. He's also more in touch with his feminine side, like he enjoys cooking and clothes and crocheting and shit like that. You might be questioning his sexuality a bit, but he's actually straight.'

And I think this was good for Erza, since Jellal could make up for any feminism lost on her. But meanwhile, he was mine and Levy's BFF.

"Jellal, you're gonna need to follow us on Pinterest. I'll be pinning like crazy to find good wedding plans, venues, food ideas, engagement shots, wedding party shots, vintage jewelry that I'll probably never get... Oh my gosh. Actually planning a wedding is like Pinterest heaven." Levy said.

"Oh my gosh. We should look for maternity pic ideas, too!" I exclaimed, excited.

"We could make a heart over our bumps!" Levy sounded really exciting.

"Ladies, please. You need to think of something more original. Bigger. Better. What will make an impact almost as big as cowboy boots with wedding dress?" This was Jellal.

"Uh, nothing." I said this in a 'duh' voice.

"Oh my gawd! Stroke of genius right here?"

"What is it?" Jellal asked.

"Silhou-f***ing-ettes." She exclaimed proudly.

"We could do like all three of you at once, and send it into Sorcerer. They already know, so why not give them what they want? It'll give Fairy Tail a bunch of street cred, defs." Jellal suggested.

"No. Wanna know what you should do, Jellal, you should talk it over with Erza, and join the baby club." I sassed back.

"OMG, that'd be so awesome! Do it, guys, do it!" Levy bounced up and down.

"Heh, good one." I giggled.

"Wha- Oh."

"So, what do you say Jellal?" I asked, leaning back. Levy was at the edge of her seat.

"Well..." Jellal started.

"OH MY GOSH! THIS IS AWESOME! THEY'RE GONNA HAVE BABIES WITH PURPLE HAIR!" Levy apparently couldn't contain herself to hear what Jellal had to say.

"While babies with purple hair would make my day, I don't think it works like that."

"Well, if you take the gene of your blue hair, and Erza's red hair, they could be co-dominant, and then we could Punnett square it up, and, voila! Purple headed babies!" Levy was too smart for me. I didn't follow anything she said. It's like I was watching the Big Bang Theory or something.

I stared blankly, but Jellal tapped his chin. "Hmmm... Maybe. I'll talk to Erza." He told us.

This I understood. I fangirled with Levy. When I noticed Jellal starting to look uncomfortable, we stopped.

"So, do either of you have a waffle iron I can borrow?" I asked.

(Line break)

I nearly threw a fit when Levy and Jellal said they didn't have a waffle iron. And being the lovely and charming person I am, I dragged them to Target to buy one for myself. And I guess Cana was coming too, because she needed some tweezers.

We decided to split into teams. I was with Jellal, and Levy was with Cana. Mine and Jellal's mission? No, not rebuild the Tower of Heaven, but to find a waffle iron and some gold spray paint. Levy and Cana's mission? To find tweezers and register Levy and Gajeel here.

Luckily, Jellal had decided to find gold spray paint first, thinking it wouldn't take as long. We picked up three cans, and headed to the appliances!

"FOR ASLAN! AND FOR NARNIA!" We shouted, and plowed through the halls, accidentally knocking over a display of shampoo and a middle aged woman.

"Hey Jellal, you wanna know what my whining and your guilt complex have in common?"

"What is it, Lucy?"

"They both annoy the shit out of all Fairy Tail fans!" We cracked up at this, and continued walking.

When we got to the waffle irons, I found a darling little thing with small squares, and it was purple. I'm sure Natsu would love that. And only 3000 jewel. Score score score!

"Oh my gosh. Wanna know what we should do?" I exclaimed, ideas hitting me, lightning fast.

"What, girl?"

"You know all those drinking games you see? Since I don't think alcohol's good for mah Haru and Cattelya-"

"Oh my god, are those the names? I love them!"

"Yeah, me too. They kinda feel familiar somehow, though."

"Weird, I feel the same way."

"Well, since alcohol ain't no good for them, we could do a warhead challenge instead. You, me, Levy, and Juvia."

"Why such the choice of people?"

"Because, you need to get acquainted more with someone other than Erza. I figured you could start with the lovely ladies you're getting married alongside."

"Well, I'm in. Can you text Juvia?"

"Of course! But wait, who's house should we have it at? I was thinking it could be a sleepover."

"Well I'm crashing with Erza."

"Oh, do you think Erza would mind taking Natsu for a night? Then we could have it at my place."

"I don't think so, but I'm not sure how Natsu will react."

"Hmm... I'll make him say yes. Even if I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill, with god as my witness, I ain't-"

"Lucy, girl... What the hell was that?"

"I felt the long passed spirit of Scarlett O'Hara pass through me." I explained. Jellal stared at me blankly. "You uncultured swine!" I snapped back.

"Whatever. Are you gonna text Juvia? I haven't gotten her number yet."

"Oh yeah." I pulled out my phone.

Me: Hey, you wanna come to a warhead challenge at my house on Monday?

Juvia: Who else is coming?

Me: It's you, me, Levy, and Jellal.

Juvia: But won't Natsu be there?

Me: I'm getting Jellal to convince Erza to let Natsu stay there for the night.

Juvia: Well, oh my Gray-sama yes!

Me: Sweet! Be at my house on Monday at 5:00. I'll make waffles.

"It's a go!" I exclaimed. We slapped a high-five, and went to meet up with Levy and Cana. We found them arguing at the Starbucks in the store.

"No, I'm telling you, I wanted the triple espresso, not the double!"

"Well I'm sorry you were being super quiet."

"I think you just wanted to flirt with the counter guy!"

"He was cute, and I was successful! Look, I got his number!"

"I don't care. I can't make it through the day without my triple shot of espresso!"

"You'll be fine. Except for the fact you're gonna have a heart attack someday from all that caffeine!"

"Oh, since when are you Little Miss Health, you drunk!"

"Bookworm!"

"Drunk!"

"Flatty!"

"Navel-bearing w****!"

I whistled. Was this a birth of a rivalry I was witnessing? Indeed, the fists started flying. I stepped in.

"Jesus Christ, Levy. All this for triple shot of espresso?"

"Well apparently it was only a double!"

"Calm your tits!" Jellal stepped in as well.

"She would if she had any." Cana remarked snidely. Levy rolled up her sleeves.

"Come at me, bro!" She yelled, and stepped forward. I had to hold back Levy, while Jellal held back Cana.

"What the hell, Lucy? The little bitch wouldn't get me my espresso!" Levy looked seriously pissed off.

"It was a double shot! Live with it, marry it, and have a kid with it!"

"Too late! I'm already doing that with someone else!"

Suddenly, the middle aged lady Jellal and I knocked down walked up to us. She was wearing a floral blouse, black dress pants, and old lady shoes.

"Did someone say pregnancy?" She had the most annoying little voice you could imagine.

"Uh..." Cana seemed to be at a loss for words.

"Well I'm pregnant." Levy offered up.

"And so am I." I told the lady.

"I'm Terri Huffernuts. I'm a 7th grade health teacher, and I think you all skipped a couple of classes. Sit down, I'll teach about pregnancy."

"No, I really don't think that's-" I started to say.

"No. Sit down." Terri Huffernuts was a bit demanding. But, we all did as she said.

Terri Huffernuts proceeded into a long rant that wasted at the very least two hours which I only got these things from.

1. I grow an extra organ when I'm pregnant(gross)

2. Don't drink alcohol while I'm preggers

Thank you, Terri Huffernuts, for the waste my time. I hate you.

By the time Jellal, Levy, Cana and I had checked out, it was like 9 o'clock. Now I'm tired. I want a triple shot of espresso!

Jellal and I had to break up more fights between Levy and Cana, but all was well. We returned to the guild, Levy and Cana snapping at each other, and Jellal and I too exasperated to do anything about it.

"Goody-goody!"

"Punk!"

"I'm gettin' real sick of your shit, guys!" I hissed at them, "Just leave each other's presence and all will be well."

"Hmph." Cana looked at Levy with contempt, and walked away with her tweezers.

"Oh, Levy, Lucy and I are planning a war-head challenge party at her place on Monday. Wanna come?" Jellal's voice was dripping with forced patience. After all that fight stopping, I don't blame him.

"Who else is coming?"

"Just me, you, Lucy, and Juvia."

"Ah, wedding party. I'll go, but shouldn't we invite Gajeel, Erza, Natsu, and Gray?"

"Maybe another time, but this time it's just us." I interjected.

"Sweet. I'll bring a deck of cards." Levy said in her sweet, petite voice. Somehow, I could see Levy laying down a flush or two.

"Did she just say that she would-" Jellal started.

"Mmm-hmm." I cut finished.

(AN- Dear god, what am I smoking?

Soul- You're not smoking anything.

Granny Kagura- Yeah, he's right. You're just on shrooms.

Me- They're joking, by the way.

Granny Kagura- Then what did I find in your jacket pocket?

Me- Dammit, I knew I shouldn't have let Rachel borrow my jacket. But how did you know they were shrooms?

Granny Kagura- Uh, Pedro and Pablo told me. Duh.

Soul- Who're they?

Granny Kagura- The Mexican Siamese twins. They're in the basement, rooming with Pete the Pirate, right Master?

Me- Uh... Granny Kagura, Pete has his own room.

Soul- Hehehehehe... Looks like we know how Granny Kagura found out they were shrooms.

Granny Kagura- What? How did-

Me- Well, I'm sure you've noticed by now that I'm and infrequent updater at best. I'm even worse for my other stories.

Soul- No shit, Sherlock.

Granny Kagura- It wasn't a secret.

Me- Blah... Well, you know how when authors address this fact, they're always all like, "Oh, I promise to update more and blah*insert empty promises here*" Well, I'm not gonna do that. Lets face it. 'Those who are lazy, tend to stay lazy, and those who are active tend to stay active' (3 Corinthians 3:38)

Soul- But I though 3 Corinthians talked about footwear.

Me- Are you on shrooms too?)

Master's Question Corner: What's your favorite flavor of Doritos?

Me- Personally, I like the cool ranch the best. Mmm-mmm tasty.

Soul- I like the taco flavor. Limited edition is cool.

Granny Kagura- Anything spicy because that's what Master hates.

Norma- I like cracked pepper because sneezing is fun.


	18. Warhead Challenge(kinda)

I screamed. How could I force this upon myself? How could I want something like this? How could-

"Quit whining Lucy, you've only had ten warheads," Juvia leaned back, "Look at Levy, and she's had, like, twenty." Levy was doing push ups, and nearly foaming at the mouth.

"It looks like she's in a lot of pain." I sassed back.

"Yeah, but she didn't scream." Jellal countered.

"But look who's talking? You both have only had like seven warheads each." I was starting to get annoyed.

"Blah, blah, blah. Suck it up." Juvia said to me. I turned down the corners of my mouth.

Only Monday, and I'm already hating myself. Why did I suggest this? Why?

"So Jellal, did you ask Erza about joining the baby club?" Levy asked.

"I did actually!" Jellal said.

"Oh my god! What did she say?" Juvia asked. Levy got up from her obsessive exercising to listen in.

"She said that she thought it was a great idea!" Jellal cried. She shrieked in excitement.

When we calmed down, I got brave enough to ask, "Did you... You know... Do it?"

"She couldn't keep her hands off me!" He bragged. We gaped at him.

"Girl..." Levy started to say.

"Yeah that's we want." Jellal said.

"No, girl, I meant- Ugh... Never mind..." Levy decided.

"If it was a girl, we were thinking Rin. If it was a boy, we were thinking Shuda." Jellal said.

"You got that far? Gajeel and I haven't even though about it..." Levy muttered, "But now that you mention it... I kinda like Musica..."

"Oh! Ladies! When can I go dress shopping with you?" Jellal sounded excited. I had a sudden bout of jealousy. They got to go dress shopping with Jellal, and I didn't.

"I don't know. Juvia, do you have any styles in mind?" Levy asked.

"Juvia liked the trumpet silhouette." She said, "With a big layered skirt at the bottom."

"That sounds cute..." I trailed off.

"I was thinking an empire waist. Barely touching the floor. Very simple." Levy said.

"That would be cute too..." I was starting to wish I hadn't rushed into buying my dress. My simple a-line now seemed like a lame choice. Levy would look so good in an empire waist! Juvia would look so good in a trumpet style.

"So Juvia, do you have any names in mind?" Jellal asked.

"Juvia likes the name Let." Juvia said. "It sounds powerful..." She smiled at her belly. She then let out a giggle that totally didn't fit the situation.

"You know, this warhead challenge was a stupid idea. Wanna watch a movie?" I said.

"Thank you! Nicholas Sparks, perhaps?" Levy suggested.

"No... I've already seen all of those..." I trailed off.

"Harry Potter?" Jellal suggested.

"What?" Juvia said.

"A lot happened when you guys were gone. But, I don't wanna get into that tonight." Jellal brushed this off.

"Wanna just surf the net all night?" I asked.

"That sounds lovely." Levy sighed a sigh of relief.

The three of them crowded around me with my laptop on a couch. I punched in Sorcerer's web address, to see who was making headlines.

"Shocking scandal reveals the hidden relationship between Blue Pegasus' Jenny Realight and Eve Tearm! Click here to see Hibiki Laytis' response to this surprising development between one of his best friends and current girlfriend!"

"Lamia Scale Lyon Bastia and Fairy Tail Lisanna Strauss were seen together at Fairy Tail's Winter Ball! Click to See More!"

"Fairy Tail Wendy Marvell is seen break dancing at Winter Ball! Click here to see the video!" I giggled.

"The two notorious drinkers, Cana Alberona of Fairy Tail and Bacchus of Quatro Cerberus duke it out in a drinking contest! Click here to see who won!"

"Sabertooth's Minerva nearly arrested for cruelty towards guildmates! Click here to read more!" I tsked.

"Ex-Fugitive Jellal Fernandes ays the Magic Council a large mmount of money and is now a member of Fairy Tail! Our reporter Jason sat down with Jellal and Erza Scarlet about their budding relationship! Click here to read more!" I looked at Jellal, abashed. Jellal grinned.

"Lamia Scale Yuka Suzuki speaks about being bullied as a child about his eyebrows! Click here to read his heart-wrenching story!"

"Mermaid Heel Millianna talks about her relationship with an elusive man, not in any guild! Click here to see who it is!"

"Lamia Scale Chelia Blendy speaks of her relationship with Romeo Conbolt of Fairy Tail several years earlier! Click here for more details!" I gaped, and clicked on the story.

"Chelia says, 'It was a short lived relationship that probably wouldn't have worked out." I breathed out. Good. I clicked back to the headlines.

"Blue Pegasus member Ichiya Vandalay Kotobuki speaks of his past experiences with inhalants! Click here for his inspiring story!" I burst out laughing. Inhalants=parfum in my mind.

"Fairy Tail Gray Fullbuster talks about his famed rivalry with Natsu Dragneel of Fairy Tail! Click here to hear the origin of a seemingly unexplainable rivalry!" Well, they just hate each other. I guess I never questioned it.

"Sabertooth Sting Eucliffe and Rogue Cheney return from their extended mission after the Grand Magic Games! Click here to see what they had to say!"

"Magic Council member Lahar speaks of new guilds that may slowly rise to fame! Click here to see what they are!"

"Fairy Tail pregnancy announcement astounds all fans! Click here to see more details!" I clicked, and this time, read the whole story.

"Sorcerer Weekly has caught wind of this weighty story from an anonymous source, who overheard two members of Fairy Tail at a restaurant speaking of it. 'They said that Natsu and Lucy were having a child.'

"Well, when our Jason inquired Fairy Tail member Cana Alberona, she revealed that they were expecting twins, a boy and a girl. 'They're thinking about the names Haru and Cattelya. They sound kinda familiar, somehow...'

" 'There's also a couple more people having babies. That would be Levy McGarden and Gajeel Redfox, Gray Fullbuster and Juvia Lockser. Oh, they're all engaged by the way, along with Erza Scarlet and Jellal Fernandes, but they're not having a child. Not yet, anyway.' Alberona winks. 'Thats pretty much it.'

"Stay tuned for more on this story when Fairy Tail reveals more."

My jaw dropped.

"That conniving little bitch." Levy said straight out. Jellal and I groaned.

"Get over it. She missed one shot of espresso!" I told her.

"One shot of espresso is one friendship in my book." Levy pouted.

"My god..." Jellal facepalmed.

"One shot of espresso cost Cana Levy's friendship?" Juvia asked skeptically.

"It's stupid..." I responded.

"Whatever, let's just play some cards." Levy huffed.

"That sounds lovely." Jellal said.

"But Juvia wanted to watch cat videos!"

"No." I said, doing a great(unintentional) imitation of grumpy cat. She made a face at me, but sat down to play cards.

"So, what are gonna play for?" Juvia asked.

"I have some Little Debbie's. I can go get them." I suggested, half standing up.

"No... Not enough of those..." Levy trailed off. "How about we play with truth or dare poker? It's like regular poker, but if you have the losing hand, the winner gets to ask you or dare you to do something."

"Can it be dealer's choice?" Jellal asked.

"Always." I said.

"What?" Juvia complained.

"Mah house, mah rules, bitch!" I sassed back.

"This isn't even your house..." Juvia muttered. I rolled my eyes.

We started with me dealing, and a rousing little game of Indian poker*. It goes like this: Each player gets dealt one card. They can't look at their card. But, when the dealer gives the word, they players put the card on their forehead. Depending on what cards the other players have, you can either fold or stay in. Whichever player has the highest card wins(as long as they didn't fold). Ace high.

Well, Jellal has a four, so I guess I can compete with that. Levy has a nine, which is kinda, eh... But whatever. Carpe diem. And Juvia has a jack. Uh-oh, but like I said: carpe diem.

"Look at your cards in three... two... one!" We all smacked our cards down. Dammit, mine was a six. Which meant...

"Jellal, truth or dare?" Juvia asked.

"Dare." He said, almost grinning.

"Juvia dares you to eat ten warheads. At once." She grinned back. Levy and I gave a big, "Ooooooooo..." Jellal shot us a look, and we stopped. Although, we continued laughing at Jellal's misfortune.

He grabbed a handful from the bag, and counted out ten candies. I was nearly in hysterics. Jellal glared at me, and unwrapped each candy. Levy and Juvia had joined me. Jellal stuffed all ten in his mouth, and let out a terrifying scream. It was like the sound of dying babies mixed with the sound of nails on a chalkboard mixed with the blood of a virgin. Always gotta add that into the mix.

Jellal had tears streaming down his face, and he had curled into a fetal position. Me, Levy and Juvia stopped laughing.

"Maybe I should've only went with five..." Juvia muttered, and without any warning, Jellal darted for the bathroom. We all went after him. After he was done, I rubbed his shoulder.

"It's alright. We're here for you. We've all had bulimia at one point or another. It's really a tough time, but you need to just power through and-" Jellal looked at me funny.

"I don't have bulimia." I blinked.

"You've never had bulimia, and you don't have it now?" I confirmed. He nodded. I punched him in the stomach. "Son of a bitch..." I muttered, and walked out.

Well, after that pretty scene was over, it was Juvia's turn to deal. She chose spit. I forgot the fine details, but I remember that when the dealer is dealing, someone yells spit, and the dealer turns up a card, and that's the wild card. So naturally, I yelled spit at the top of my lungs right off the bat. The card was six, go figure.

When I had received my hand, I had these cards: the king of diamonds, seven of clubs, two of clubs, five of hearts, and a ten of spades. Well damn. This sucks.

I exchanged the limit of three cards, and got these instead of the king of diamonds, the ten of spades, and the five of hearts: 4 of clubs, three of spades, and eight of clubs. Not much better.

"I fold." I said. Better safe than sorry. It was a good thing I did. Jellal had a full house, Levy had a four of a kind, and Juvia got a flush. But unfortunately for Juvia, that was the lowest ranking hand, so Levy got to ask or dare her.

"Truth or dare?"

"Truth." Juvia seemed confident.

"What's one thing you aren't proud of. You know what I mean..." Levy asked, and kinda slid towards Juvia as she said this. Juvia tapped her chin, and finally decided on an answer.

"Having unplanned, pre-marital sex which resulted in an unplanned, pre-marital pregnancy." Juvia gave a sly smile.

"She is right, you know." Jellal was eating a Shnickuh's Bah, and the chewing did not give a good effect to this statement.

"Hey, Lucy and I are doing the same thing as you." Levy pointed out.

"So? Doesn't mean I'm proud of it." Juvia replied, stoic as ever.

"Whatever, lets just play the next game." Levy said, and took the deck. She had us play seven card no peak. Basically, you get seven face down cards, and you turn them up, taking turns. The one with the poker hand wins.

"Hey guy, you wanna know what our love lives have in common?" I asked, while playing in the game.

"What, Lucy?" They replied.

"They make all Fairy Tail fans wanna jump off a building, then shoot themself."

"But Lucy, by the time they hit the ground, they'll be dead, and can't shoot themself."

"I know!" We all laughed. This is hilarious shit, right here. But, in the end of the game, I lost, and Jellal won.

"Ugh... God-"

"Lucy, if you keep cursing like that, Haru and Cattelya will bring sailors to shame." Jellal scolded. I saw Levy and Juvia flush.

"Whatever. I choose truth, by the way." I was starting to feel tired.

"So, Lucy, who was the first person to know that you were pregnant?"

"First it was Loke, then Gray, then Lisanna." I replied.

"Great fluffin' question, Jellal. I wanted to get some dirt on Lucy." Levy complained. What?

"I want dirt on you too, Lucy." Juvia said.

"You guys are mean! Maybe we should just go to sleep!"

"But it's only-" Jellal started.

"We're gonna go to sleep! F***ING NOW!" I yelled. I pulled quilts over myself, and shut my eyes.

Surprisingly enough, Levy, Jellal, and Juvia complied. And we actually got more than four hours of sleep. Wow. Sweet.

(Line beak)

"Gah! I can't believe we actually slept!" I woke up to Jellal yelling.

"Shut up, it's the morning. No one cares about anything!" I shot back. I thought I actually heard Levy growl. Juvia never moved an inch.

"Wow..." Jellal whined. I got up, and went to the kitchen, and made waffles. Fifteen minutes later, Levy and Juvia were perking up.

"FOOD!" They moaned, and headed toward me. Well, they are teenagers. And pregnant.

"So... Do you have any... Syrup...?" Levy asked, tentatively.

"And... Some Doritos?" Juvia asked.

"That'd be really good... Jellal, can you go get some Doritos?" I said.

"Actually, yes. I can." Jellal stood and went to put his shoes on. We watched him walk out the door.

"He better be back with those chips soon." Levy said. I only nodded, and stirred the batter.

Jellal POV

Well, I might not be going to directly to the store, but they'll appreciate it anyways. I decided to stop by the guild, in case there was any new gossip floating around.

When I walked through the doors, I found that the atmosphere was much more full that I had expected of the infamously vivacious Fairy Tail. Everyone was drinking and talking in low voices. No bar fights, no people dancing on the tables, no... joy at all.

I saw Erza sitting at the counter, with a mug of beer. What? Erza never drinks. I approached her.

"What's wrong? You never drink-" I started to say, but Erza cut me off. She looked old, sad, and tired.

"You know how we planned to get me pregnant that night?" She asked. Her eyes were blunt and honest, but I wasn't sure what they were saying.

"Yeah... How could I forget?" I said. I was starting to get seriously worried.

"I got my period this morning." She said, grabbing my hand.

*- Please forgive the racism of this game, but it's seriously so easy, that I had to put it in.

(An- Well, I almost feel bad for writing that.

Soul- Of course you should! What if they're infertile?

Me- They're not infertile, they just had a little bit of a... complication.

Granny Kagura- Complication? Complication?! COMPLICATION?! WHAT KIND OF SICK PERSON ARE YOU?

Me- The burden of a writer. It's not for the weak.

Soul- So, it's obviously not for you, Kagura.

Granny Kagura- Bitch, did you see HOW many times I fought Inuyasha? And won?

Soul- That's not what I meant.

Granny Kagura- Then what do you mean?

Me- FEELINGS, IDIOT!

Norma- Hiiii!

Soul- Gosh, Kagura. You're so stupid.

Me- Oh Breccan, whatever shall I do?

Breccan- Plan a way out of this!

Me- I already have it planned.

Breccan- Well, do you want some muffins and tea?

Me- Yes.

Breccan- Really? Even after all this time?

Me- Always.)

Master's Question Corner: What's your favorite book?

Me- Oh god... Please come back to me

Breccan- Dear John by Nicholas Sparks.

Granny Kagura- 50 Shades of Grey by E.L. James

Me- Gray Fullbuster? :D

Granny Kagura- Christian Gray

Me- :(

Soul- Are There God? It's Me, Margeret by Judy Blume.

Me- Do you know what that book is about?

Soul- Yes.

Me- O.o

Norma- The Brother's Grimm book of Fairy Tales.

Me- Isn't that a bit morbid?

Norma- IT'S WONDERFUL WORK OF LITERATURE AND SHOULD BE REGARDED AS SUCH!


	19. Uh-oh

(an- I am setting this in the guild out of the town, until it actually says that they officially move back to the old one)

Jellal POV

"B-but that means that..." I stumbled across the words, an enormous hole slowly tearing my heart into two large pieces. I sat down next to Erza. "Are you sure that we're-" I stopped. I couldn't bring myself to say the word.

"No," she said, "But I don't want to go to a doctor. Not now." I nodded. I didn't want to either.

"I'll text Lucy and tell her I won't e coming back." I said, and pulled out my phone.

Me: Can you bring my stuff to the guild? I'm not gonna come back.

Lucy: WHAT? I NEED MY DORITOS NOW BITCH!

Me: Something came up, and it's really important that I stay with Erza. Please! Can you just do it?

Lucy: ...Okay

Me: Thanks

I put my arm around Erza, and stared at the wall until Lucy came. I picked up my bags, and offered to take Erza home. She accepted, and we trudged back. The whole time, I was thinking, 'What are we gonna do?'

Lucy POV

After I gave Jellal his duffel bag, I had already sensed the tension. I was about to ask Mira. I was shocked, and terribly sorry for them. But then Natsu waved me down. I went over to him.

"Hey Lucy, what's-" He said in a normal voice.

"Sh. Lets talk outside." I whispered. Natsu just nodded and went with me. We went to the edge of the woods, and sat down on the grass.

"What's going on? When I asked Mira, she just shushed me." Natsu said, staring straight into my eyes.

"Did you ever hear that Jellal and Erza were gonna try and have a baby?"

"No! When did they-"

"It doesn't matter. Erza just got her period this morning."

"And..."

"One of the telltale signs you're pregnant is that you miss your period, since you can't get your period while you're pregnant."

"So, what does this mean for them?"

"They might be infertile. This is a big deal, and it must super sad for both of them." I said. I saw Natsu's eyes soften. "They might be infertile." I repeated to myself, and I felt tears sting my eyes. I blinked to keep them from coming.

"I'm sure that-" Natsu started. He stopped himself. He looked confused. So not even Natsu could find some hope here. "Come here." He said, and stretched out his arms. I crawled over to him, and sat in between his legs. I laid my head on his shoulder, and closed my eyes. Now, I felt tears seep through my eyelids.

I looked up at Natsu, and saw that he looked pretty bummed as well. I grabbed his hand. We looked each other in the eyes.

"What if that had happened to us?" Natsu asked.

"I don't know, babe." I told him. This was an honest answer. This really knocks everything into perspective. Even getting knocked up out of the blue was better than that. At least we knew that we have the option for more, if we wanted. Jellal and Erza didn't know that. I'm actually thankful I had an unplanned pregnancy. Almost anything is better than that.

Natsu put his head on top of mine. We just sat like that for awhile, together, but alone with our own thoughts. I felt Natsu lift his head off of mine first, and I stood up, and helped pull him up. We walked back to the guild, newly humbled in light of this tragic event.

Jellal POV

Erza was sad and withdrawn for a long time. Two days after we found out, she went on a short job with Gray and Natsu, only to return to the news of Elfman and Evergreen's engagement. And pregnancy. She went on a solo job the next day, barely talking to me, let alone anyone else.

She returned about a week later, to find out me and the girls had planned even more of our wedding. She regarded it coolly, and just sat around. She started drinking a beer a night, even though she's never drank before. It didn't help that next week Mira and Freed announced their engagement and pregnancy.

I felt bad leaving her to go on a job to capture a beast that had been terrorizing a town. I returned the next day, only to find out she had took off on a solo mission. She came back three days later. That night, I had to carry her home, because she was drunk.

The following morning, I cornered her. "C'mon, we can go see Porlyuscia and then we'll know-"

"No. I gave up." I stared at her.

"You... Gave up? Just like that?" I was bewildered.

"I just couldn't handle it if we really were..." She trailed off.

"It's the sixteenth of January, don't you think we've waited long enough?"

"No!" She looked close to tears.

"But there's still a chance!" I shouted back. She just looked at me for a long time. She then turned around, and disappeared into our room. I thought I heard her let out a small sob before she slammed the door in my face. She locked herself in there for the rest of the day. I returned to guild to seek counsel from Lucy.

"I don't know, Jellal. If I were you, I'd drag Erza kicking and screaming to Porlyuscia's. But then the question stands that if you can pull it off. I'm sorry, I really feel for you bro, but I've just never been through anything like that before. But, you know what I can do? I can give my friend Jellal a hug for being so awesome." So she did, and I talked to Master(Makarov) about seeing Porlyuscia the next day. He told me where she lives, and wished me luck with the grumpy old woman.

I didn't go to her the next day, or the day after that. It was only when Erza said she was going on an s-class mission with Gray and Natsu, did I try and take her there. She got away, though, and hid somewhere that I couldn't find her.

The day of their departure, I took Natsu and Gray aside to talk to them. "Make sure she doesn't... Hurt herself. You know how she's been lately." I said.

"You got it. Erza's our friend, and we make darn sure she won't do anything stupid or irrational." Gray assured.

"Uh duh. But, it's just so unlike her to be like this..." Natsu said, looking down.

"I know." I told him.

So, that afternoon they departed, and didn't return until three weeks later, on the tenth of February. Lucy said that her jeans and skirts started to not fit her, and she started wearing old sweatpants every day. When Erza found out, she just seemed more bummed.

She was drunk that night as well. But, only seconds after I was disappointed, that feeling was replaced with a sense of opportunity. This could be my chance to take her Porlyuscia's. I took it, and ended up dragging Erza's half conscious form there most of the way.

Upon arrival, Porlyuscia's mistook me for Mystogan. But, when she realized it was me, she didn't try and chase us away. She did her odd healer magic, and told me was wrong.

"Erza has a bad ovary, which means she doesn't produce a fertile egg every ovulation. While there's nothing I can do about this, you could easily have a child if you conceived by the end of the week." After that, however, she shooed us away.

I thanked her, and carried Erza's now fully unconscious body back home, and tucked her into our bed.

The next morning, I told her about my meeting with Porlyuscia the night before. "She said that if we conceived by the end of the week, we could have a kid."

Erza stared at me, eyes wide, and tearing up. She covered her open mouth with her hand. When tears started falling, she wiped her eyes, and smiled at me in what seemed like forever.

"Would you like to get on that conception stuff?" She asked me.

"Of course," I said. I whispered in her ear then, "No better time than the present."

(line break)

Well, we did it. Hahaha, pun intended. Erza's preggy. And very happy, on top of it. Whew, no more eternally grumpy Erza.

Then, we had Cana do her card trick to see if were getting a boy or a girl. A boy. And Erza completely agreed with my suggestion of the name Shuda. So, we started a new chapter of our lives together. With Shuda.

Lucy POV

And by the time little Shuda was announced, it was already known that Gray and Juvia were having a boy and naming him Let. Gajeel and Levy were also having a boy named Musica. Elfman and Evergreen were having a girl and naming her Julia. Mira and Fried were having a girl and naming her Reina.

So I guess Fairy Tail was experiencing its first ever baby boom. Sweet.

(Line break)

I started showing on the 18th, according to everyone. God, showing in the second month? How freaking big will I be at nine month? But, Natsu and I love our little Haru and Cattelya, so I hope those little shits will be good kids.

I was talking to Wendy one day about me being pregnant. Meaning I was complaining.

"Seriously, it's so freaking tiring! I get emotional at the littlest things, stretch marks are a bitch, and I heard your back hurts like hell when you start getting big. And thanks to fact I'm having two children instead of one, that'll be a lot longer than everyone else. And my boobs are getting even freaking bigger, if that's possible." I sighed, "Being pregnant is not fun." I told her.

"Um..." Wendy seemed like she didn't know what to say.

"Take a lesson from me: plan your pregnancies. This unplanned shit sucks. I mean, look at me. I'm wearing sweatpants everyday, and I'm going to buy maternity clothes next week." I took a sip of my OJ.

"So, um... Do you know when you'll be having the baby shower or wedding shower?" Wendy asked.

"No, but I guess I'll share a baby shower with the other girls. I'm just knee deep in wedding plans, but thank god we're not hiring a florist. And we're just gonna use our music for the reception. We're gonna put a song request line on our invitations, so we can buy them in advance. But, one plus to all this: I have an excuse to sit and look at Pinterest all day."

"Really? You're on Pinterest? I need to follow you." Wendy said.

"And did you know that Bixlow knows how to play piano, and Fried knows violin? Well, we're getting them to play at the ceremony. Just Canon in D and that one bride song that I don't know the name of."

"The Bridal March by Richard Wagner?"

"Oh, duh. I'm stupid today. Oh well." I took another sip of my orange juice. "This is really good. Do you know what would make it better? Some chocolate syrup, just stirred right in there. Doesn't that sound good? I should ask Mira if she has any here." I stood up, and walked away, leaving Wendy staring at me.

"Mira, is there any chocolate syrup here?" I asked.

"No, Levy and Juvia ate it all yesterday with their carrots."

"Man, I was thinking OJ with chocolate syrup was weird." I turned around and walked back to Wendy.

"Do you wanna, like, I don't know... Help with the baby and wedding showers?" I asked Wendy.

"Of course! It's, like, my favorite thing to pin!" Wendy looked legitimately excited. But then, another thought crossed my mind.

"Have you ever thought about... Dabbling in... Maybe sorta... Kinda... Have you ever had any experience with... Um... Midwifery?" I asked. Wendy took awhile to comprehend this.

"Um... I've never done it before... But I could go ask Porlyuscia. I'm sure she would appreciate not having to deal with that..." She trailed off.

"So, you'd be cool with it?"

"Uh... I guess..."

"And... Confident to do... That?"

"Yeah." Wendy shifted in her chair. So, I just asked Wendy to deliver my children. A thirteen year old girl. Okay, seems legit. I have faith in her. But I'll be sure to pray whatever gods there is before... that... happened.

"Luuuucy!" Natsu's voice rang out above the din, "I'm going on a mission with Happy!"

"All right. Where are you going?"

"Uh... I think it was somewhere out of town. They want us to catch the people that are stealing their chickens."

"Sweet. Have fun." I looked down at my phone, and into Pinterest.

Ooh, Jellal pinned a good wedding party shot. The guys pose like they think girls do, and the girls pose like they think guys do. And Levy pinned these really cute heels. OH! LOOK LOOK! MIRA PINNED A TIARA! A TIARA! IT'S SO PRETTY! I'D BE A PRINCESS! My stomach grumbled.

"Shut up, you two." I growled at in my general tummy area.

(an- Well, I really don't have anything to say

Granny Kagura- Then don't

Me- I feel a certain duty to my readers and-

Granny Kagura and Soul- Hee hee hee, duty...

Me- Oh, I got a book today.

Granny Kagura- I don't care!

Soul- I care, Master.

Me- Aw thanks, that makes me feel really special. But now I want some food.

Soul- Just wait-

Me- I DID MY WAITING! TWELVE YEARS OF IT!

Norma- Hiiii!

Me- IN AZKABAN!

Granny Kagura- But you're only twelve years old.

Me- I was strange baby, hon.)

Master's Question Corner: What is your OTP?

Me- I have three: NaLu, SoMa(Soul and Maka from Soul Earer), and Fax(Max and Fang from Maximum Ride)

Soul- Dude, I ship InuKags so hard.

Breccan- I love Vita/Stellan(from Master's original story that she's never shown anyone but Brecs and #1)

Norma- Max/broom(yes, from Fairy Tail)

Granny Kagura- A tie between GrayLu, ten and Rose(from, dare I say it, Doctor Who), and Merlin/Guinevere(from Merlin).

Me- BITCH I WILL CUT YOU!


	20. Le Babeh Showa

Lucy POV

So yeah, basically, I went until mid-March without a hitch. Unfortunately, I was getting larger, and I had to start wearing maternity clothes. Twins are so big. Levy, Juvia, Mira, Evergreen, and Erza aren't big yet! Bitches...

But, on March 17th, Lisanna and Wendy surprised us all with an afternoon filled with... fun...

Yeah, that's what I'll call it.

But, I guess you kinda wanna know what the hell I'm talking about, so I guess that'll suffice for a chapter.

(line break)

I woke up, and suddenly felt the need to look at my feet. So, I tried, but when I sat up, I was all too reminded of my large middle. Grrr... Get out of there...

Well, good thing Natsu's on a mission, and didn't hear me growl.

I hopped out of bed, and realized something else. I was super freaking tired. Guess I'll look like crap today. Hair in a sloppy ponytail, sweatpants, fundraiser tee, pullover hoodie, old crappy suede boots, and the like...

So, when I get to the guild, I was met with the oh-so familiar cry of, "Coooooooool!" And I was just like, 'Shit...' in my head.

I looked around for the annoying, blonde man, but it didn't take too long, since he had seen me first. I was rudely greeted by his hands on my stomach. I jumped away from him and accidentally kicked him in the gut.

"The famous Lucy-kick! Used on me! Cooool!" He cried. I wanted to shoot myself. But, that's when I got a good look around the guild. It was decked out in pastel colors. And we all know pastel colors mean.

"I can't believe I'm covering the first Fairy Tail baby shower! COOL!" Jason screeched. I stamped over to Mira at the counter.

"Who arranged this?" I demanded.

"It was Lisanna and Wendy. It's fun, don't you think?"

"Well it would be, if I wasn't greeted by a strange man putting his hands on my stomach." Mira just laughed at this, and I sat down on a stool, only to see Erza receiving the same welcome as me. Only, Erza was a bit more violent than a kick, to put it nicely.

"So where are Wendy and Lisanna?" I asked Mira.

"They're right over there, next to the gift table." Mira pointed to the left, and I stormed over there.

"What the hell? Why did you have to plan this on a day I'm tired and look like shit?" I yelled at them. I couldn't handle this early in the morning.

"Geez, Lucy. Calm down. We didn't know you'd be tired and stuff today." Lisanna said.

"But you could've gave me some kind of warning!" I told them.

"But what's the fun in that?" Wendy chimed in.

"Blah, blah, blah..." I went on until Wendy said something that made me happy.

"All the presents in this pile are yours." She said, gesturing to large stack, second to only one.

"Whose pile is that?" I asked, pointing at the biggest one.

"Erza's. Ichiya gave her like ten presents. It's kinda creepy." Lisanna said.

"Wait! Is he here? Now?" I was frantic.

"Yeah, raiding the snack table. The Trimens are here too, complimenting his every action." Lisanna said. I looked, and sure enough, there was everyone's favorite Blue Pegasus wizards. I heard calls of, "What a lovely choice Sensei! Your decisions are lovely and wise as always, Teacher!" And the like. But hey, Ichiya is Master's cousin, so he must've got his leadership skills from the same place.

I looked around the crowd. Not only were the Trimens and Ichiya, there were all our buddies from the Nirvana mission and the Grand Magic Games. There was Lyon, Jura(my homeboy), Chelia, Sherry Toby, Yuka, Jenny, Bacchus, Millianna, even Kagura was there for whatever reason.

"Wow, why are there so many people here?" I asked.

"Because, this is the first time in a long time that a wizards as famous as you guys are having children. And there's so many of you too." Lisanna explained.

I blushed and put my hands on my cheeks. I smiled without showing any teeth. "Am I... Famous?" I asked timidly, then giggled.

"It's not that hard to figure out, Blondie." Gajeel said sarcastically.

"Shut up! No one asked you Gajelly!" I blew up at him. And yes, I meant to say Gajelly.

"Calm down, Lu-chan." Levy advised, next to a pretty ticked Gajeel.

"Whatever. I'm gonna go talk mah homeboy." I walked away, and approached Jura.

"Lucy! My homegirl!" Jura put his arms up. We did our secret handshake, then shoulder bumped. "How's it goin'?" He asked.

"F***ing lovely." I told him, "How's everything at Lamia?"

"Well, Sherry's as annoying of course." I laughed. Big J. wouldn't tell anyone else that he thought that of Sherry. "And Chelia, my god, she's adorable. How can she and Sherry be related?"

"Well, their parents might've been siblings, or maybe-"

"You know what I mean. Oh, and Lyon seems to have a new crush."

"Oh my gosh who?"

"Well, he seems to have struck something up with Kagura from Mermaid."

"What?! Where did that come from?"

"I don't even know. It's super weird."

"Wow. Just wow."

"So, is anything happening around here that I should know?"

"Nothing that isn't all over Sorcerer."

"Really? Nothing?"

"Well, Lisanna met this guy at a coffee shop. His name is Taylor, and he's not a wizard, but he's super nice and really likes Lisanna a lot." I said.

"Sweet. Are you gonna eat any of those saltines?"

"Only if they're on a PB&J."

"That would be one thug sandwich."

"Um, why do you think I would eat it?"

"Haha, nice. Well, until next time, Princess."

"See ya later, Big J." I watched him walk over to Toby, Yuka, and Chelia. Well, that calmed me down. Talking to Big J. always made me happier. But that didn't mean I was ready to go back to Gajelly and them. I decided on Millianna, since I hadn't talked to her in so long.

"Hey Millianna." I strode up to her. She looked like she was eating chips and watching something very interesting.

"Sh... I'm watching them." She pointed at Kagura and Lyon, who looked like they were talking. And standing very close together.

"Mind if I join you?" I asked.

"Not at all." She replied, and patted an empty chair beside her, not taking her eyes off the scene. I sat down, and tried to hear what they were saying.

"Kagura... Ever since the ball... I just..."

"No, Lyon. Save it."

"Listen. Lisanna was a nice girl, but that was just like one time. I couldn't see that actually going anywhere."

"You still like her don't you?"

"No! I don't- I mean, I do, but not like that."

"What?"

"You're the only girl for me, Kags."

"Lyon..."

"You're beautiful, Babe." Lyon took her chin in her hands, and they looked into each other's eyes. But, before their lips actually touched, I got up, before I started sobbing. Lyon was so smooth!

Then, I decided to go talk to Romeo. He wouldn't do anything sappy. He's too much like Natsu, and a young teenage boy on top of it.

"Hey Lucy." Romeo seemed pretty bummed.

"Hey Romeo. What's up?"

"Nuthin' really... I was just wondering if Wendy and I would ever get married one day." I was mistaken.

"Of course. You two are great together. You love each other like the attention whore loves Facebook, like the narwhal loves the horn, like the bacon loves the whipped cream, like Forrest loves Jenny, like the pizza loves the Christmas dinner, like the hipster loves the flannel shirt, like the fat ugly english teacher loves the denim dress, like the stereotypical gay guy loves Zayn Malik, like the flapper loves the mini skirt, like the old white man loves the Republican Party, like Morgan Freeman reading scriptures at church on Sunday morning, like the short girl loves the pumps, like the redneck loves the rifle, like the hot to the dog, you're like the Pinterest community loves maternity pics, like the southerner loves the sweet tea, like the stalker loves dating websites, like the football player loves the letter jacket, like high schoolers love the cheap pop machine, like Macklemore loves thrift shopping, like hillbillies love banjos, like fat people love sweatpants, like the general populace loves Girl Scout cookies, like the emo person loves knives, like people with too much time on their hands love pallet projects, like the people who can't make up their minds love 1% milk, like the country singer loves pick ups, like the kid who really doesn't like his baby sitter loves the toilet, like nerdy teenage boys love cardigans, like the same teenage boy loves Montgomery Ward, like American history teaches love the civil war, like bookworms love the scent of books, like hipsters love Target, like people who don't have real friends love the Internet, like the OCD person loves soap, like the viewers of Duck Dynasty love Uncle Si, heck, you're even like the fangirls love Tom Hiddleston. But, what I'm trying to say is that you two love each other so freaking much, it's starting to get creepy." I took a long breath. Romeo just stared at me.

"...whatever you say, Lucy-nee..." He said, tentatively. I waited for him to say something else, but he didn't. Feeling awkward, I went back to the snack table. Sherbet... Yum... Ooh! And cheese balls. Crushed right in there. Looks like a snack to me.

After I ate my bowl of sherbet and cheese balls, I was ready to talk to Gajelly and them. It's amazing what Big J., some romantic drama material, pep-talk giving, and a bowl of yum can do to a person's mood.

But, they had disbanded into smaller groups. I decided to talk to Erza, Jellal, Wendy, and Gray, who had just arrived with Juvia.

"So yeah, I'm pretty sure that Juvia is fangirling over me even more now." I heard Gray say. "Hey Lucy." He turned towards me.

"Hay gurl hay!" I said, with a lovely derp face.

"So I heard you blew up at... Gajelly..."

"That little son of a bitch made me angry." I said. Gray laughed.

"You're funny. You really are."

"Oh yeah, guess what I heard from Big J.?"

This time it was Erza. "Who?"

"Jura, my homeboy." I replied, thinking that they were pretty slow.

"Well, um... All right. What was it?" Jellal asked.

"Well, apparently Lyon has a thing with Kagura." Their jaws dropped.

"Kagura? Like Mermaid Heel Kagura?"

"Damn straight." Shit, what did I think about cussing? Oh well, at least my children would be able to curse the best.

Well, we played lame shower games until lunch. And after we stuffed our faces, there was another game. It was hilarious when others were doing it, horrible when you were doing it. The game: A Kleenex box is taped to your butt. There are ping pong balls in the Kleenex box. The number of ping pong balls are determined by the number of children you are having. Wendy and Lisanna are master trolls. You have to get the ping pong ball out of the Kleenex box without the use of your hands.

Well, since I'm just the luckiest person in the world, I went first. I didn't know what we were playing, so I decided to be fun about it. But, my first mistake was choosing the hard variation. Easy had the plastic on the Kleenex box taken off. Hard had the plastic still on. Crap.

"Get out of there." I screamed at the Kleenex box, as I went into a bridge-like position. Still on my hands, I kicked up my legs. Why did I have to do hard? And couldn't I just have one child, like a normal person?

Then I a ping pong ball drop. Oh, hahaha. Wendy and Lisanna had written the names of our prospective children on the ping pong balls. Little Cattelya was the first out. Good. She would be my favorite. Hahaha, sorry Haru, but you're gonna have to watch the video of me cursing you out when you're older.

Agh, pelvic thrust pelvic thrust pelvic thrust. Why isn't Haru coming out? The little shit. Pelvic thrust pelvic thrust pelvic thrust...

Wait, did I just what I thought I heard? A ping pong ball? Everyone was cheering, so I figured it must be true.

I looked at the ping ping, and picked it up. I studied it for awhile. Then, I set it on the floor and stamped my frustration out. Sorry Haru.

"Geez Lucy, you're not actually gonna do that to your children, are you?" Levy-chan asked, looking legitimately concerned.

"Hell no, girl. I'd be more concerned about me cursing." I explained.

"Lucy, what did you just say?" Gray pointed out.

"Oh dammit... Wait! Shit! Agh!"I smacked my forehead repeatedly.

"So, who's up next?" Juvia asked. Wendy looked at her clipboard.

"Erza." She said. We all looked at our favorite red headed wizard.

"Give me the hard mode. And all of the ping pong balls!" Erza looked pretty serious about this.

"Um, how about one?" Lisanna asked, holding up a ball that said Shuda.

"I guess that'll be okay." Erza shrugged. As Lisanna taped the Kleenex box to Erza's butt, I made a friendly wager with Jellal.

"Bet you a nickel that Erza swears less than me."

"Lucy, that's not hard. Your little shitmouth is probably traumatizing your children before they're even born." Jellal told me, soberly.

"Shut up, asswad. How about, for a nickel, that Wendy or Lisanna breaks their clipboard by the end of the night." I offered.

"I don't think they will." Jellal said.

"So, a nickel? A big, shiny nickel?" I confirmed.

"A nickel." Jellal complied. We shook on it.

We watched Erza pelvic thrust and arch her back on the floor, to make little Shuda fall out, but it took her awhile. But probably shorter than me. Rrrrrr...

And now thinking about it, this game's humor is really crude. I didn't know Wendy and Lisanna... joked... about those things. Or found them funny. Well, you learn something new every day.

After Erza, Jellal had to go. He went for the easy option, though. Wussie. And after Jellal, Levy, Gajelly, Gray, Juvia, Mira, Fried, Elfman, and Evergreen all opted for the easy version.

"They're just no fun." I said to Erza.

"Preach it, sista." She said to me. We high fived. The night was fun, I guess. Better than any normal day. Well, except for when Jason took us for aside for interviews with our fiancée. And since Natsu, the lucky butt, was on a mission, I was all alone.

"So, Lucy, how COOL is it to be pregnant."

"It's okay, I guess."

"And were you happy when you learned about it?"

"Uh... It wasn't really planned, so I had my fears, but everything sorter itself out."

"And how did Natsu react when he heard your COOL news?"

"He kinda like, I don't know, took it as a challenge I guess. He said something about being a better father than Gray. But Gray hadn't... you know... then, so I got really confused."

"COOL! And are you and Natsu living together now?"

"Yeah, that was one of the first things we did."

"At his house?"

"Yeah. More room for children and such."

"COOL! So are you going on missions too?"

"Nope. I'm a full time wedding planner, pinterester, and pregnant lady."

"COOL! HOW COOL! COOL COOL COOL!" I had to calm Jason down before he had a heart attack or something. And that was the end of my interview. Hello? Headache? We have a new slot open for you. More brain cells have been fried...

And, before I knew it, it was ten o'clock, and both Wendy and Lisanna's clipboards were still intact. Crap. I only had like one nickel.

"Hand it over." Jellal held out his hand, palm up. I begrudgingly took out my nickel, and slammed it in his hand. I scowled at him.

"Shut up!" I barked at him.

"But I didn't say anything!"

"Just shut up!"

(An- And there's another[quite lame] chapter.

Soul- Congrats.

Me- Thanks Soul-y! And, it's come to my attention that a lot of my plots revolve around someone getting drunk. Like, there's at least three things now that wouldn't happen if a character wasn't drunk.

Granny Kagura- You uncreative person! Go hand in your writer card!

Me- *hiss* Precious...

Breccan- Lol, she's never hand in her writer card.

Soul- Even I know that.

Norma- Hiiii!

Granny Kagura- Then haven't you written anything about me yet? Even Soul's gotten a story.

Me- 'Cuz you're not that interesting.

Soul, Brecs, and Norma- OOOOO! BURN!

Granny Kagura- Shut up bitch-skanks! I'm gonna go talk to Pete.

Soul- Like the scientist Pete?

Granny Kagura- Yes him.

Me- Have fun. He'll try and take your feather.

Granny Kagura- Then I'll just hang out with the Seacrests.

Soul- How many are there anyways? Seacrests, I mean.

Me- I don't know... I've sentenced a few to the alligator pit... One even got the crocodile pit...

Brecs- No!

Me- Yes! We was being a jerk!

Brecs- Are you sure that wasn't your brother?

Me- No.

Soul- I'm still waiting for my number.

Me- I don't know... LETS CALL #1!

#1- *suddenly appears out of nowhere* You called, Master?

Granny Kagura- How did she-

#1- Apparition is a handy thing.

Granny Kagura- :o

#1- I'm dead serious.

Me- Go ask Snape. He's in room 394 ;D

Granny Kagura- Okay.

#1- What is it you require, O Glorious Master?

Me- How many Seacrests are there?

#1- Hmm... Was it 21h that got the crocodile pit?

Me- I think so.

#1- Then... That would bring our total up to... 493!

Soul- You girls be cray-cray.

Norma- Hey, don't talk crap about my Auntie Marshmallow #1! Or else you're getting the croc pit!

Soul- Bu-bu-but!

Norma- Or I could ghettostomp your face!

#1- Oh Norma...

Me- You don't have any feet...

Norma- I CAN DREAM!)

Master's Question Corner- "Favorite singer/band?"

Me- Mferd and Serns(for those who can decipher this, I tip my hat to you)

Brecs- Christina Grimmie. She's so amazing...

Soul- I LOVE MCR! but then they broke up... *sniff*

Me- It's okay, Soul-y. Another emo band will eventually take its place.

Soul- YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND! *runs away*

Me- It's true. I don't.

Granny Kagura- I like Aretha Franklin.

Me- R-E-S-P-E-C-T! FIND OUT WHAT IT MEANS TO ME! R-E-

Norma- I like Tom Hiddleston.

Me- He's an actor, though.

Norma- I still love him 3


	21. From the Shire to the spa

April 26, 795

Lucy POV

THIS LITTLE MOTHAF***A WILL DO AS I SAY OR I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL-

"Lucy, you're doing that wrong!" Natsu said. I paused my game of Mario Kart and looked at him.

"Oh yeah? You finish this race?" I demanded, holding out the controller. I was in 12th place halfway through the third lap. I don't think even Natsu could pull that off.

"All right. But did you have to choose the bit bike ALL the time? The quacker is so much better!" Natsu told me, taking the wheel.

I watched as he nearly fell of the edge of Koopa Cape, and laughed coldly. But, my jaw slowly dropped as he climbed higher and higher in the rankings until he got to third place at the end of the race.

"Geez Natsu, you're losing it." Happy said.

"I know... Sorry Lucy, I guess you win." Natsu looked bummed.

...

...

...

"HA! TOLD YOU!" I yelled in his face. I snatched back the controller.

"Wow Lucy, I thought you would be nice, and say something like, 'Oh Natsu! I could've never have pulled that off! Nom nom nom!' That's the sound of you two eating each others' faces." Happy was snide, as always.

"Bitch, I am four months pregnant with twins! I'm getting big, an you wanna know big means?" I flashed Happy my crazy eyes, and continued, crazy eyes still in commission, "It means that something is breaking inside of me! For me, it's my sanity! I'm yelling at a f***ing video game! It's that bad! You think I'll do something that normal? You're the crazy one, you little flying asswad!" Happy just stared at me for a couple of seconds, staring into my still crazy eyes.

"Natsu! Lucy's scary!" Happy wailed, and flew over to hide behind Natsu's head.

"GOOD!" I said, in a very grumpy cat-like manner.

"Lucy, your meme impersonations are not funny. Y u no stahp?" Natsu asked.

"Oh, ha ha ha." I fake laughed.

"Whatever, can we just go to the guild now?" Natsu whined.

"Fine." I turned off our wii, and stomped outside. Ugh, all my maternity clothes are ugly. At least I got some jeans to wear.

"Lucy! Look! It's a bird!" Natsu yelled, and pointed, once we were outside.

"Where?" I looked around frantically.

"Hahaha, made you look." Natsu laughed, and Happy giggled too. I groaned. Then, I stopped suddenly. A thought had occurred to me.

"C'mon Lucy!" Natsu was already several steps ahead of me.

"No. Well, not until you agree to something." I forced my voice to be calm.

"What is it?" Natsu jogged back to me, Happy trailing behind.

"You're gonna take me ring shopping today." I said, breaking a grin.

"I'm gonna what?" Natsu asked.

"Oh? This? You're on your own, buddy." Happy patted Natsu's head.

"What? But you're my wingman!" Natsu yelled at Happy.

"Haha, I got it." I giggled.

"You got what?" Happy asked.

"Since... You have wings... And Natsu said..." I stopped, before I embarrassed myself further.

"Well, whatever. Happy out, homies!" Happy dashed away before Natsu could say another word.

"So, why do you think you need a ring?" Natsu asked, sounding annoyed.

"Well, all the other girls got one when they were engaged. I figured I should have one too." I explained.

"But why do I need to go?" Natsu asked.

"Because it'd be weird if I went alone." I told him. Natsu groaned. "C'mon, I know this great little jewelry shop, downtown." I pulled him by the hand.

(line break)

"Shire Jewelers? What kind of name is that?" Natsu asked.

"Oh, hush up. Mr. Baggins runs it, and he always has really awesome stuff there. But don't try and buy the gold band in the counter, right under cash register. It's not for sale, and Mr. Baggins won't tell me why." I told him.

"I wouldn't be concerned..." Natsu grumbled. I walked in, and heard the bell ring.

"Lucy!" Cried a plump, short man. He had curly hair, and hairy feet.

"Mr. Baggins! How are you?"

"I'm great. You caught me just after elevenses!" He beamed.

"So, I brought my fiancée, Natsu."

"So this is the lucky man? And I see you two already got to... Know each other well..." Mr. Baggins motioned to my stomach.

"Twins. A boy and a girl." I told him, smiling.

"Well congratulations." Mr. Baggins' tone then got businesslike, "So, is there anything I can interest you in?" He asked.

"Yes, a classy ring, for our engagement. But just for me. Natsu doesn't seem that interested." I said. Natsu folded his arms over his chest and huffed. "Yeah, I kinda made him come." I added.

"Not to worry, my dear. It's not uncommon. Now, did you have anything in mind?"

"Well, I was kinda thinking like a red stone on a gold band."

"Ah! Lovely choice, Ms. Heartfilia. Follow me, if you will." Mr. Baggins bustled off to the counter, which he stood behind. I looked inside the glass display, and saw many beautiful rings.

"Would you like something more broad and sturdy, or thin and graceful?" Mr. Baggins asked.

"More thin." I told him. Mr. Baggins then pulled up five different rings.

"These seem to be your choices, Ms. Heartfilia." He said, "Would you like to try them on?"

"Of course!" I put on the first one, and I didn't like it at all. The second one was lovely, but I wanted to see what the other ones were like. But, before I could, a small, hairless... thing crawled out of Mr. Baggins' back room.

"No! Preciousssss!" It hissed.

"Gollum! Go back to your cave! I'm with a customer!" Mr. Baggins yelled at it.

"Filthy wizardses..." The thing muttered as it hobbled back to where it had came from.

"So, uh... Yeah. I like this one. I think we'll take it." I pointed to the second ring.

"That one?" Natsu asked, "I don't like it"

"Too bad." I told him. We then payed Mr. Baggins and left. Well, I think that was just peachy. Legitimately. That was great. Except for that... Whatever it was.

(Line break)

"They're going at it again." Jellal said to me and Natsu, as we joined him and Erza watching the brawl between Levy and Cana. Gajeel was off to the side, laughing his face off, so I don't think that this particular fight was going to end any time soon.

"What? Why are Levy and Cana fighting?" Natsu asked.

"It all started at Target when Cana bought a double shot of espresso." I told him. He stared at me blankly.

"Never mind..." He turned his head to watch the fight again. There was some good hair pulling and scratching going on, I have to admit. We soon got bored of watching this, and started talking about pregnancy instead.

"So, have you had any problems with stretch marks, Lucy?" Erza asked with academic interest.

"No, of course not. I'm fanservice. Silly Erza." Natsu and I laughed.

"Have you been having weird cravings like Lucy, Erza?" Natsu asked.

"Only always. One of the many joys of pregnancy." She said.

"Preach it, sistah!" I fist bumped Erza, and then Jellal took over.

"Yeah, we're looking at a house near Levy and Gajeel's. we're thinking about getting it. It looks really nice." Jellal explained, pulling out his phone, and showing us pictures of a mid-size house painted blue with white trim. It was really cute.

"Wait, there's a house near Levy and Gajeel's?" I asked. Natsu and I laughed at my bad joke, but Erza and Jellal once again remained silent.

"That's right, we still need to get Laki to do up our attic," Natsu said, "It's a good thing I don't have anything up there, anyways."

"I'm just excited for those little brats to get out of my body." I complained, giving Haru and Cattelya a mental kick in the pants.

"I hear that. And Lucy, have you ordered those shoes yet? Remember, we were going BOGO together." Erza said.

"Ah man, I forgot! Should we do that right now?" I facepalmed, and pulled out my phone.

"Yay! These shoes are so CUUUUTE!" Erza screeched. I raised my eyebrows, but decided it would be better not question any further.

"Kee-ay..." After a bit a of tapping, I pulled up the shoe website. Erza looked over my shoulder. "You wanted the ones with the buckle thing on the toe, right?" I asked.

"Right. And gold." She nodded.

"Erza, we're all getting gold. That's the theme color." I said.

"Duh." She seemed oblivious to the fact I thought she'd was a bit slow right then. I decided, yet again, not to say anything. My shoes had a little golden flower n the toe. So adorbs. As I pressed purchase, Erza leaned away from me.

"Have you guys decided on a honeymoon yet?" Erza asked me and Natsu. I turned to him, jaw dropped.

"Crap. I hadn't even though about that." I said.

"I suppose you wanna go to some sort of beach or whatever, like every Mary Sue in the book." Natsu sighed.

"No way. Where do you want to go?" Just because everyone else wants to, I won't go to a beach for my honeymoon.

"We could, like, rent a cabin in the woods somewheres." Natsu suggested.

"Hmm... For how long?"

"I don't know. A week?"

"Sounds lovely." I nodded.

"Erza and I already decided we're going to a small island to the south. It's so darn small, we can rent the whole thing. How big was it?" Jellal turned to Erza.

"Only like one and half square miles." Erza said.

"So, you're renting... An island?" I couldn't wrap my mind around it.

"Sho are." Jellal said, being the sassy, semi-gay friend he was.

"So, do you guys... Wanna like go eat some grape juice?" Natsu asked.

"Grape juice? You never eat anything that isn't spicy or fire." I raised my eyebrow at him.

"You don't even eat grape juice. You drink it." Erza muttered. I decided to ignore this. And I guess Natsu did too.

"Yeah, well I always hear everyone yapping about how much they loooove grape juice, so I figured I'd see what they were taking about." Natsu said, casually.

"No." I vetoed.

"Why not?" Natsu whined.

"We already ate!" I mimicked his tone.

"Nagging already, are we?" Jellal muttered. I chose to ignore this.

"Just go eat some fire or something. I swear, if you're hungry like this all the time, why don't you just carry around matches?" I facepalmed, and Natsu perked up, like this was actually a good idea. Erza and Jellal also facepalmed. We saw Gray and Juvia run in, screaming and looking all excited.

"OH MY GOSH! YOU GUYS! WE WON! WE WON!" Gray yelled.

"Won what?" Natsu asked.

"We won the radio contest for the tickets to the Hosenka spa! They gave us eight! We're all going!" Juvia explained, yelling the last sentence.

"You guys listen to the radio?" I asked quietly. No one seemed to notice.

"For how long?" Erza asked.

"A week." Gray said

"Sweet! When are we going?" Asked Jellal.

"Right now, bitches!" Juvia exclaimed.

"But where's Levy as Gajeel?" I piped up.

"We're gonna after they get here!" Gray yelled. We cheered in response, very manly. Too bad Elfman wasn't there to join in.

"I'll go get my stuff." I said, and traipsed out of the doors, Natsu close behind. Oh this week was gonna be... Interesting.

(An- So I just saw this super weird fanfic called "Obama's Adventures" by Faeo Elvier. Here's a snippet from it:

"The said man who was swallowed in Darkness groaned as Light penetrated his eyelids, He heard voices.

"Hey, Happy; Why do you think this man is in a black fancy suit?"

Another high voice answered, "I don't know Natsu."

Then a feminine voice answered, "That isn't very polite Natsu! Besides, He's waking up!"

Obama fluttered his eyes open and slowly got up as he saw A blue blur flying, a yellow blur and a pink blur."

It's not really that long, but it's super funny and good for a laugh.

Granny Kagura- Even I laughed at it.

Soul- We were all terrified.

Me- I wish it would've been Abe Lincoln, but hey, you win some, you lose some.

Granny Kagura- You cray, girl. Abe Lincoln is dead.

Me- It's a fanfic. No one cares.

Breccan- I just wish Obama hadn't won the election.

Soul- Did you want Romney to win?

Breccan- No. Gary Johnson FTW, bitches!

Me- Our dear Brecs is a libertarian.

Granny Kagura- *mutters* Because he's just too much of a hipster.

Breccan- What do you say? I'm not a hipster!

Me- He's also quite sensitive about that topic.

Soul- But he totally is-

Me- Shhhhhhhh...

Breccan- Just leave me alone! I have a scarf to crochet.)


	22. Gajeel f---ed it up

Juvia POV

EEEEEEEEEP! OMG OMG OMG OMG! JUVIA'S GOING TO A SPA WITH GRAY-SAMA! And everyone else, but mostly GRAY-SAMA. Better yet, Juvia doesn't even have to stalk him there! But Juvia remembers the last she was at a spa with Gray-sama*. Hehehehehe...

"Bitches please, we all know I'm the most fabulous!" Lucy was saying. I looked at her. I had to say I didn't agree. Gajeel-kun is way more fabulous than she will ever hope to be.

"No way. I'm fabulous." Jellal struck a pose. Well, f*** logic. Although Juvia did laugh with everyone else of the sheer foolishness of everyone. As she thought before, Gajeel-kun is obviously the most fabu.

"Agh, Natsu. Shut up." Lucy said. I took notice of Natsu, who was lying quite pitifully on the seat, his head in Erza's lap, Lucy on his other side. Natsu was moaning.

"Juvia agrees." Juvia said. It sounds like the kind of noise that would very easily get tire of.

"He can't shut up, he's unconscious." Levy said.

"Still..." Gray-sama mumbled.

"Do you want anything from the trolley, dears?" Asked an older woman with a funny accent, wheeling around a cart full of delicious looking things.

"I do!" Jellal yelled, "What do you want, Erza?"

"If it's candy, I'll take it." Erza said. Jellal got up to look at what the lady had on the cart.

"What are these things?" Jellal poked at golden box.

"Chocolate frogs, and these are licorice wands, and these are Bertie Botts' every flavored beans." The lady said.

"Is Bertie a man or a woman?" Lucy narrowed her eyes.

"It's one of the many secrets of the wizarding world." The lady grinned.

"Ah hell, I'll take two of each." Jellal decided, and took out his wallet. He loaded his arms up with the candy.

"Man, how much candy is that?" Gray-sama asked, motioning to the large pile of candy in Jellal's arms.

"I don't know. And I'm not sure i want to be the first to eat it." Jellal made a face at the candy. I waited for Erza to step up and volunteer to taste one first, but she merely waited patiently. Finally, someone made a move.

"I'll try one of those bean things." Gajeel-kun suggested, and Jellal hade him a box. We watched as he pulled out a green one.

"I should be safe with a nice green apple." He said, and popped it in his mouth. Promptly after, however, he coughed it out. "What the hell is this shit? It tastes like boogers!" Gajeel-kun yelled.

"How do you know what boogers taste like?" Lucy asked.

"Ooooh! Levy's getting hitched boogie-breath!" Jellal teased. We laughed, except Gajeel-kun.

"Could you call him... The boogie man?" Gray-sama suggested.

"He does make children cry." Lucy agreed.

"Remember that Edolas episode where Gajeel scared that child for Wendy? That has to count for something." Erza pointed out. Levy never joined in because she was too busy laughing.

Gajeel-kun eventually got so angry that he iron-punched a hole in the window, and the train had to stop and kick us off. And here's where Juvia hands it over to Lucy.

Lucy POV

Thanks Juvia, for that lovely report. And now, I go out on the field to walk to the spa because Gajeel f***ed it up.

"Did you see their faces?" Levy giggled, and Gajeel laughed as well. She did a bad impression of the conductor, puffing out her cheeks and narrowing her eyes. "You hooligans! That window cost 100 million jewel! Get off this train now! Blah blah blah!"

"It didn't cost 100 million jewel." I muttered.

"Well at least Levy's not angry." Erza shrugged. I looked at them joking around, and seriously contemplated the phrase: 'Opposites attract.'

"Ugh, how far away is this place?" I complained, feeling seriously pooped after about ten minutes of walking.

"We haven't gone a mile yet. Calm down." Jellal said.

"You're not pregnant, so pipe the f*** down." I shot back. I was getting really irritated really fast. I looked at Erza, Juvia, and Levy for support, but Levy was still giggling with Gajeel, Erza rolled her eyes at me, and Juvia seemed to have not noticed the entire little scene that just happened there over the glory of her wondrous Gray-sama.

"Whatever. I just want to find somewhere where we can ride to Hosenka." I whined, slumping my shoulders.

"No way! I'd rather go streaking in the middle of the day than ride in another one of those... Things!" Natsu exclaimed.

"Natsu, you've done that before." I pointed out.

"Fine then. I'd rather just carry you." He said. I stuck out my arms.

"By all means!" I stared at him.

"I was kidding." He insisted.

"It didn't sound like you were kidding about streaking."

"I wasn't!"

"But you were kidding about carrying me?"

"Yes."

"You're such a mewling little toad-spotted rabbit-sucker." I shot back, turning the corners of my mouth down.

"Ah. Shakespearean insult. Classy." Jellal noticed.

"Thank you," I said, "I try." We then walked in silence for a loooong time.

"God damn! Ow!" Erza yelped, and grabbed her foot.

"What?" I asked.

"These sandals don't keep out rocks!" Erza unstrapped her rather stylish sandal, and brushed the bottom of her foot off. Several small pebbles fell on the ground.

I looked down at my own barely covered feet. Maybe I should've worn sneakers or boots or something. But then again, I didn't think I'd be walking IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!

You would think that railroad tracks would have a bunch of towns and s*** by them, wouldn't you? But no! This railroad tracks go through the middle of the f***ing woods! I am getting real sick of this s***.

"Hey Lucy," Natsu said.

"What?" I demanded at him, using my... Angry voice, to put it nicely. Natsu shrunk back a bit.

"There's a town over there. We were going to see if there was a fro-yo place there." Natsu pointed, and I saw a smallish town, but not too terribly small. "Gosh." He added, and stared at me all sideways-like.

"Don't look at me like that!" I yelled.

"Like what?" Natsu asked.

"At her boobs." Gray muttered.

"No! Not at my boobs! Staring at me like... Like... Like I'm some sort of freak! Just because I'm getting all big and pregnant, doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me! You're the one who knocked me up, you know!" I started blubbering at the end of my rant, and Natsu looked even more freaked out.

"Way to go, Salamander. You know how Bunny-girl gets." Gajeel sounded exasperated.

"This is you battle. We're gonna go find some fro-yo. C'mon guys." Levy said, and lead the group through the forest.

"W-w-wait!" Natsu reached out for them. I plunked down on the forest floor, and hugged me knees awkwardly around my swelling belly.

"You don't even want to be alone with me anymore. Am I too fat?" My eyes starting producing such an over-abundance of tears, that my face burned with the saltiness of them.

"No, Lucy! It's not like that!" Natsu say down next to me, and I snapped my face away from him, my hands covering my eyes.

"It is too like that." I sobbed. How could he be so mean? So tactless? Even for Natsu!

"Lucy, look at me." Natsu's voice was calmer, and I felt him put his arm around my shoulders. I love how warm he is, even though I've beat this topic to death already. I tentatively turned my face towards him. His eyes were bright, and he was wearing that grin of his. I felt my heart-rate start to rise and my cheeks feel warm.

He reached up and wiped away the tears from my cheeks, then put his hand on the side of my face. "There. That's better. You're beautiful, Luce, and don't ever think any different." He sounded so smooth, so romantic, so... un-Natsu like. And that was okay every once and awhile. But not all time. I kissed him, and wrapped my arms around him. We tongue-wrestled for a little bit, and then we pulled back.

"C'mon, lets go get some fro-yo." Natsu said. Oh, how I love him.

(line break)

"Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling

From glen to glen, and down the mountain side

The summer's gone, and all the roses falling

'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.

But come ye back when summer's in the meadow

Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow

'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow

Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so.

But when he come, and all the flowers are dying

If I am dead, as dead I well may be

You'll come and find the place where I am lying

And kneel and say an "Ave" there for me.

And I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me

And all my grave will warm and sweeter be

For you will bend and tell me that you love me

And I shall sleep in peace until you come to me."

I stared at Levy, Juvia, and Erza as they sang 'Danny Boy'.

"When the f*** did you learn that? That wasn't even bad!" I demanded.

"When you two were macking it out in the woods." Levy sassed back.

"Shit gurl, that was a long make out session. But at least they're lovely singers now. It's a win for all of us." Jellal shrugged.

"It's such a beautiful song." Gray was sobbing over Gajeel, who looked a bit teary-eyed as well.

"FRO-YO!" I yelled. That snapped everyone back to reality. We walked around the smallish town, and discovered there was no fro-yo place, but there was a grocery store. I'll not bore you with the details.

Anyways, in a couple of hours, we were headed off down a road that we were sure lead to Hosenka. And spas. And some time with mah Natsu. Oh yeah.

(line break)

After we put on those spa robe things**, we plopped down on the floor of the large room we were sharing with the others. I opened the little brochure dealy they gave us.

"Natsu, what do you want to do?" I asked him, and pointed at the brochure thingy.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" He replied.

"D***it, Natsu! I f***ing asked your opinion, and you just shoot my kindness in my face! If I just chose everything, you're complain that you didn't get to choose anything. So choose something now, or shut the h*** up!" I snapped.

Gajeel whistled.

"You shut up too, Nose-Ring!" I yelled at him.

"They're studs!" He yelled, and touched his nose.

"You're such a girl, Gaj-kun." Juvia said, with that stoic look on her face. This made me laugh. I went over to Juvia, and put my arm over her shoulders. She stiffened in annoyance.

"You know what I think we should do? All of us girls should go to the hot spring. Alone." I said. Juvia slipped out from under my arms, and went to Gray.

"I'm game." Levy stood. Gajeel looked almost offended. I chose to ignore him at the moment.

"I'll do it." Erza said. Jellal simply rolled his eyes.

"No. Juvia's not leaving Gray-sama." Juvia pouted, her lips pursing.

"Pfft. Your loss. C'mon, Erza, Levy-chan." I said, and started walking towards the hot spring. I heard then follow and slam the door behind them. We walked toward the very pretty spring, disrobed and got in.

*-If you haven't watched OVA 4 yet, GO F***ING FIND AND WATCH IT! THE NALU! THE GRUVIA! I DIED MULTIPLE TIMES WHILE WATCHING IT(even though I'm immortal;D)!

**-there's probably some sort of fancy Japanese word for it, but as you've probably noticed by now, I'm lazy and not very dedicated to my work

(AN- And that's that.

Granny Kagura- No.

Me- Shut up. No one cares about your meme impressions.

Granny Kagura- What if I told you-

Soul- *slaps Granny Kagura in the face* Shut you whore mouth!

Granny Kagura- I don't always get slapped in the fave, but when I do-

Me- You get #3 siced on you. Go, my servant!

#3- *Pops out of nowhere, tackles Granny Kagura, and injects... something... in her arm*

Soul- What was that?

Me- Not heroin.

#3- Yeah. It was just tranquilizer fluid. Why would I waste perfectly good heroin on that? It fetches such a good price behind Wal-Mart.

Me- And despite what it may seem like from my ANs, neither me or any of my Marshmallows are on drugs, sell drugs, or have any association with drugs. I live in a suburban small town.

Brecs- Master is just so wonderful 3

Me- And by the way, my dad told me today that he's watched Charlie the Unicorn. And the second one.

Older brother- WHAT?

Older sister- WHEN DID HE-

Me- He just loves me more so he told me first! Go sulk in your rooms like the teenagers you are!

Older brother & sister- NO!

Soul- Teenager logic +-0

Me- And I'm also writing an autobiography. SPOILER ALERT(I was born in 1776). I'll be putting that on my bio when I finish it.

Soul- Now would be such a great time for Granny Kagura to say something condescending.

Me- Well she's not with us!

#3- Yeah. I took her to our polar beat because we ALL know how much she loves white hair.

Me- Especially if its luscious.

#3- And has lots of fangirls.

Me- And is... Pretty.

#3- And possibly pedophilic.

Me- And argues with his brother all the time.

#3- And wears lots of makeup.

Me- And likes his pants very breezy.

#3- And lost his arm.

Me- To his brother.

#3- That's enough.

Me- Yeah.

Soul- Who you talking about?

Brecs- I know who you're talking about.

Me- Well Soul, have you watched Inuyasha?

Soul- No.

#3- That explains it.

Me- I'm also writing a short story about love in different ages in childhood and how it... Develops. I'm also setting it in the 1800s, because I'm just a big nerd. I'll be putting it on fictionpress if I ever get around to it. My username is 'MKH'

Soul- You dirt little solicitor. I hate solicitors. They're not cool.

Me- I'll get over it.)


	23. Peepers

Lucy POV

"This feels so nice!" I exclaimed, as I leaned back and spread my arms out.

"I just wanna live here!" Levy said, and crossed her legs.

"I'm kind of disappointed that Juvia didn't want to come with us, though." Erza pointed. I nodded.

"I wonder if Juvia actually like, literally melts into a hot spring. Since she's all watery and shit." I said.

"Lu-chan, all of your OOC swearing isn't even amusing Master anymore. Maybe that's a sign." Levy said.

"Yeah... You're probably right..." I muttered. I sat there, not listening to Levy and Erza after that. I mean, my OOC swearing is the only thin veil on how boring this fic is deep down. It's just, I don't know. Swearing has become so deeply ingrained into my mind, that I'm not sure I'll be able to let it go.

I stared absently at a rock, not wanting to think about it. I sunk into the water down to my neck. I didn't realize how cold my shoulders were until I put them in the water, but they warmed in seconds, so we're all good.

"I kinda want a cookie. And some chicken pot pie." Erza said, straightening up.

"Do you think the staff would take food here?" I asked.

"They might." Levy said.

"Eh, I don't want to get up and find out." Erza relaxed again.

"I don't know about you guys, but my back has been quite the b**** lately." I said, patting my own back for emphasis. EMPHASIS!l

"I know that feel." Erza nodded.

"Booby buddies! Sorry, Levy. You're still cute." I said.

"What the s***?" Levy demanded.

"What the s*** what?" Erza asked.

"I feel so left out!" Levy wailed.

"She's right. She does have the only realistic body." Erza nodded.

"Oh my gosh, Levy-chan! Quite freaking out! We can be book buddies. You and Erza can be ivory dress buddies." I offered. Levy sniffed.

"Okay. I can't stay mad at you, Lu-chan!" Levy said. This touched me, legitimately.

"I could never get mad at you Levy-chan!" I started to cry.

"Lu-chan!"

"Levy-chan!" We ran through the water to hug each other. I thought I saw Erza shake her head. After Levy and I tore ourselves apart, and I wiped a year from my eye, I thought I heard a noise that sounded suspiciously like a thud from outside the fence.

Jellal POV

"This is so dumb," Gray said, "We've already seen them naked. Or at least the ones we want to see." Natsu, Gajeel, and I shook our heads.

"Your fiancé has been fangirling over you practically since you met. Our's are still awkward." Gajeel explained. Gray looked at Juvia, and she nodded.

"But I still don't know why I'm coming along! My fiancé is right here!" Gray exclaimed.

"What if we need to kneel on someone's back? You're the perfect candidate, Gray." I said. He kinda made a noise that sounded like, "Tuh!" Except it sounded more like he was spitting.

Oh, how I longed for the red-haired beauty that is the Titania, my Erza. I have to admit, I did bang her twice, but she's not running around her apartment naked or anything! I need to see this shit!

"Here seems like a good spot." Natsu said, "There's a knot hole in the wood!" I ran over, and Gajeel nearly knocked me over. Sure enough, Natsu seemed to be looking through the wood, his face pressed up against the fence.

"Lemme see, Salamander!" Gajeel whispered.

"No. I'm gonna let Jellal look." Natsu stepped aside, and I quickly stepped in, before Gajeel. When I looked through the knot hole, oh I saw them alright. Erza looked like a f***ing goddess! What with her, ah... I'll not bore you with the details. I know this is only T-rated.

Suddenly I felt Gajeel push me, and my nose caught the wood but I still fell into the fence, and it made a loud thud.

"Did you hear that?" I heard Lucy say.

"Way to go, Gajelly." I whispered.

"Shut up, Pretty Boy." He hissed back. Natsu was still in a Lucy-induced ecstasy, and lying in the ground and drooling a bit. Gray and Juvia had receded into the shadows and were making out. I decided on the knot hole again. Gajeel had let down his guard, so I hip-checked him out of the way.

Oh yes, my lovely goddess, the Titanina, my Erza. Wait, is she looking this way. Shit, she's probably gonna-

I moved my head just quick enough to hear a throwing star thud against the fence. I joined Natsu on the ground.

"I have... No regrets!" I drooled. Gajeel looked through the knot hole one more time. This time he joined Natsu and I, muttering very x-rated things about 'Shorty'.

Gawd, I love spas.

Lucy POV

"You think the guys are peeping on us?" I asked.

"Yes." Erza said, she then looked at the fence and threw a throwing star at a random spot.

"Oh well." And at this point, I actually stood up, and did a pelvic thrust or two.

"What?" Levy asked, emphasizing the h.

"Pelvic thrust, b****es. It's classic."

I gave them my best queenly face, and then sat down and leaned back. "Silly peasants." I muttered. My eyelids started to feel heavy, but I didn't want to fall asleep just yet.

"So Erza, did you watch that new episode of Ancient Aliens where-"

Levy started. I couldn't help myself. I fall asleep every time Levy talks about that.

Natsu POV

"Natsu! Natsu!" I heard a feminine voice call. It was Levy. I could tell she didn't want to harm me, so I stood up, stepped over Jellal and Gajeel, and walked up to the fence.

"Yeah, Levy?" I shouted back.

"There's someone in here you need to... Take care of!" Levy started giggling, and I heard Erza giggling as well. This meant the person was Lucy, so I hopped over the fence without a second thought.

Lucy was lying naked in the hot spring, sleeping. Levy must've been talking about Ancient Aliens or something. I noticed her robe sitting right next to her. I lifted her out of the water, kind of intentionally, kind of not intentionally grabbing her ass in the process. I managed to her her into the robe, and wrapped a towel around her after that. I carried her to our room. And it was private! No one but us! It was lovely.

Well, I better wake her up. But how... Then, I got a lovely idea. A very lovely idea.

"Lucy! I bet Baby Luigi is better than you at Mario Kart!" I yelled at her. She voted upright.

"No bitch! No!" She yelled right back.

"Good. You're up." I said.

"What? Natsu? Godamn that Levy! She knows I fall asleep every time she starts talking about Ancient Aliens." Lucy babbled, then took notice of her surroundings, "You carried me here?" She clarified.

"Yeah. And you were really heavy too!" I lied. She wasn't that bad.

"You're turning into Happy." She pouted.

"Yeah blah," I was tactful as usual, "So. We have some down time. Just the two of us, and um... Was there anything in particular you wanted to do?" I was hoping she would receive the messages I was sending, if you know what I mean. She just chuckled.

"Ah... I got ya." Lucy chuckled again. "Come over here, you big lump." Well, I nearly tackled her, and after that... I'll leave that to your imaginations. You'll find no lemons here!

(An- Holy crap! An update!? That like the first, in what, a month?

Soul- I think about that long.

Granny Kagura- No one even cares.

Me- Your mom doesn't even care!

Granny Kagura- I don't have a mom!

Me- Exactly! Burn bitch!

Granny Kagura- Whatever. Don't you have things to tell your readers?

Me- Oh yes! That's right! I'd like to address the pressing issue at hand. That issue would be: Gray's "death".

Soul- Ooh. Good issue.

Me- Yes, yes. Well, the first thing I thought that was, "Man, the entire fandom is going to, like, blow up now." And that it did. I haven't seen that many fan theories, gif sets, pins on Pinterest, all at one time ever before. I even checked my twitter to see what lame excuse Mashima had. He only said "Wait until next week. You will be surprised." Or some shit like that. But back to the death. I'm clearly going through the five stages of grief right now.

Stage one, denial: No... Mashima is too much of a wimp to do that... He wouldn't actually kill Gray.

Stage two, anger: THIS F***ING S***! MASHIMA! GO TO H***! JUST GO TO H***, MASHIMA! F*** IT AL! GRAY IS DEAD! AND IT'S ALL MASHIMA'S GODD*** FAULT!

Step three, bargaining: If I don't I think about it, it won't be true!

Step four, depression(my current stage: Twitching every time I think about it, insides slightly mushy, looking up fan art of Gray, crying, etc.

Stage five, acceptance: I will never accept this s***. F*** you Mashima.

I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL NEXT WEEK! I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO MY GRAY-GRAY NOW! NOW! NOW NOW NOW! *sobs*

Brecs- It's okay, Master. You can hug me all you want until the next chapter comes out. I can comfort you, and well watch Captain America together.

Me- Oh Brecs! You're the most lovely human being imaginable!

Soul- But he's just your imagin-

Me- Shut up Soul, I still have things to say on Gray's "death". I will still refuse to accept my sexy little ice wizard is dead until the motherf***ing funereal. Mashima's probably not even going to so anything special about it, just have Porlyuscia and Wendy and Chelia patch him up, good as new, at which point every member of the fandom will take a handgun, and shoot themselves. Me, I am getting some satisfaction from this death. Everyone is understanding how awesome Gray is, and how he protected Juvia, and how stupid Gray is because Juvia is made out of freaking water. But the gesture was nice, to oversimplify it. And what Gray was about to say to Juvia... As much I would love to delude myself with fantasies of them getting together, he probably would've just said something like, I don't know, "The dragon slayers are all fighting dragons. We can turn our attention to the small fries." Or some other Mashima bulls***. But other than that, I actually liked the chapter, which makes it even worse! It's like a love/hate relationship, except more intense. On one hand, we have Ultear experiencing some good old fashioned Fairy Tail bad guy revelations, and on the other hand, we have Gray's death, which is so FREAKING OUT OF THE BLUE, if I do say so myself.

Granny Kagura- Are you about done?

Me- Well I actually have other things to say. One is this: Don't expect many updates. Like ever. Due to my lazy nature, and utter lack of motivation for most things, I doubt many updates will be in the future weeks. Unless I go all freak on this fanfiction s***.

Granny Kagura- Was that it?

Norma- Hiiiii!

Me- No, well, I had another idea for a fanfic. But since I already have enough fanfics I never update, I thought it wouldn't be the wisest idea to start a new one. Feel free to steal, but PM me if you do. I'd like to read it, of course. Okay, here goes:

NaLu fluff s***, of course, being the main theme of this. It's told like Lucy is writing to her diary about her blunders in Fairy Tail Prep, and awkward teenage romance with Natsu, the pink headed idiot/class clown. Trust me, this fic could go on for years.

And another one: Actually tell the epic story of medieval princess, Lucy Heartfilia, forced into an arranged marriage with Loke Zodiac. Although Lucy likes Loke, it's not like she wants to marry that loser. So, she foolishly goes out walking one evening to clear her head in the Ancient Wood. Lucy is then kidnapped by the dragon lord, the handsome Natsu Dragneel. Natsu takes her to his castle, and Lucy hates it there at first, but actually starts to fall in love with Natsu. Total Beauty and Beast thing. But everyone always uses Beauty and the Beast for Gajeel and Levy. Natsu and Lucy never get that, but at least I'd read it, so you can be secure in that.

Granny Kagura- No one's gonna take that up.

Me- I still want to get my ideas out there, though :(

Soul- C'mon Kagura. Self expression and arts are cool.

Me- The only problem with the liberal arts is that it doesn't provide steady income. I'm hoping for a job in a cubicle or something.

Brecs- But Master, you promised me you would help me open up my hypothetical tea/coffee shop!

Me- The Kellogg-Briand Pact promised to prevent all war! Welcome to the real world, Brecs!)

Master's Question Corner: What's your most irrational fear?

Me- Flying. In a plane. Especially over an ocean. I've never done it before, but I'm deathly afraid of it.

Brecs- I'm afraid of needles and shots. Man, after reading Maximum Ride... *shudder*

Granny Kagura- I'm afraid of meth addicts. It's the main reason I don't watch Breaking Bad.

Soul- I'm afraid of corn mazes. Yes, like the ones for little kids. Stephen King is a bitch.

Norma- I'm afraid of bulky Hufflepuffs with a large sack if potatoes, and a muscular arm.


End file.
